An Unexpected Life
by Reese M
Summary: Olivia and Alex get an unexpected gift during a really hard case, that leads to an unexpected life. AO set two years after Second Chances.
1. Chapter 1

The heavy sound of their footsteps on the stairs filled Olivia's ears as she and Elliot made their way to the fifth floor of the apartment building. Uniforms had called in a rape victim and she and Elliot were the ones on call. As they approached the landing Olivia could see the uniforms out in the hallway, next to an open door. When one of them spotted her and her partner he started towards them. Pulling her badge from her belt she mimicked Elliot's gestures, showing the beat cop their shields. He nodded at them and then lead them towards the apartment.

"What do we got?" Olivia asked.

"White female, mid to late sixties." The uniform started as they entered the apartment. "She's beaten up pretty bad. No panties which is why we called you guys."

"Who called it in?" Elliot asked.

The uniform shrugged. "Dispatch says the call came from this location but we haven't found a phone yet."

Olivia walked around the apartment, slipping on a pair of latex gloves, while listening to Elliot and the uniform. There was an empty cordless phone cradle on the end table next to the couch. The coffee table was over turned, and there were broken bits from bric-a-brac that looked as if it had come from the mantel.

"They've already taken her to St. Mary's." The uniform finished.

Elliot nodded. "Thanks." Then went on his own walk about of the apartment.

Glass fell from a sliver picture frame that Olivia picked up off the floor. There were three people in the picture. Two older women who looked to both be in their early sixties, one with long silver hair that she had pulled into a bun on top of her head and crystal blue eyes, the other woman looked as if she'd just stepped off a travel brochure for Ireland with her long red hair and bright green eyes. The third person in the picture was a little girl who looked to be six maybe seven years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes that reminded Olivia of Alex.

After bagging the picture, Olivia stood up from her crouched position and walked over to Elliot to show him. "What's this look like to you?" She asked showing him the picture.

Elliot looked at the three people in it and then at the background. "A family picture taken at Pride." Elliot had gotten a crash course in such things as Pride since Alex's return two years ago.

"Right. Which means.."

A darkness clouded Elliot's normally bright eyes. "We have a serial rapist attacking lesbians."

Anger flashed in Olivia's dark eyes. "So if she called the cops then the attack started in another room and finished out here."

Elliot nodded. "So lets see where it started at." He reached over and pressed the page button on the cordless phone base.

A soft muffed beeping could be heard from one of the two bedrooms. The room the two detectives entered was painted in soft pastels, had a small bed, and other items that clearly marked it as being a little girl's room. Stepping further inside, they listened for the next beep. It was coming from the closet. With his hand on his gun Elliot slowly slid the closet door open.

As soon as she saw Elliot the little girl backed up against the wall of the closet and tried really hard to pull herself into a tight ball. Elliot, knowing when to let Olivia handle things, stepped out of the girl's line of sight.

Olivia crouched down and smiled a little. "Hi." She said softly. "I'm Olivia. I'm a police officer." She pulled her shield from her belt again and held it out to the girl. The girl looked up slowly, her eyes fixing on the gold badge and then on Olivia's face. Reaching out the girl took the offered object and held it in her tiny hands. "What's your name sweetheart?"

"Allison.. Allie's shorter though." The girl replied, her tiny voice full of fear and tears. She looked at Olivia for a moment longer, drawing the gold shield to her chest as if it would protect her, and then asked. "Where's Bubbe? Is she ok?"

Olivia held the little girl's gaze as she held out her hand for the girl to take. "Is Bubbe your grandmother?" The girl nodded. "She's not here right now sweetheart so your going to come with me and Elliot. He's a police office too."

Allie finally looked past Olivia and over at Elliot, and then back at Olivia. "Can I see his badge too? Bubbe told me never to go with people I don't know."

Elliot took his badge out and handed it to the little. "That's what I've told my little girls too. It's good advice."

Allie took the badge, looked it over, compared it to Olivia's and then handed it back. She then pressed Olivia's against her chest again. "You have kids?" She asked Elliot.

Elliot nodded as he crouched down next to Olivia. "Three girls and one boy."

"Eww boys are gross."

Olivia laughed lightly. "They sure are sweetie."

This time when Olivia held her hand out to the girl, Allie took it. Olivia easily lifted the girl into her arms and carried her to the car.

Sitting on the couch in the children's room at the station, Olivia handed Allie a juice box. The little girl took it and said thank you before taking a sip. Olivia waited another moment before starting her questions. "Allie, is there anyone we can call to let them know where you are?"

Allie shook her head. "It's just me and Bubbe since Nana Dette died."

"Nana Dette?" Olivia asked.

Allie reached over, put her juice down and picked up the bagged picture and then pointed at the redhead woman. "Nana Dette was Bubbe's Shikse Kale."

On the other side of the glass Alex stood next to John watching Olivia with the little girl. When the little one used what sounded like Yiddish words she looked over at her thin, tall, companion.

"Non-Jewish bride." He replied.

"Oh." Alex responded with a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Turning back to the glass she lost any hints of that smile. "It looks like we'll have to call child services. The grandmother's still unconscious." She watched a little longer while Olivia talked to the girl. "What's she holding?"

"Olivia's shield. She hasn't let it go since Liv gave it to her."

Back in the room, Olivia got ready to ask the really hard questions. "Allie, can you tell me what happen in your apartment today?"

Allie once again brought Olivia's shield up and pressed it to her chest, only this time she covered it with the picture she'd still been holding. "I had a grumpy tummy this morning and my forehead was a little warm so Bubbe let me stay home from school. She made me soup and we were in my room watching Nemo cause when I'm sick Bubbe lets me watch the little DVD thing in my room. Then I think I feel asleep."

"How did you end up in the closet?"

"Bubba was yelling and it woke me up." Allie moved closer to Olivia. "I went to see why she was yelling cause Bubbe doesn't yell. Nana Dette said that Bubbe's smart mouth made up for her not yelling. Then I heard a man's voice, a loud crash, and Bubbe screamed. I got scared so I grabbed the phone and hide in my closet just like Nana Dette told me."

"And then you called 911?"

Allie nodded. "I was really scared so I covered my ears cause the man was loud and Bubbe was yelling. Then it got quiet and then you came."

The girl was pressed up against Olivia's side and Olivia reached out and put an arm around her. "Allie, did you see the man?"

Allie didn't answer. She just buried her head in the crook of Olivia's arm.

"Allie, I really need you to tell me, ok? Whatever you can tell me about him will help me find him and put him in jail." Olivia said softly. She paused a moment and then asked. "Was he tall or short?"

"Tall."

Olivia nodded and started to rub circles on the girl's back. "Was his hair dark like mine? Or light?"

Allie looked up at Olivia for a moment and then replied, "It was yellow like that pretty lady's you stopped to talk to."

Olivia knew that on the other side of the glass Alex was blushing. "Did you see his face?" The girl shook her head. "Ok, was his hair long or short?"

"Short."

"And what about his clothes?" Olivia asked.

Allie looked up at Olivia with confusion in her eyes. "He was wearing a dress."

Olivia perked up an eye brow. "A dress?"

Allie nodded. "It was brown and looked itchy and it had a hood I think and he had a rope for a belt."

Alex took her black framed glasses off and pinched her noise. "Great our perp is either a monk or a priest or someone who doesn't mind wearing wool in this heat."

"Time to go back and canvas the area." John replied as he headed for the door. "Some had to notice a monk hanging around." When he noticed Alex wasn't following he asked, "Coming Councilor?"

"Go on Detective." She smiled at John. "I need to talk to Olivia and I think she's going to want to wait for child services." 


	2. Chapter 2

There was a soft knock on the door before Alex came into the children's room to join Olivia and Allie. She smiled at the small girl as she came over and sat on one of the chairs. "Hello." She said softly. "I'm Alexandra."

Allie looked at Alex for a moment, then up at Olivia and then back at Alex. "That's a pretty name. Are you a police officer too?"

Alex smiled. "Thank you. Allison's a pretty name too. And no I'm not a police officer, I'm the ADA who works with Olivia and the others."

Allie blushed a little bit. "Thank you." She replied before asking, "What's an ADA?" Then she bit her lip before asking, "Do you know if my Bubbe's ok?"

"An ADA is a lawyer who helps the police put people in jail who have done really bad things." Alex paused and looked at Olivia before adding. "The doctors are still taking good care of your grandmother. As soon as your allowed I'm sure the people your going to be staying with will take you to see her."

Fear welled in Allie's bright blue eyes. "People?"

Olivia put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "It'll be alright, Allie. You need to stay with someone while your Bubbe's in the hospital."

The little girl looked disappointed. "Oh. Ok." She replied as she finally handed Olivia back her shield. She'd been hoping that she could have stayed with Olivia, but Olivia was a busy police officer.

"Don't worry, Allie." Alex said when she'd noticed the look on the girl's face. "You'll be seeing Olivia again."

Allie looked up at Alex and smiled a little. "Really?" Then she looked over at Olivia who looked surprised but nodded. "Promise?" Allie asked.

Olivia looked over at Alex and then back down at the little girl. "Promise."

The three of them sat there for a few more moments. The two women were trying their best to get the little girl to relax. Finally Olivia took Allie's little hand in her own and walked her out into the squad room so they could wait on child services. She picked Allie up and sat her on her desk and then sat beside her. Alex sat in Olivia's chair and simply watched her lover with the little girl.

Several minutes later a tall redhead walked into the squad room and up to Olivia's desk. Both Olivia and Alex were quick to get to their feet as the woman approached.

"Detective Benson?" The woman asked.

Olivia stepped forward. "Yes?"

The woman offered her hand. "Anne Harmon from Child Services." She shook Olivia's hand and then looked down at the girl who'd slid off the desk as well. "And this must be Allison Newman?"

Allie hid behind Alex.

Alex was caught of guard by the little girl who was now standing behind her clinging to her skirt. "It's ok, Allie." Alex said over her shoulder. "Ms. Harmon is the one who's going to take you to the family you'll be staying with."

"Actually," Harmon interrupted, "she'll be staying at St. Brigit's."

Olivia looked at the woman with narrow eyes. "You couldn't find her a family to stay with?"

"We'll work on that as soon as we're clear on how long the child will be in the system." Harmon replied. "We don't know the prognosis on the grandmother or if there are other family members. I assume your working on finding out those facts? So until then she'll be find in the group home."

"But she's Jewish." Alex told the woman.

Allie tugged on Alex's skirt. "Half." She corrected the blonde. "Nana Dette was a Shikse remember."

"See." Harmon replied. "She'll be fine at St. Brigit's." Reaching around Alex the woman took hold of Allie's shoulder and pulled her out from behind the blonde. "Come along Allison. We've got to be going now and the detectives have a lot of work to do."

Allie looked up at Alex as she was being pulled away, and then she looked up at Olivia. "Detective 'livia.. Can you tell my Bubbe something for me?"

Olivia knelt down and smiled at the girl. "Of course sweetie."

Allie whispered something in Olivia's ear and then hugged the woman before going with Harmon who was all but dragging the girl out of the room. When Olivia finally stood up and turned around she noticed Alex was dialing the phone. "Who are you calling?"

"Serena." Alex replied. "That little girl's gonna need someone to watch her back and I don't trust that Harmon woman to do it."

Olivia nodded. "Good."

"What did she want you to tell her grandmother?" Alex asked as she waited for Serena to pick up the phone."

Olivia looked over her shoulder at the door the little girl had just walked out of. "She wanted me to make sure that she knew where she was and that she loved her."

Alex watched her lover until Serena Southerlyn's voice came across the line, then she looked down at the file on Olivia's desk that had the information they knew so far about Allison.

"Benson, Stabler." Cragen yelled from his office door. "Fin and Munch need your help canvassing the neighborhood."

"On our way, Cap'n." Elliot replied as he headed for the doors.

Olivia shook her head to clear it and then gave Alex a 'see you later' look before following Elliot out. In no time at all they were back at the scene and asking neighbors about what they saw. One lady on the third floor remembered seeing a young man dressed in monks' robes come into the building behind a young couple who held the door open for him. The young couple said they'd never seen him before, and that they belonged to the local perish which didn't have an order of monks. They also told them that he'd said he was there to see the bereaved loved one of one of his friends.

"Bereaved loved one?" Olivia repeated as she got into the car with Elliot. "Just a line or did he know about Sally's partner's death?"

Elliot started the car and pulled away from the curb. "How long has she been dead?"

Olivia shrugged. "Allie didn't say but it should be easy to find out."

As soon as they got back to the squad room the first thing Olivia noticed was that Alex was gone. Sitting at her desk she looked for a note which she found under her coffee mug. -Serena's agreed to be Allie's advocate. She'll be ok now. Had to run to court see you at home. A.- She read before slipping the note in her pocket. Then she flipped on her computer and started a search for more information to work with.

When the Captain came out of his office asking for details and updates, Olivia walked over from the printer with an open folder full of prints outs.

"We got descriptions from three sources that matched the kid's." Elliot said.

Fin nodded. "Munch and I went and rechecked with the people around the first three attacks. Got four more IDs of a short haired blonde monk."

"Why didn't anyone bring up this monk before?" Cragen asked.

"No one saw him directly with the victims." Munch answered.

Cragen looked up at the dry erase board with the pictures of the previous victims. "Kali Steven's was only able to tell us that she remembered something scratchy rubbing against her stomach."

"The wool monk's robe." Fin called out.

"And Darcy Little said he smelled like incense." The Captain went on. "Angel Rodriguez reported her attacker as being tall and thin but couldn't remember much else. Ok, lets find out what all these women have in common other then what we already know." Turning back to the group he asked. "What else do we know?"

"One of our witnesses said that the "monk" told her and her husband that he was coming to see the bereaved loved one of a friend." Elliot said before Olivia took over.

"Our latest vic, Sally Newman, lost her partner Bernadette Macalister six months ago to ovarian cancer." Olivia looked down at the papers in her hand again. "Bernadette Macalister was a parishioner at Our Lady of Mercy and is buried at Holy Cross."

The Captain nodded. "Munch, Fin, go back and see if you can't find a connection between our vics. Start with Our Lady of Mercy." Turning to Olivia and Elliot he said. "You two head to the church it's self. See if they have any tall blonde monks."

Olivia put the folder on her desk and then headed for the door.

"So what did you find out about the kid?" Elliot asked as they walked.

Olivia stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans as they waited on the elevator. "Mother took off a few weeks after she was born. Father gained sole custody. He was a baker, working at a shop on Broadway, was killed by a drunk driver when she was four. She's been living with her grandmother who has custody ever since."

"Poor kid." Elliot shook his head.

Olivia just nodded her head as she made her way with Elliot to the car. The drive over to the church was a silent one.

Our Lady of Mercy looked just like any other Catholic church Olivia had ever been in, including the ones she went to as a kid. Walking up to the front, Olivia paused while Elliot did the mumbo jumbo that she never bothered to do anymore, and then continued towards the front where they were sure the door to the rectory was.

"May I help you?" A voice called out.

Tuning, Olivia spotted a middle aged, red haired man coming towards them. She and Elliot showed their shields. "Detectives Benson and Stabler, we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Father Brendan Macalister." The priest offered. "What kind of questions?"

Olivia looked over at Elliot who'd looked over at her. They exchanged a look before Olivia turned back to the priest. "I'm sorry did you say Macalister?"

"Aye. Is there a problem Detective?"

A whole new set of questions were popping up in Olivia's head. "By any change are you related to a Bernadette Macalister?"

Father Macalister nodded. "My late sister. We were twins actually. What's this about?"

"Father, did you know that your sister.. I mean were you close?" Elliot asked.

Again Father Macalister nodded. "We were, and if you mean did I know she was a lesbian the answer is again aye, I did." A sudden thought came to the little man and his eyes went wide. "Is this about Sally? Or Allie?"

Again Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances. "I'm sorry Father but Sally was attacked and raped this morning. She's at St. Mary's."

The priest quickly crossed himself in a silent prayer. "And Allie?"

"She's been sent to St. Brigit's." Olivia answered.

The little man was quiet for a moment and then shook his head to clear it. "You were surprised at my name so I'm going to say you didn't come here to ask me if I'm my sister's brother."

Elliot shook his head. "We need to know if your parish has an order of monks."

"We do." Father Macalister answered. "A small order that helps teach at our school." Olivia took out her notebook and started taking a few things down. "Would one of your monks happened to be a young man, rather tall, short blonde hair?"

"Brother Charles. He's just recently come to us from St. Louis." Father Macalister answered. "What does this have to do with Sally's attack?"

"Would it be at all possible for us to have a word with him?" Elliot asked, ignoring the Father's question.

The Father looked at both detectives before finally answering. "He's in class over at the school. I'll have him sent here, you may speak with him in my office." He waved towards the door. "This way."

Olivia and Elliot followed Father Macalister to his office in the rectory and waited. They waited quite a while before Father Macalister came back alone. "I'm sorry Detectives but it would seem that Brother Charles hasn't been seen since Morning mass."

"Would it be alright if we looked around for ourselves?" Olivia asked. She had no issues with questioning the honesty of a priest. She'd seen far to much in her line of work to buy into blind faith.

The Father nodded. "If you'd like."

Over an hour later Olivia and Elliot walked into the squad room.

"Well?" Asked Cragen.

"We might have found out who he is, but not where he is at the moment." Elliot explained. He quickly gave some of the details about Brother Charles Adams that they'd learned from Father Macalister. "He's young, argumentative, very old school."

"Old school?" Cragen asked.

"Ever seen that kids' movie, Hunchback of Notre Dame? This guy rooted for the evil minster Frollo."

Both Olivia and Cragen looked at Elliot as if he'd lost his mind, and then Olivia tried to explain. "Lets just say that he's so plastered to what's sin and what's evil that he'd have major issues with homosexually along with anything else the church says no too."

"So this guys looks good for this?"

Olivia and Elliot both nodded.

"Then lets find this guy and get him in here." Cragen ordered. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was well past midnight when Olivia and Elliot walked into the squad room. They'd been out all night following leads that they hopped would lead them to Charles Adams, but with very little luck. The only thing they were sure of was that he was still in Manhattan.

"What do you know?" Cragen asked as he came out of his office.

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. "Not much about where he is, but Fin and Munch found out that Our Lady of Mercy is the connection between all of the vics. Apparently it's a pretty progressive parish."

"So progressive that the diocese has very little to do with them. Even the school is privately funded and ran." Olivia added. "Fin and Munch have the place staked out. Father Macalister is pretty sure that he'll return to the rectory."

Elliot nodded. "Some of the other brothers said he's done this disappearing act before and always comes back."

Cragen nodded and then offered them a folder of his own. "Now it's my turn to share."

"What are these?" Olivia asked.

"Unsolved, identical, rape cases from St. Louis." The Captain answered.

Olivia rubbed her face and moaned. "This guy's really not going to want to be found."

"To bad for him." Cragen said as he looked at his two detectives. "Because we will get him. We got Fin and Munch out in the field as well as uniforms. You two head home and get some sleep before your respective others have my head."

Both Elliot and Olivia nodded and replied, "Night Cap'n." as they made their way over to their lockers.

"You know he was talking more about your other then my other." Elliot teased.

Olivia smirked. "What are you saying? Alex is more scary then Kathy?"

Elliot thought about it a moment and then nodded. "Hell yeah."

Olivia reached over and slugged him in the arm.

Elliot laughed. "You hit like my sister." He teased again. "Come on I'll give you a ride."

The entry hall of the apartment that Olivia shared with Alex was dark, but there was a soft glow coming from the living room which made Olivia smile. There was a small red lamp on the desk that Alex always left on for Olivia so she wouldn't have to stumble around in the dark on the nights she had to work late.

Olivia's smile grew when she felt something nudging her hand. "Hi Max." She whispered as she knelt down to pet their Golden Retriever mix. Maxim, or just plan Max, had been Olivia's house warming present from Alex after they'd bought and moved into the much bigger apartment. "Is mommy asleep yet?"

"'Alex' is still very much awake thank you." Came a sudden reply.

Looking up, Olivia saw Alex leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom. "Didn't mean to get you up."

Alex smiled as she started towards Olivia and Max. "Max and I were working on the Johansson closing."

Olivia laughed as she stood up. "I think Max is the only dog in New York who knows the penal code better then most lawyers."

"He makes for a great test jury." Alex teased as she wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck. "Hard to read and even harder to win over. He's walked out on me three times during my last summation."

Max barked as if to tell Alex she needed to sharpen her points and not to drag on, causing both women to laugh.

"Leave it to you to find a dog with an option and then voices it." Olivia chuckled as she and Alex sank onto the couch. It felt wonderful to be able to come home to her and to step away from the madness of work, even if it were only for a few moments.

Alex pulled Olivia back so the brunette was leaning against her. "Your tense as hell, Liv."

"Sorry." Olivia muttered with her eyes closed.

Alex slapped Olivia's jean clad thigh lightly. "No need to be sorry for anything, Liv. I know this case is hell on you, it's not setting right with me either. I mean these women are being attacked because they live their lives the way we do."

Olivia nodded. "I think that's what scaring me the most. The idea of you being attacked because of me."

"Liv." Alex replied softly. Even after two years of being back from the WPP, Alex knew that Olivia was terrified of losing her again. Alex sat there combing her fingers through Olivia's dark hair until she felt her lover nearly falling asleep.

"Liv?"

"Hmmm." Came her lover's muffled reply.

"Did you eat anything today?" Alex asked.

Olivia was quiet for a moment and then shrugged. "Don't remember."

Alex sighed and smacked Olivia's thigh again. "Liv, you gotta take better care of yourself when your on one of these cases." Pushing Olivia gently off of her, Alex added. "Go take a shower while I make you something light to eat."

"I'd rather just go to bed." Olivia smirked.

Alex swatted her lover's bottom and pointed towards their bedroom. "Don't make me call my mother. You know she warned you that she'd come here and take care of you herself if you let yourself get run down like you did the last time you pulled this with a case."

Olivia held up her hands. "Ok ok I give." She stole a quick kiss and then went in to shower. A short time later she was sitting in the kitchen with Alex, a tuna sandwich, and a glass of apple juice.

"So what did you find out about Allie? Any family she can go to until her grandmother recovers?" Alex asked from her perch on the kitchen counter.

"She kinda has an uncle." Olivia answer between bites.

Alex blinked. "Kinda?"

"Sally's partner had a twin brother who's a priest."

Alex's mind jumped right to the obvious. "He's not..."

Olivia shook her head. "No, but our guy's part of his parish. Teaches math at the school."

A slight frown tugged on Alex's lips. "He's not a blood relative and besides that he's a priest. He doesn't seem to be a candidate for taking her."

Picking up her empty plate and cup and carrying them to the sink, Olivia sighed as she shook her head. "He seemed to care about both of them, but no he's not."

Taking Olivia's hand and leading her tired lover towards their bedroom Alex said, "I'm sure Ms. Harmon, with Serena's help of course, will find a good place for her."

"Lets not jump the gun here, Alex." Olivia replied as they got ready for bed. "Sally Newman's still very much alive and shows good signs of pulling through. Or at least the doctors are hoping so."

Alex climbed in next to Olivia once they'd cleared her briefcase and case folders off the bed. "I hope so, Liv, for Allie's sake."

The early morning sun was just starting to peek through the bedroom windows when Olivia's cell started to ring. She tried to untangle herself from Alex's arms without waking the blonde as she reached for the silver device on her nightstand. 

"Benson."

"Hope you got some sleep last night, Liv." Came Cragen's voice. "Cause Munch and Fin just brought in our blonde haired monk."

Olivia was already working her way out of bed. "I'll be there in twenty."

"Liv?" Alex asked after Olivia snapped her phone shut.

"The boys brought in our perp." She replied as she walked over to Alex's side of the bed and kissed her lightly. "I'll see you when you come in sweetheart, go back to sleep."

The blankets were suddenly cast aside. "Not a chance. I'm watching this one."

No one in the squad room was surprised to see Olivia and Alex walk in together. Nor were they surprised to see the anger in Olivia's chocolate eyes. Both women walked into Cragen's office and looked through the window at the man sitting in the interrogation room.

"Has anyone talked to him yet?" Olivia asked.

Cragen shook his head. "We've been waiting for you."

"Has he lawyered up?" Alex asked.

Again the Captain shook his head.

Olivia looked over at Elliot and smirked. "Ready?"

Elliot nodded and then followed Olivia into the room.

"Could someone please tell me what I'm doing here?" The blonde man in the brown monk's robe asked.

"Sure we can do that." Elliot replied as he picked up a folder and opened it. "You wanna tell us where you were yesterday between nine and eleven a.m.?"

Brother Charles looked at Elliot a moment before answering, "In my classroom teaching mathematics at Our Lady of Mercy."

"Now that would almost be believable if we hadn't been at Our Lady of Mercy yesterday." Olivia piped in as she moved closer to the table. "See we already know that you weren't in your classroom at all that yesterday. We also know that you hadn't been seen at all since the morning mass which is at eight. So.. Wanna try that answer again?"

"I was sitting with a friend who'd recently lost a loved one." He replied after staring at Olivia a moment.

Elliot sat in the chair across from Charles, still looking through the folder. "This friend have a name and phone number so we can clarify this?"

"What happens between a parishioner and clergy is private, Detective." Charles replied. "So now will you tell me why I was brought in here by those other two detectives. Am I under arrest for something?"

Very slowly Elliot began to lay out photos of the beaten victims. "No your not under arrest. We simply need to ask you a few questions. We're kinda hoping you could help us out, but your welcome to walk out that door any time you want." Elliot paused before asking, "So, do you know these women?"

It was the slightest of changes in his facial structure, a gesture that would have gone unnoticed to most, but not to two detectives with as much experience as Elliot and Olivia. In that fraction of a moment as the perp looked down at the photos they could both see a mixture of satisfaction, pleasure, and disgust.

"Do you know any of these women?" Olivia repeated. She could feel her anger bubbling in her stomach, and she knew that if she wasn't careful Cragen would be stepping in and asking her to take a chill up in the Crib while he sent Fin in to help Elliot. She adored Fin and respected him a great deal, but she wanted this one for herself.

Brother Charles looked over the pictures, even picking up the one of Sally Newman. "I think I've seen them at masses." He looked up at Olivia. "What happened to them?"

"They were raped," She said bluntly. "and beaten."

Brother Charles crossed himself in a silent prayer. "Are they alright?"

Olivia pointed at the picture that he was holding. "That one's still unconscious. She was beaten more severally then the others."

"She's in the hospital fighting for her life while her granddaughter, who she was rising, is living in a group home because she was the only family the little girl had." Elliot added.

Brother Charles looked at the photo for a long time. "Perhaps it is the Lord's wish for the girl to be place in a proper home."

There it was. The foot in the door that Olivia needed. "A proper home?"

The monk nodded. "A proper Catholic home with a mother and a father and respect for the Church."

"Lots of good Catholic children are raised by their grandparents." Olivia pressed.

"Yes that is true." Charles replied as he looked up at Olivia. "But this child wasn't being raised by a good woman."

Olivia leaned down a little so she could look deeper into this man's green eyes. "Why wasn't she?"

"Because she was a heathen and an abomination. They were all abominations." Charles answered with a fire burning in his eyes.

"What made them abominations and Sally Newman a heathen?" There was a matched fire in her dark brown eyes as her hands curled around the table's edge, her knuckles turning white.

Brother Charles looked away from Olivia's heated glare, and focused on the pictures once more. "They were breaking God's heart."

"How?"

"By being homosexuals. This one was even worse," He pointed to Sally's picture which he'd laid down. "because she was a Jew. She had no bushiness in the Church, none of them did."

"So you decided to teach them a lesson?" Elliot jumped in.

Before Charles could catch himself he was looking at Elliot and answering, "Yes."

"How?"

"By punishing them and showing them the right way." Charles replied.

"You beat them as punishment and raped them to show them all about sex with a man?" Olivia nearly hissed the statement.

Charles looked up at her. "If the police would have done their jobs and looked them away for being the deviants they are, I wouldn't have had to."

On the other side of the glass two pools of icy blue fire stared at the man her two detectives were grilling. Alex felt so much rage that she felt ill. "That's it. That's all I need. Book him, I want him in arraignment this afternoon."

Cragen tapped on the glass three times.

Olivia reached for her handcuffs as she moved around to the back or Brother Charles. "Charles Adams your under arrest for the rapes and assaults of Kali Steven, Darcy Little, Angel Rodriguez, and Sally Newman." Olivia jerked the blonde man out of his chair roughly, pushing him into the table and cuffing him while reading him his Miranda rights.

After taking Charles down to booking, Olivia and Elliot came back upstairs to start their paperwork. Olivia's heart was still pounding in her ears from her anger, but she managed to keep her temper in check.

"Man it's nuts like that that give the rest of us such hateful reputations." Elliot moaned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's people like that that made me leave it all behind in the first place." Olivia replied as she pulled a stack of forms out of her desk, placing them in front of herself, and then leaning back in her chair.

Elliot watched his partner for a few moments before asking, "You ok, Liv?"

Olivia shook her head. "Not really, but I will be."

Sometime after lunch, while Olivia was sitting in Alex's office venting, her cell phone rang. Groaning, she gave Alex an apologetic look before answering. "Benson."

"It's Serena." Replied the voice on the other end. "Do you got a few minutes?"

"It depends." Olivia replied. "What do you need them for?"

"Tell Cabot to stop glaring at you for taking a call while your "at lunch" and both of you get down to St. Brigit's."

Olivia blinked. "What's wrong?"

"Allie's not adjusting so well. She hasn't eaten or slept since they brought her here. She keeps asking about her grandmother and you."

Olivia looked surprised. "Me?"

"And your pretty blonde friend Alexandra." Serena replied.

Olivia could almost hear the smile in Serena's voice. "Alex has to be in court in an hour but I'll ask. I'll be there in ten."

"What's up?" Alex asked as soon as Olivia flipped closed her phone.

"Do you think you could make a quick run with me over to St. Brigit's?"

Alex stood up and grabbed her purse. "What's wrong with Allie?"

Olivia smiled as she followed her lover to the door. She explained as they headed for Alex's car what Serena had told her. The same look of surprise colored Alex's face as she looked at Olivia over the top of her little red conversable.

"She asked for both of us?" Alex asked once they were on their way.

Olivia nodded.

Alex blinked. "Why?"

"We made her feel safe after her grandmother's attack and maybe there's a bit of comfort in the familiar there as well."

"Comfort in the familiar?" Alex asked before it dawned on her. "Oh. But Liv it's not like we walked in and introduced ourselves as domestic partners."

Olivia shrugged. "Kids sense things."

Alex laughed. "So your telling me kids have Gaydar?"

"Maybe." Olivia replied with a soft laugh. It had been the first time she'd laughed since this case started and it felt nice.

A few moments later the little red car pulled into a parking space just down the block from the group home. The sounds of children playing on the playground filled their ears long before they actually reached the building. Alex glanced at Olivia and smiled at the light in her lover's dark eyes. Despite all her lover's protests against having her own, Alex knew how much Olivia adored children.

Serena met them at the door and quickly lead them into the common room. "She won't eat, hasn't slept, but she's been nothing but respectful and polite. She doesn't even cry in front of anyone, but you can tell she has been. Harmon wants to move her into a home where 'they will see to it she is feed and cared for'. so we gotta get her to eat and stuff here. St. Brigit's might be a group home but it's one of the best."

Allie was sitting at a small table coloring in a coloring book when she suddenly looked up. "Hi Ms. Serena!" She got up and made her way over to the blonde, that's when she saw who was with her. "Detective 'livia! Ms. Alexandra!"

Both women smiled but it was Alex who spoke up. "Ya know Allie you can call us Olivia and Alex if you'd like."

Allie smiled. "Is that what your friends get to call you?" Alex nodded and Allie's face it up. "Oh thank you.. I will." Then just as suddenly as her small face had lit up, a dark shadow passed over it. "How's Bubbe? No one will tell my cept Ms. Serena and she wasn't sure this morning."

Olivia took the girl's hand and lead her over to a couch. "The doctors said that she's recovering, but she's still asleep." "Is she gonna get better 'livia?" Allie asked.

"The doctors think she will, Allie."

Looking over at Alex, who'd joined them on the couch she asked. "Can I go see her?"

"Tell ya what," Alex replied, "if you promise to eat you lunch, and your dinner tonight and get some sleep then Olivia and I will pick you up in the morning and we'll go have breakfast together and then we'll go and see your grandmother.. Ok?"

Allie thought about it. "I'm not really hungry Alex, but I'll try."

Serena watched her friends from a distance as they talked to the little girl, and she paid close attention to how the little girl's whole spirit seemed to lift at the sight of the hard-assed ADA and the gruff detective. A smile lit up her face as her mind started to churned.

"That's a very pretty necklace, Allie." Alex said as she picked up the tiny kitty pendant.

Allie smiled. "Nana Dette gave it to me cause I like kitties."

"I like them too." Alex smiled.

"Do you like kitties 'livia?" Allie asked. Olivia nodded. "Do you have one? We use too but we had to give it away when Nana Dette got sick."

Olivia frowned a little but quickly put her smile back into place. "No we don't have a kitty, we do have a dog named Max though."

Allie smiled and giggled. "I knew you two was a we."

Alex and Olivia looked each other and laughed.

The three of them talked for a little while longer before Alex said she had to get back for court. "Are you coming?" She asked Olivia while they waited for Allie to bring Alex something she had for her.

Olivia shook her head. "I'm going to stick around and have lunch with her before I head back to the precinct, so I'll see you at home?"

Alex smiled and crunched her nose, which was her way of giving Olivia a kiss when they couldn't really kiss. "Call me when you get back to squad room."

"Yes Boss." Olivia replied with a chuckle.

Alex was about to scold her lover when Allie ran up and handed her a picture.

"I didn't know what you liked so I drawed you some flowers."

Alex crouched down to the girl's level as she looked at the picture. "It's very pretty, Allie, that you."

Allie beamed. "I had to ask Sister Kate how to spell your name. It's really long."

"Yes it is." Alex replied with a laugh. "Which is why I most people call me just Alex."

After giving the girl a quick hug Alex headed back to the court house. Olivia stayed behind to have lunch with Allie. And Serena went to work on her idea. She knew a good thing when she saw it. 


	4. Chapter 4

There was a light rain falling on the city as Alex and Olivia made their way to St. Brigit's. Alex was driving a little more slowly then she normally did because of the slick roads, which allowed Olivia to relax. She was just about to tease Alex about her driving when her cell phone began to ring.

"I swear the day you retire that damn thing's going into the Hudson." Alex mumbled.

Olivia bit back her laugh as she filled open the phone. "Benson."

"Hey it's me. Can you meet me over at St. Mary's?" Elliot's voice asked.

Olivia looked over at Alex and bit her lip. "We were going to head there after breakfast, what's up?"

"Sally Newman woke up this morning."

Relief washed over Olivia's face. "Sure I'll meet you there."

"What's up?" Alex asked as she turned the corner.

"Allie's grandmother woke up. Elliot and I need to get her statement."

Alex wasn't sure weather to be thrilled or disappointed.

Catching the look in her lover's eyes Olivia smiled softly. "After you drop me off why don't you go ahead and pick up Allie. I'm sure Sally's gonna wanna see her granddaughter."

At the red-light, Alex turned to look at Olivia. "Are you nuts? You want me to take her out to breakfast alone? Liv, I can't keep a kid entertained through a whole meal alone."

Olivia put her hand on Alex's knee when the blonde started driving again. "Your great with kids, Alex." She offered her lover a reassuring smile. "Besides, Allie really likes you."

"I don't know, Liv." Alex replied as she pulled up to the entrance of St. Mary's. "Do you know how much damage I could do to a kid in an hour?"

Olivia looked right into Alex's eyes as she reached for the car door. "Do you know how much damage you could heal in an hour?"

After watching Alex pull away Olivia went into the hospital and up to Sally Newman's room. Elliot was already at the nurses' station waiting for her. "How is she?" Olivia asked her partner as she walked up to him.

"Waking up is a good sign but she's still banged up pretty bad." Elliot replied as they headed for the woman's room. "Her doctor says that she'll recover but it will take time."

Olivia nodded just before tapping on the door and walking into the room. "Ms. Newman? I'm Detective Olivia Benson and this is my partner Elliot Stabler."

The elderly woman turned her head just a little so she could look at her visitors. "Where's my granddaughter? Is Allison alright?"

"Allie's fine, Ma'am. She's at St. Brigit's until we can find a place for her to stay until your better. Is there someone we can call for her?"

Sally shook her head. "Her father died when she was little. Her mother ran off. We don't have any other family."

Olivia nodded her head. She knew that already but she had hoped for a friend or something. "Our ADA will be bringing her by later. She'd like to see you." When the older woman didn't reply Olivia went on. "Ms. Newman can you tell us what happened?"

"I was picking up the living room while Allie was sleeping. There was a knock on my door. I was surprised to see him. I didn't even think twice about letting him in. He never seemed to be anything but a sweet boy."

"Who, Ms. Newman."

"Charles." Sally replied. "He's a brother over at Bea's brother's church."

Olivia took down a few notes before telling her, "We've arrested him, Ms. Newman. We had a good case but with your ID it just got better."

Alex was able to pull up closer to St. Brigit's then she had been the day before, which she was grateful for since the rain was coming down a little harder now. After grabbing the umbrella from the back seat she got out of the car and headed up the steps to the front door. But before Alex had the chance to reach for the door handle the large wooden door flung open.

"Alex!"

"Well hello." Alex replied with a smile as she managed to catch the small flying girl who now had her tiny arms wrapped around her waist. "I take it your ready to go?"

Allie looked up and nodded with a smile.

"Allison come back here. It's raining out side and you'll get your dress all wet." Came a kind yet firm voice. "Oh for Pete's sake child allow Ms. Cabot to come in out of the rain."

Allie took hold of Alex's hand and lead her into the foyer of the home. "Sorry Sister Kate." She replied to the nun who was coming towards them.

The nun, who didn't look much older then Alex, smiled. "We normally don't allow such outings, Ms. Cabot, but Ms. Sutherland explain the situation to me."

Alex smiled. "Thank you, Sister. I know Allie's really been worried about her grandmother." "How is she doing?" Sister Kate asked.

Alex smiled again and looked down at Allie when she answered. "She woke up this morning. Olivia's over there right now talking to her."

Allie's eyes lit up as she hugged Alex tightly. "Oh thank you thank you."

"So did you keep your part of the deal?" Alex asked once Allie let her go.

Allie nodded. "I sure did. I had lunch with 'livia and dinner with the other girls and then I went to bed and sleeped until nine o'clock! Didn't I Sister Kate?"

Sister Kate laughed. "That you did child, that you did."

After signing Allie out, Alex buckled her into the back seat, and then asked her what she'd like to have for breakfast. Her reply made Alex laugh. "Chocolate chip pancakes, huh? Those are Olivia's favorite too."

"Do you and 'livia have any kids?" Allie asked as she looked around at the very clean and tidy car. Not a cheerio or crayon or crumb in sight, nope clearly no kids.

The question caught Alex off guard which nearly made her laugh. She'd been stunned into silence by a seven year old. After finding her voice she replied, "No, we don't have any children of our own."

Allie frowned. "Why not? I think you and 'livia would be good mommies."

Alex blushed. "You do huh?"

"Yeap." Allie answered as she watched Alex pull up in front of a really pretty place. "I don't know much about mommies, but I still think you two would be really good ones."

"Well thank you very much sweetie." Alex replied with a smile but also with a touch of sadness in her eyes. She wondered why Allie's mother had left her. All Olivia had told her was that she'd left mere weeks after Allie's birth. "You have your Bubbe and I bet that's just as good as a mommy."

Allie shook her head as Alex helped her out of the car. "Bubbe's a great bubbe, and Nana Dette was a great nana, but they're not mommies they grandmas." She paused a moment as she took hold of Alex's hand. "They're just different."

After they were seated and their drink orders taken, Alex couldn't help herself. "Do you know what happen to your mommy, Allie?"

"I made her sick in her head so she had to leave." Allie answered. "Daddy and I lived in a building close to Bubbe and Nana Dette's but then Daddy was taken by the Angels."

It didn't take long for Alex to figure out what Allie meant. Her mother must have had a major case of postpartum depression. It was Alex's job that made her think, Thank god she only walked away.

When their meals came, Alex couldn't help but smile at the way Allie's eyes lit up at the sight of hers.

"I've never had a chocolate chip pancake with a whipped cream smiley face before." She picked up her folk and giggle. "It's almost to cute to eat."

As they ate their breakfasts the two talked about Allie's school, and her friends, and how she use to go to mass with Nana Dette and temple with Bubbe. She told Alex all about the kitten she had, and about how she liked to draw and color and paint. Then she talked about not knowing what she wanted to be when she grew up, but that she wanted to do something that mattered. Then she started asking Alex questions about her job, and her friends, and about Olivia and their dog.

"Alex, can we bring Olivia some pancakes since she missed breakfast?"

Alex smiled and nodded her head. "Sure we can, sweetie."

Allie beamed as she looked up at the waitress and ordered chocolate chip pancakes for Olivia. "Oh and don't forget the smiley face."

After leaving the restaurant Alex drove over to the hospital. She called Olivia just before they pulled into the parking lot so she could meet them at the entrance.

Allie carried the white foam take out box very carefully as she and Alex stepped into the main lobby of the hospital. A bright smile lit up her small face when she saw Olivia waiting for them. "We brought you breakfast."

Olivia returned the bright smile as she took the little girl's offering. "Thanks, what is it?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes. Alex said they were your favorite too."

"She was right." Olivia replied as she walked Allie and Alex over to a couple of chairs. Once they were all sitting down Olivia looked over at Alex before looking down at Allie. Both women thought it would be a good idea to explain some things before taking Allie up to see her grandmother. "Allie, you grandmother woke up this morning."

Allie nodded. "Alex told me. Is she ok?"

"Well, the doctor said that now that she's awake she should be fine." Olivia began. "But sweetie, I think you should know that she kinda looks really bad."

Allie frown. "Bad how?"

"Well," Olivia looked up at Alex for a little support and then once again down at Allie. "Her face is bruised, there's a bandage over her eye cause she had a pretty bad cut there, she has to lay down cause her ribs got hurt, and there's a couple of machines with wires that are keeping track of her heart and stuff, and she has some IVs."

The little girl's face and eyes lost all their brightness and light. "Nana Dette was on the beeping machine too, and she had IVs." She replied with a trace of sadness and a lot of fear in her voice. Then the girl got quiet.

"Allie?" Alex asked as she put her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Are you ok sweetie?"

Allie didn't reply right away but when she did she nodded. "Yes I'm ok. I can be a big girl. I promise."

Alex looked over at Olivia and the two seemed to share a quick non-verbal conversation.

"Sweetie," Olivia said softly as she tucked a stray strand of light brown hair behind the girl's ear, "all you have to do is tell us if your not ok and we can step outside of your Bubbe's room. I'm sure she'd understand."

"No, it's ok. I want to see her and tell her I'm ok so she can think only about getting better." Allie replied as she took a deep breath and then stood up. "Can we go see her now?"

Olivia nodded as she and Alex got up, and then took the little girl's hand.

Alex walked on the other side of the girl and watched as the little one steeled herself for what she was about to see. For a moment she couldn't help but think the little girl with her dark hair and kind face, reminded her of Olivia.

The three of then paused outside of Sally Newman's door a moment before Olivia knocked softly and opened the door.

"Bubbe!" As soon as Olivia let go of her hand, Allie went over to her grandmother's bed and climbed up into the chair next to it. Leaning over she hugged the woman gently.

There were tears in Sally's eyes as she held her granddaughter.

Alex and Olivia slipped into the corner of the room and tried really hard to blend into the wall.

"Oh Bubbe I was so scared." Allie cried into her grandmother's embrace.

Sally held the child. "Shh, Shaifeleh, I'm fine now."

"But that man hurt you, Bubbe." Allie looked up and into her grandmother's crystal blue eyes.

"Yes, but the police have him in jail now, Shaifeleh. He can't hurt me again, or you." Sally patted her granddaughter's back with the hand that didn't have an IV in it.

Allie sat up suddenly and looked over at Alex and Olivia before looking at her grandmother. "'livia got him and Alex is gonna put him away forever." She looked over at the two women. "Right?"

Both women were caught off guard. "Right." Alex finally answered.

"You must be the ADA Detective Benson mentioned." Sally said as she looked at Alex.

Alex nodded. "Alexandra Cabot, Ma'am."

"That's Alex and 'livia, Bubbe. They're my friends." Allie beamed as she hopped down, grabbed both women by the hands, and lead them closer. "'livia found me in the closet, and she and Alex waited with me till Ms. Harmon came and took me to St. Brigit's. Then they came to see me and Alex took me to have chocolate chip pancakes, and she'll take be back to St. Brigit's. It's nice there, Sister Kate is nice, but I don't wanna stay there a long time. When can you come home?"

Alex and Olivia's heads was spinning at the girl's breathless phrase, but Sally was use to it. "I don't know Shaifeleh."

Allie frowned.

Sally patted the girl's hand. "I'm sorry, Shaifeleh."

Allie shook her head and tried to smile. "It's ok, Bubbe. I promise I'll be a good girl. I like Sister Kate."

Sally looked over at Olivia and Alex. "Is she in a good place?"

Alex nodded. "St. Brigit's is a wonderful place and the social worker and Allie's advocate are going to place her in a temporary home as soon as they can."

"Advocate?"

Allie nodded. "Ms. Serena! She's cool! She's a friend of Alex and 'livia's. She's gonna make sure it's all about me. She said so."

"Ahh." Sally replied with a bit of relief. "Thank you both for making sure she is well looked after."

"Your very welcome, Ma'am." Olivia replied. "Allie's a great kid."

The four of them spent a little more time together before Sally's nurse came in and said that she needed to go for a test, and Alex said that they really needed to get Allie back. Allie kissed and hugged her grandmother and gave her the picture of the rainbow over the park she'd drawn for her.

In the car, Olivia looked over her shoulder at the girl in the back seat. "You ok, Allie?"

Allie was looking out the window watching it rain. "Yes. I'm ok."

"Ya know maybe Alex and me can come over tonight and see how you are." Olivia said softly. "Would that be ok?"

Finally turning her head to look at Olivia, there was a bit of that brightness and light back in her small face. "We're gonna watch a movie tonight. Sister Kate said we could. Can you come watch?"

Olivia looked over at Alex who nodded. "We'll be there."

Allie smiled brightly, suddenly feeling a little bit better. 


	5. Chapter 5

"I can't believe they're going with an insanity plea." Casey moaned as she handed Alex another dish.

Alex nodded as she washed the eggplant off the dishes that Casey was handing her. "They're trying to say that he was programmed by the teachings at the school he went to in St. Louis."

Casey groaned. "That's utter bullshit. They're trying to put that whole school on trail rather then the nut job monk who did the crimes."

Again Alex nodded. She'd been ready to deal with yet another diocese lawyer, but Charles Adams had opted to get his own, one who was trying to not only put the school Charles had attended on trail but the very doctrine the man was using as his excuse.

"Come on, Cabot." Came a voice from the living room. "The dishes can wait. Tell her Olivia, the dishes can wait."

"The dishes can wait." Olivia replied with a chuckle.

The voice groaned. "Your a lot of help there, Benson." Stepping into the kitchen Serena put her hands on her hips. "Will you two come on already. You know the rule. No work allowed. So whatever case your talking about, not it off and come on."

Casey laughed as she walked over and kissed Serena lightly. "Isn't work why you want Alex and Olivia's attention so badly tonight, Reenie?"

Serena sighed. "That's different." She grabbed Casey by the hand and lead her out into the living room while calling over her shoulder. "Come on Cabot!"

"Ok ok." Alex replied as she followed them in and sat down next to Olivia on the couch. "What's so important anyway?"

Serena smiled as she pulled two folders out of her bag and handed one each to Alex and Olivia.

"What are these?" Olivia asked as she glared at her last name on the tab of the folder.

"Everything you need to become Allie's foster parents." Serena beamed.

Both Alex and Olivia looked up and replied in unison. "What?"

Casey laughed and held out her hand. "You owe me fifty bucks, Reenie."

Serena slapped her partner's hand away. "You can collect later, Red." Then she looked at their friends again. "Don't give me that what bullshit. You two know damn well that your the perfect ones to take her in."

Olivia blinked. "Serena, we don't know anything about taking care of a child full time."

"Oh come on!" Serena protested. "You two can't be serious? You are serious. You don't see it."

"See what?" Alex asked as she put her glasses on and then looked over the paperwork in her folder.

"Exhibit one, one if not both of you have stopped at St. Brigit's at some point in the day since the first day she was there. Exhibit two, one if not both of you call her every night only to call Sister Kate the next morning to see how she is. Exhibit three, for the past week and a half one if not both of you have spent your lunch hours at the hospital with her and her grandmother." Serena ticked each point off on her fingers.

Olivia shook her head. "We're just making sure she doesn't feel alone, giving her someone to talk too."

"You guys are doing everything but the day to day stuff." Casey added. "She needs to be in a 'home', not a home."

Alex nodded as she took her glasses off. "In a 'home' where the person or people know what their doing, Case. We're just getting use to taking care of Max!"

Serena sighed. "God you two are as thick as the pollution in the Hudson. That little girl, for some godforsaken reason, adores the two of you, and you both know that you adore her. No parent gets a handbook, you learn as you go. Plus it's only until Sally's back on her feet."

"We know it's a lot to ask." Casey said as she put a hand on Serena's knee. "To take her in, care for her, then give her up again."

Olivia shook her head. "It's not that Case."

Casey thought back a few years to that night in the bar when Olivia told her about her and her own mother. "Your not Serena, Olivia, not even a little, and your sure as hell not your father."

Serena nodded and then looked at Alex. "And this is so not like the Cavanaugh case or any of the other cases you blame yourself for."

Olivia and Alex just blinked. How the hell did they end up knowing them so well?

"Ok look. You don't have to agree this minute. At least think it over." Serena said as she looked at each of them.

They looked at each other before Alex finally nodded.

Serena smiled. "Good. Now someone get the damn trivial pursuit out so Case and I can kick your asses."

Alex rolled her eyes as Olivia got up to get the game. Looking pointedly at Serena she asked, "Tell me again why we don't do this dinner and game thing with Elliot and Kathy instead?"

"Cause Elliot does that stupid little dance when they kick our asses." Olivia replied as she pulled the game out, bringing it over to the coffee table.

As soon as Serena and Casey were gone, Alex and Olivia stared cleaning up. Neither one of them seemed very talkative, they were both actually lost in their own thoughts. When she was finished with the dishes Alex walked out into the living room, pausing a moment to watch Olivia putting the game away and picking up empty cans. "Ya know they were right."

Olivia looked up as she put a couple more cans into a trash bad. "I don't care what Serena said, I'm not growing my hair out."

Alex rolled her eyes as she walked over and took Olivia by the hand, pulling her over to the couch, and sitting them both down. "Not about that, about Allie."

"I know." Olivia said quietly as she looked into her lover's stunning blue eyes.

"Then why did we dismiss the idea so quickly?" Alex asked.

Olivia looked at the two folders which sat on their coffee table. "Same reason that after all this time together neither one of us has ever brought up the subject of kids." Olivia paused long enough to pull Alex against her. "We both have a lot of baggage in our pasts that makes us leery of subjecting ourselves on an innocent child."

"We're both scared to death of the idea." Alex replied as she snuggled into her lover's embrace.

Olivia laughed. "Isn't that what I just said?" Alex's reply was to bop Olivia in the face with a pillow. "Hey!" Olivia responded as she started to tickle Alex.

After the tickle fight was over, won of course by Alex who mercilessly went after that spot on Olivia that only she knew about, the two settled back into their snuggled position. "What scares you the most?" Alex asked.

"That despite my best efforts I'd end up being just like my mother." Olivia admitted.

Alex laced her fingers with Olivia's as she leaned her head back against the slightly older woman's chest. "Your mother was sick, Liv. There's no way you could end up being like her because your not an alcoholic. I think you'd learn from the mistakes that your mother made and that that would intern make you a great mom."

Olivia hugged Alex before asking, "What are you most scared of?"

"Failing." Alex admitted.

Again Olivia hugged her tightly. "You've never failed when it went it really mattered, Alex. You've made mistakes, we all have, but I wouldn't call those failures."

A comfortable silence fell over the two as they sat on the couch, looking out the window behind it. They were both lost in their own thoughts again, each fighting their inner battles. Finally Olivia broke the stillness. "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you, have you, ever wanted kids?"

Alex was quiet for a few moments before finally answering, "Yeah, but I pushed that thought out of my mind when my career started to pick up. Then while I was in protection, I'd thought about taking Miguel, but I couldn't see putting him or any other child in that much danger. Besides, by then, you were the only one I could see myself even talking about the idea with." Alex paused long enough to allow Olivia to think about what she'd said before she asked. "Have you ever wanted them?"

"Not until recently." Olivia replied.

Alex turned to look at her. "How recently?"

Olivia blushed a little. "When I saw you with Allie."

"Olivia," Alex replied with a smile. "I think we should really think this over."

Olivia nodded. "I think so too." 


	6. Chapter 6

Alex sat at the prosecution table watching as the bailiff walked the folded white piece of paper over to Judge Petrovsky, who read it and then handed it back. The bailiff then walked the piece of paper back over to the jury foremen.

"Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, have you reached a verdict?" Petrovsky asked.

The tall black man who was standing up with the white paper in his hand nodded. "Yes your honor we have." He paused, looked down at the paper and then continued, "We the jury find the defiant, Charles Adams, guilty on all charges."

A wave of relief washed over Alex's face as the Judge thanked and dismissed the jury. They'd nailed him and now he would be locked away for quite a long time. She watched, expressionless, while Petrovsky spoke to the now convicted monk, and then Alex nearly sprung out of her chair once the final bang of the gavel filled the courtroom.

Turning, Alex quickly scanned the room for Olivia before having to turn once again to shake hands with the defense attorney.

"We'll appeal this." The man said after taking his hand back. Alex smiled just a little. "And we'll win it again."

Once the little man had left, Alex shoved her things into her briefcase and smiled fully at the sight of Olivia and Elliot waiting for her by the door.

"Nice work, Cabot." Elliot offered as he and his partner got ready to usher the blonde ADA out through the horde of media.

"Thanks El."

Once outside the courtroom doors, Alex stopped to answer a handful of questions before Elliot and Olivia guided her to the doors of the courthouse. Once outside the two women told Elliot they'd see him later and then headed for Alex's car.

"Has anyone ever told you that your amazing?" Olivia asked as she slipped into the passenger seat.

Alex beamed. "I do believe you said something similar last night."

Olivia laughed. Then she grew more serious. "I'm so glad his victims got the justice they need."

"I can't wait to tell Sally that we've won, and to tell Allie that the bad man is going to jail for a long time." Alex replied as she made her way through New York traffic towards St. Mary's.

Olivia nodded. "I think that'll help with the nightmares Sister Kate told us she's been having."

"That reminds me. We need to talk to Sally." Alex added as she pulled into the parking lot. "I couldn't find that box she was telling us about."

As soon as they stepped off the elevator both Alex and Olivia felt something odd in air. They both chalked it up to being on a geriatric floor, but as soon as they saw Serena and Casey standing by the nurses station they knew it was something more.

"Alex got 'em, Case." Olivia told the other ADA.

A small smile tugged at the redhead's lips. "Congrats Alex."

Alex knew right then that something was wrong. Neither Casey nor Serena acted the way she knew they should have at the news. "What's wrong?"

Serena lead both woman over to a small waiting area before looking at them. "Sally had a stroke this morning."

Olivia's eyes went wide as Alex gasped. "Is she.."

"No," Serena replied before Alex could finish. "She's still alive but it was a pretty bad stroke. She can't move or speak at all right now. There's no way that she'll be able to take care of Allie at all now."

Olivia and Alex looked quickly at each other. "That changes a lot." Alex said softly.

Olivia nodded and was quiet for a while before asking, "Does it really?"

Alex smiled. "No."

After a long few minutes of silence Alex finally looked at their two friends and asked. "What are you two doing here?"

"We had a meeting this morning. She needed to sign the last of the paperwork." Something heart breaking washed over Serena's face. "She was so happy, so relieved that Allie was going to be looked after, and cared for and about. I left for an hour to file the papers. I came back cause I wanted to tell her everything was final, and cause she'd mentioned wanting a Mr. Softy ice cream bar." Serena looked down at the paper bag she still held in her hand. 

When it was clear that Serena couldn't go on, Casey grabbed her other hand and went on for her. "Sally had the stoke twenty minutes after she had left. She called me after the nurses told her what happened. We tried to call you guys but your phones were off."

"We were in court." Olivia replied softly even though she really hadn't needed to explain.

Again the group of friends were still. This time Olivia asked, "Has anyone told Allie?"

Casey shook her head. "We knew you two would head over here after the verdict, so we waited. Figured you two would want to."

Both Alex and Olivia nodded. "I'm going to go talk to the doctor and then we'll head over to St. Brigit's."

"I'm coming with you." Alex replied as she quickly followed her lover.

An hour later Alex and Olivia were pulling up in front of St. Brigit's with Serena and Casey right behind them. They had phoned ahead to tell Sister Kate about Allie's grandmother, and the kind nun said she would make sure they had some private time with the little girl.

As soon as the little girl saw her grown up friends come into the garden she handed Sister Kate back her watering can and ran over to them. "Hi guys!" She shouted as she flung herself at Olivia.

"Hey Allie-Cat." Olivia replied as she put her hand on the little girl's shoulder.

Allie let go of Olivia's waist and looked at each of her friends. "What's the matter?"

Alex reached out and Allie gripped her hand with ease. "We need to talk ok, sweetie?" Allie nodded and went with Alex and Olivia over to a swing near the big tree. Once the three of them were sitting, with Allie in the middle, Alex looked down at her and told her first about the bad man.

Allie nodded when Alex was finished. "Good. I'm glad he was punished for hurting Bubbe and the others." Then she looked once again at Olivia and Alex's faces. "Putting the bad man away should make you guys happy, but your both sad. Why?"

"Allie," Olivia started with a bit of a sigh. "Sweetheart, we have something we need to tell you."

Allie looked between the two woman and then frowned. "It's about my Bubbe isn't it?"

Olivia nodded. "She had what's called a stroke this morning, Allie."

Tears began to well in the girl's eyes. "What does that mean? Is she dead?"

Alex shook her head as she pulled the little girl into her lap. "No sweetie, she's still alive, it just means that she can't move, or talk, right now."

When she blinked it caused the tears in her eyes to fall down her cheeks. Allie leaned in and wiped them away on Alex's suit jacket. "Will she get better?"

Olivia moved closer to Alex and started playing with Allie's hair in a comforting way. "We don't know, Sweetheart. The doctor's aren't sure how much mobility she'll be able to regain."

Again Allie blinked, causing new tears to flow. "Mobility?"

"It means they don't know if her arms and legs will ever work the way they use to, or if she'll be able to talk again." Alex answered as she held the girl tightly.

Allie felt sad and scared so badly that her body shook. She buried her face in Alex's chest and just cried. Alex held her tightly while Olivia rubbed her back. When she finally looked up, the fear in her eyes was heartbreaking to the two women.

"If Bubbe can't walk or talk how is she gonna take care of me?"

The two woman shared a painful glance before Olivia answered the girl's question. "She can't Sweetheart."

Her fears doubled. "Does that mean I have to stay here forever?"

Alex shook her head. "No, Sweetie, you won't stay here forever."

"But who's gonna take care of me?"

Again Alex and Olivia exchanged looks before Olivia answered. "Your new foster parents will."

Olivia's sudden announcement didn't make her feel any better and once again Allie's body trembled. "I don't wanna live with strangers! I wanna live with my Bubbe!" She clung to Alex's jacket as the woman held her.

"But Allie-Cat, your new foster parents aren't strangers." Alex told her softly.

Allie looked up at her. "They're not?" Alex shook her head. "Who?"

Alex smiled reassuringly. "Me and Olivia."

"Really?" Very slowly Allie began to feel less scared.

Olivia nodded. "Yeap, really."

There was a small flicker of light in Allie's blue eyes. "When?"

"Now." Alex answered.

Allie smiled and then hugged Alex and then Olivia. She still wanted her Bubbe, but now she knew she would be ok. "Can we go see Bubbe so I can tell her?"

"She already knew before her stroke, Sweetie." Alex answered. "Olivia and I asked her if she would be ok with the idea of us taking care of you until she was better." Olivia kissed the side of the girl's head. "She thought it was such a good idea that she asked us if we'd take care of you even if she couldn't anymore."

Allie nodded. Her Bubbe had told her that she liked Alex and Olivia. "Can we still go and see her though?"

"As soon as the doctor's say we can, Allie, we promise." Alex answered.

The three of them sat on the swing for a long time talking about everything and anything that Allie wanted or needed to talk about. After an hour Allie and Alex headed off to get Allie's things while Olivia talked to Serena about getting some of her other stuff from the old apartment.

"We'll get what she needs this weekend." Serena told Olivia as they waited in the lobby. "Everything else you'll have to wait for the baby shower for."

Olivia blinked. "Baby shower?"

Serena and Casey both laughed. "Sure." Casey finally replied. "Don't all new mommies get a baby shower?"

"Allie's hardly a baby." Olivia replied.

The fact that the detective didn't dispute the term 'mommies' didn't go unnoticed to the pair. "It's an excuse for a party, Liv. Besides, it's a chance for Allie to meet the people in your life, who are by association now in hers, and for them to meet her."

Olivia rolled her eyes but then nodded. "Ok, that's an over all good idea, but lets not plan any parties for awhile. We're all gonna need time to adjust."

The sudden sound of footsteps on the stairs behind them made Serena and Casey hold back their replies. Allie was running down the stairs with Alex hot on her heels.

"Allie don't run Sweetie, your gonna fall." Alex called after her."

Casey laughed. "Three minutes and she's already sounding like a mom." She whispered to Serena. Serena just smiled and nodded. 

"I'm ready 'livia!" Allie called out before slowing down and walking over to the brunette.

Olivia scooped the girl up in her arms and hugged her. "Alright Allie-Cat, lets go home." 


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia had been sure that by the second day of her family leave she would be absolutely bored out of her mind and itching to get back to work. She couldn't have been more wrong. There was so much to do. Serena had taken care of all the legal accepts of their guardianship, but there were still other things like finding a baby-sitter or day program for when she and Alex had to go back to work, finding a good school closer to their apartment before the new school year started, meeting with Allie's pediatrician which they were doing tomorrow.

Looking up from the stack of child care program papers she was reading over, Olivia glanced at her watch and then over at Allie and Alex who were snuggled on the sofa watching television. She couldn't hide, not that she wanted to, the smile that lit up her face while she watched her lover and the little girl for a few stolen moments. "Alright, Allie-Cat. It's nearly nine o'clock. Time to get ready for bed."

Allie looked up at Olivia, her little lip already sticking out. "Aww! But, Livvie, the game's still on."

Olivia got up from the chair she'd been in and headed towards the sofa. "Sorry kiddo, but it's bedtime. We've got an early doctor's appointment in the morning and then we're going to start shopping for your new bedroom, remember?"

"I remember." Allie replied as she laid her head against Alex's chest. "But Livvie! It's the Yankees!" Turning so she could look up at the blonde who she was snuggled against, she pleaded. "Alex, just a little longer? It's bottom of the seventh!"

"Oh no you don't." Alex warned as she tapped the tip of the little girl's nose. "We're not gonna start this playing one off the other bit, young lady." It took a lot for Alex not to smile as Allie's lip stuck out more. "So here's what we're gonna do. I'm going to Tivo the rest of the game so we can finish it tomorrow, and your gonna go get your jammies on and brush your teeth."

"But it's not the same." Allie whined.

Olivia picked the girl up off the sofa, taking her place next to Alex, and then sat her down on her lap. "That's the deal Allie-Cat. Take it or leave it."

Allie thought about it for a few minutes. "Can we read two chapters tonight?"

"One chapter tonight and one in the morning while Liv's out for her run." Alex answered.

Allie huffed out a great dramatic seven year old sigh. "Ok fine you win but this isn't fair."

"What isn't?" Olivia asked.

Allie looked at her foster mothers and replied. "How am I 'ppose to win an argament with a cop and a lawyer? I'm only a little kid!"

It took everything in both women to hold in their laughter until they heard Allie close the bathroom door. "That girl's a born lawyer if I ever saw one." Olivia finally said as her laugher fading to soft chuckles.

Alex nodded, the idea of Allie becoming a lawyer lighting up her whole face. "Did you get through all the files?" She asked as she cuddled into Olivia's side.

Olivia looked over at the stack of papers on the table. "Who knew it would be this hard to pick a child care program."

"Wait until we start checking into the schools on our short list." Alex replied.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and held her close as she looked around their apartment. It was an utterly different space then it had been two weeks ago. The biggest change was that their guest room was now a seven year old's bedroom compete with stuffed animals, stacks of children's books, and little girl clothes. But there were also little changes. There were Disney DVDs and kids CDs intermixed with theirs, a toy box had found it's way next to the far window, there were little kid toys on the floor next to the dog toys, and a little girl sock near the fire place.

"Did you ever think we'd ever end up like this?" Olivia asked.

Alex smiled. "Do you mean did I ever think we'd be playing house complete with a dog and a kid?" When Olivia nodded Alex smiled. "Actually to tell you the truth, I did."

Olivia looked down into Alex's bright blue eyes. "Really?"

"Really. It use to give me something to look forward to while I was gone. Something to day dream about. They became more hopes then dreams the day you showed up on my door step in Arizona."

There was always a hint of sadness and loss in Alex's eyes when she talked about the time she had to spend away. Olivia felt the same way when she thought about the time that had been stolen from them.

"Did you?" Alex asked.

Olivia was quite for a few minutes. "I never really thought of having kids. I was always afraid I'd screw them up one way or the other. Either I'd pass on my screwed up genetics or become my mother. Guess the ladder still scares me." Olivia paused a moment and then smiled before kissing Alex's forehead. "But I have to admit after we got together the idea might have passed through my mind."

Alex reached up and ran her fingers threw Olivia's hair. She would have replied to what her lover had said about her becoming her mother or passing on bad genes, but was cut short when she felt something land in her lap.

"All brushed." Allie exclaimed as she smiled, showing off her freshly brushed teeth.

Alex laughed. "So we can see." She replied as she wiped hot pink toothpaste off Allie's chin.

"Did you bring your brush?" Olivia asked as she handed Alex a tissue.

"Yeap." Allie replied as she handed Olivia her brush before switching laps.

Olivia checked to make sure Allie's hair had dried from her pre-Yankee's bath which made Allie giggle. She smiled as she started to brush out the girl's hair. After she was finished she watched as Alex and Allie headed off down the hall towards the bedrooms. It seemed that Allie had assigned them each a bedtime duty. Olivia brushed her hair, then Alex read to her, and then when Olivia came in to say goodnight it was her job to check for monsters and bad guys while Alex tucked her in. Olivia laughed at herself.

"It's only been a week, Benson, and your already wrapped around her little finger." She shook her head and laughed again. "The kid worked faster then Alex."

In the bedroom Alex sat on the full sized bed that had once been their guest bed. With her back against the headboard, her knees drawn up, Allie snuggled into her side, and a large green book open and resting against her thighs Alex read aloud.

"...spotted by Mrs. Weasley, who had chosen that moment to appear. "If I see you do that again I'll jinx your fingers together," She said sharply." 

Allie looked up at Alex and asked, "What hand gesture did he do, Alex?"

Alex paused in her reading, blinked, and racked her brain for an answer. "A rude one." She finally replied.

"I know that, the book said as much, but what was it? Did he flip him off with his middle finger?" Allie asked.

Alex looked down at the girl. "How do you know about flipping people off?"

Allie laughed, pulled her blankly more snuggly against herself, and snuggled closer to Alex. "I've live here all my life, Alex, I've even taken a taxi before."

"Oh." Alex replied before chuckling and returning to the book. " "Mum, can I have a Pygmy Puff?" Said Ginny at once. "A what?" Said Mrs. Weasley warily. "Look, they're so sweet..."

By the time Alex had gotten to the end of the chapter, Allie was trying to hide her yawns and blinking her eyes sleepily. "Alright sweetie, time to go to sleep." Alex said as she reached over and placed the book on the night stand.

Allie pouted. "One more chapter?"

"You wouldn't be awake past the third page." Alex replied as she eased off the bed and helped the girl settled in.

Allie snuggled down into the pillow and mattress and then looked around. "Where's Livvie? She has too..."

"I'm right here, Allie-Cat." Olivia announced as she walked into the room and started her nightly search for bad things.

Once Allie was settled in, kissed, hugged and told goodnight, she'd fallen right to sleep. Slipping out of the room, Olivia and Alex headed down the hall towards their own room. Once inside Olivia took hold of Alex and kissed her.

"What was that for?" Alex asked with a smile.

"Has anyone every told you your sexy as hell when your being maternal?" Olivia replied.

Alex laughed and kissed Olivia back. "Same could be said about you Detective."

As they set about getting ready for bed, Olivia looked up and watched Alex for a few minutes.

"What?" Alex asked when she noticed.

Olivia smiled. "Nothing."

Walking over to where Olivia was sitting on the bed, Alex smiled as she pushed her lover back until she was laying down, and then straddled her at the waist. Leaning down Alex kissed Olivia deeply, causing Olivia to reach up and wrap her arms around the blond's body.

They made love until they both slipped into a blissful sleep.

The darkness outside the windows was just starting to show shades of light when the heart stopping scream came from down the hall. Both Alex and Olivia jerked awake, neither sure what was happening until the second scream. Both women jumped out of bed and quickly threw their clothes on before heading down the hall. When they walked into Allie's room the bed was empty.

Walking over to the closet door Olivia knocked lightly before opening it. There, huddled on the floor in the corner was Allie.

"It was just another dream, Allie-Cat." Olivia said softly as she held out her hand.

The girl looked at her with sheer terror in her eyes. "Alex?" She said through her soft sobs. "Where's Alex? He was gonna get her.. He was gonna hurt her!"

Alex moved into Allie's line of sight and knelt down next to Olivia. "I'm right here sweetie. See? I'm ok, no one's hurt me."

Allie looked at Alex for a long time before finally coming out and wrapping herself tightly around her. "He.. was.. gonna... hurt... you.. like.. he... did... Bubbe... and... Livvie..."

"Shh." Alex soothed as she carried the scared little girl over to the bed. "Shh.. Allie, sweetie, it was just a dream. Just like the one about Livvie. He never hurt Livvie, or me."

"But.. he.. hurt.. Bubbe."

Alex nodded. "Yes, sweetie, he did but he's in jail now. He can't hurt anyone anymore."

Lifting her head off of Alex's chest she looked into the woman's bright blue eyes for a moment, then she looked over at Olivia who was sitting next to them, then she nodded. She put her head back down on Alex's chest, gripped Alex's night shirt so tightly her little knuckles turned white, and then reached out and grabbed hold of Olivia's tank top, again holding so tightly her knuckles where white.

It had taken an hour for Allie to fall back to sleep and to finally loosen her holds on their shirts. They'd both ended up laying next to her, one on either side, but when they tried to get up she'd whimper and reach out for them, so Alex and Olivia ended up spending another night sleeping with Allie between them.

The next morning the three of them got up early. Allie and Olivia walked Max while Alex went for her morning run, then while Olivia was out running Allie and Alex read the next two chapters of Allie's book. After breakfast and showers they headed out for the day. Their first stop was at Allie's doctor's office. When the walked into the office the lady behind the reception desk smiled.

"Hi Allie!" The much older short haired blond woman called out.

Allie smiled. "Hi Ms. Kimmy!"

Kim smiled as the trio approached the desk and then once again addressed the girl. "And who do you have with you?"

Allie beamed brightly. "This is Alex." She pointed up at Alex who stood at her side and then and Olivia who stood just behind and to the left of Alex with her hands shoved in her pockets. "And that's Livvie. I live with them now cause Bubbe had a stork and can't take care of me any more."

Kimmy frowned at the mention of Sally. "I heard about that. How is Mrs. Newman?" This time she addressed Alex.

"She's doing well." Alex replied. "Her doctors are hopeful."

The woman nodded and then picked up a clip board. "Doctor Bower needs all of Allie's new information."

Alex nodded as she took the clip board and then made her way along with Allie and Olivia to a row of chairs. She quickly filled out the forms about Allie's new address, contact information, her and Olivia's information, and new insurance information. By the time she'd finished a nurse had come out of the back and was calling Allie's name.

"Mary!" Allie shouted as she ran over and hugged the nurse.

Mary smiled. "Hi Squirt." Looking up she noticed the two woman following Allie and smiled. "Right this way." She ushered them into the back before introducing herself. "Mary Douglus. You must be the ones Doctor Bower was telling me about."

"If she was telling you about Allie's new guardians then yeap that's us." Olivia replied. "Olivia Benson," She shook the woman's hand while they walked back towards the scale area. "And my partner Alexandra Cabot."

The look the nurse gave Alex was one Alex knew well. It was the look everyone gave her when they connected her name to the headlines regarding her death and reappearances. Thankfully the nurse didn't start asking a bunch of questions, she simply gave Alex a warm smile.

"Ok Squirt lets see how much you've grown since we last saw you in here. Up ya go." Mary told the girl.

Allie got up on the scale and was weighed and measured. Mary took down a few notes and then helped the girl down. "We got a whole quarter of an inch."

Allie beamed.

"How long have you been helping with her medical care?" Alex asked as they made their way towards one of the exam rooms.

"Seven years." Mary replied. "Bower's been her doctor her whole life. She, Caleb, and Lauren all went to school together."

Allie looked sad at the mention of her parents names but brightened when Olivia took hold of her hand as the walked into the exam room.

After pulled a little set of steps up to the exam table Mary looked over at Allie and said, "Up ya go, Squirt." Allie climbed up and sat down on the paper covered bed so Mary could do the rest of the stuff she needed to do before the doctor came in.

A few minutes after Mary left a tall woman with long dark hair and bright green eyes walked in. "Hello Allison."

Allie smiled. "Hi Doctor Bower."

Walking over to the bed Doctor Bower smiled at Allie before turning to Alex and Olivia who were in near by chairs. "Ms. Cabot, Ms. Benson,"

"Detective Benson." Allie corrected with a beaming smile.

Doctor Bower chuckled. "My apologizes, Allison.. Detective Benson.. I'm Rebecca Bower."

The women exchanged greetings and then the doctor went right into her exam. "How are you feeling, Allison?"

"Pretty good." The girl replied with her head titled up so that the doctor could check her neck.

"You've been through a lot lately." Bower went on. "I bet it's been kinda hard with all the changes?" Allie nodded. "I bet with all the chances, and all your different feelings, sometimes you don't feel like eating much and maybe your not sleeping so good?"

Allie nodded and then looked down at her shoes.

"It's ok, Allison, it's not a bad thing." Bower told her kindly. "Sometimes when stuff like this happens even grown ups don't eat right and have bad dreams."

Allie looked up and smiled. "That's what Alex said. She said it was ok if I didn't wanna eat when I didn't feel like it, but she said she didn't want me to get sick so she and Livvie got me milkshakes with good stuff in it."

"Pediasure." Olivia piped in.

Bower's eyes brightened. When she was done with her exam she sat on a stool next to the bed. "Well Allison, your doing very well. I want to take some blood though so we can test it too."

Allie's eyes went wide.

Olivia got up and walked over to Allie and stood next to her. "Wanna hold my hand?" She asked.

Allie bit her lip. "I'm a big girl, Livvie." Pausing she looked up and asked. "Did you bring it?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. She pulled her gold shield off her belt and handed it to Allie. "Just in case you needed it."

"Thanks Livvie." Holding the badge tightly in one hand, Allie looked down at it and held out her little arm. Doctor Bower was impressed. As soon as the little rubber rope thing was around her arm, Allie slammed her eyes closed. When the needle went into her arm she whimpered and tears welled under her eye lashes. Once the doctor was done Olivia reached over and wiped the tears away.

A few minutes later Mary came back into the room.

"I need to talk to your.."

"My Livvie and My Alex." Allie told Doctor Bower.

Doctor Bower smiled and nodded her head.. "So Mary's going to take you to the playroom so you can pick something out of the Princess Chest and get your gummy bears."

Allie got down off the table with Olivia's help and then handed the badge back.

Once Allie was out of the room Doctor Bower turned to Alex and Olivia. "I have to confess I was concerned when I'd heard Allison had been placed with foster parents. But I can see that even with everything going on she's happy."

"She's an amazing little girl." Alex replied.

Doctor Bower smiled and nodded her agreement before asking, "Other then the lack of appetite and nightmares has there been any other side effects of what happened to Sally? How is she by the way?"

Olivia looked at the doctor a moment before admitting, "She's real skittish around men, but that's not uncommon in victims and witnesses to such violence."

"Sally's going to be moved to a rehabilitation center up state next week." Alex answered the second part of the Doctor's inquiry. "The doctors think there's a chance for some recovery of speech and some movement, but they doubt she'll walk without help again."

"Which means she'll most likely never be able to care for Allison again." The Doctor mused. "How long will she be with you?"

"Doctor Bower," Alex said taking on her professional tone. "our taking care of Allie isn't a temporary fix."

Bower looked at Alex a moment and smiled a little. "It's good to hear you say so. That little girl's been through a lot and she doesn't even remember most of it." Taking a card out of her pocket she handed it to Alex. "That's the name of a Psychiatrist that I've recommended before. I think it might help if she talked to someone."

"Thanks." Olivia replied. "But we've already set up an appointment for her to see Elizabeth Olivet."

Alex suddenly laughed.

Olivia blinked. "What?"

Alex handed her the card Doctor Bower had handed her. Olivia took it, looked it over, and then blushed.

"Elisabeth's good and I only send my kids to the best." Bower explained. She then went on to tell them to do just what they were doing, comforting her when she had nightmares, giving her the pediasure, and just being there for her.

After making an appointment for Allie to come back in three months, Alex, Olivia and Allie headed down to the car, then they head towards the shops Alex had made a list off. Now that they knew Allie was physically handling the changes in her life pretty well, they could relax a little and finally make Allie's room her very own. 


	8. Chapter 8

The room was decorated to be soft and non-threatening but even to a seven year old talking to a physiatrist could be uncomfortable. Allie sat on the small chair at the small table while Elizabeth Olivet sat in a slightly larger chair next to her. She was drawing a picture of how she was feeling inside because Elisabeth had asked her to, but she liked to draw and would have done it anyway.

"Alex tells me that your room's finally finished." Elisabeth said gently as she watched the girl color the edges of the paper black. "What's it look like?"

Allie nodded and smiled as she looked up at the woman. "Three walls are white with green, orange, light pink and bright pink spots in the middle. The wall behind my bed is orange and pink. All my furniture is bright red and retro, it's called the Lizzie McGuire set." Allie went back to coloring as she continued. "I have a bed, a dresser with a mirror, a nightstand, a chest, and a desk."

Elizabeth smiled as she asked, "What's special about it?"

"Mister Fin came over and painted a picture of Livvie's shield above my door, and Alex leaves a pair of her glasses in my room too." Allie went on.

"Why Olivia's shield?"

"Because." Allie answered.

This time Elisabeth suppressed her smile. "Because why?"

"No one can get me." The little girl explained as she picked up another crayon.

"Does it make the bad dreams stop too?" Elisabeth asked as she took notes.

Allie shook her head. "They still come."

"And what do you do when you have one?"

A little stick person stood in the middle of Allie's picture and six bigger figures stood around her in a circle, one with brown hair, two with yellow, and two with red, and one with silver. The bigger figures looked as if they were keeping the black around the edges of the paper away from the little girl. "I use to hide in my closet."

"And now?"

"I pull the blankets up and wait for Livvie and Alex to come." Allie answered. "They always come."

"Your very close to Olivia and Alex aren't you?"

Allie sighed and nodded her head. "I miss my Bubbe."

"It's ok to miss her and to feel good about being with Alex and Olivia too." The woman reassured. She'd been worried that Allie would start to feel guilty for adjusting into her new home.

"I don't want Bubbe to be mad at me." Allie confessed.

"Why would she get mad, Allison?"

Allie picked up another piece of paper and started to draw a new picture. "Because God answered my prayer and not hers."

"What did you ask God for?"

"A mommy." This picture had two big figures and a little one together, and a third big figure alone and crying. "I have a Bubbe, and I had a Nana and a Daddy but I've never had a mommy before."

"And what did she ask for?"

"For Nana Dette not to die."

Elisabeth talked to Allie for the rest of her hour about how she felt about living with Alex and Olivia. Then she let the little girl play while she went into her office to speak with the detective and ADA. "She's adjusted well," The dark haired doctor started. "and she seems to be dealing with the trauma of what she witnessed."

"There's a but coming." Olivia piped in.

"She's beginning to feel guilty." Elisabeth told them.

Alex fidgeted with her glasses as she asked, "What is there for her to feel guilty about?"

"You," Elisabeth told her just for the reaction she knew she'd get from her friend. "and Olivia. She misses her grandmother and feels bad because she feels safe with the two of you. She's afraid that her grandmother may become angry over her closeness to you both."

"What do we do?" Alex asked.

"For starters be prepared for some backlash. She might start acting up in order to push you away. You'll need to handle it in a firm yet reassuring way. Secondly, she needs to talk about how she's feeling with both of you as well as her grandmother."

Olivia sighed. "Sally's still unable to commentate very well and she can't do verbal at all yet."

"Allison needs to know that her grandmother isn't angry with her." Elisabeth stressed. "For now spend I think if the four of you spent time together and Allison can see that her grandmother is pleased with her being with you, that should help."

Alex nodded and was already making plans to spend the first Saturday they could with Sally.

"There's one more thing." Elisabeth said. "Your going to want to get her use to the idea of you both going back to work. She might feel as if she's been left alone even in a day program, school setting. Go out for an evening, leaving her with someone she and you trust, then work up to leaving her for a day at the program you've chosen." Elisabeth showed them both pictures and explained what she thought they meant. "Most children seen the adults in their lives and shields. With her so recently losing so many of her shields she might became scared of losing you both as well, especially given that she knows in away what you work entails."

Both women agreed to work on the points Elisabeth had made and then set up Allie's next appointment. When they went to the playroom to pick up their foster daughter it was Alex's arms she launched herself into.

"So am I nuts?" Allie asked as she was carried down the hallway.

Alex blinked. "Of course your not nuts. Why would you think you were?"

"Cause I have to talk to Doctor Olivet and she's a head doctor." Allie answered as she hugged Alex's neck.

"You don't have to be nuts to talk to a physiatrist or a therapist Allie-Cat." Olivia explained in the elevator. 

"You don't?" Allie asked.

Olivia shook her head. "Alex and I talk to Doctor Hung at work. He's a physiatrist. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who knows how to listen the right way and who isn't someone your with all the time."

"I like Doctor George. He's nice." Allie smiled until Alex put her down outside the office building. She liked it when one of them held her. It was safe and warm and she liked how they smelled. Alex smelled like baby powder and a soft perfume. Olivia smelled like vanilla and leather. "Where are we going now?"

"We've got to buy birthday presents for Elliot's twins." Olivia answered as she helped Allie into the car and buckled her in. "Their birthday party is tomorrow."

"Do I get to go?" Allie asked as she snuggled into the leather seat.

Alex smiled at her through the rear view mirror. "Of course you do sweetheart."

"Can I pick their presents? I know a lot about kids ya know."

Alex and Olivia both laughed. "Sure you can." Alex answered.

After asking Olivia a million questions about Elizabeth and Dickie, Allie was able to pick out a new video game for Dickie and a two DVDs for Elizabeth. When they finally got home that evening Allie could barely sit still. She didn't have many friends and the ones she did have she had to leave behind in her old neighborhood. She really hoped that Elliot's twins liked her.

Elliot's house was in Queens and the drive there was driving Allie nuts. She tugged and smoothed out her skirt and adjusted and readjusted the gifts that sat on the seat beside her. The thing that finally got to Alex was the little girl's non stop tapping on the back of her seat. "You alright back there, sweetheart?"

"Yes." Allie answered and then sighed. "Do you think they'll like me?"

"Of course they will." Olivia answered as she turned to look at the girl while they waited at a light.

Allie nodded and smoothed out her skirt again.

When they finally pulled up in front of the Stabler house both women had thought the small girl would have jumped out of the care and dashed towards the door, but she didn't. As excited as she was, Allie was now a little scared. She reached up and took Alex's hand and held it tightly.

"Hi guys." A young woman greeted after Olivia had rung the door bell. "Come on in."

Olivia smiled. "Good to see you Maureen. How's school?"

Maureen smiled as she lead the trio into the house. "Not to bad." She answered before looking down at Allie. "You must be Allison. Dad told us you were staying with Liv and Alex. My name's Maureen."

Allie smiled at the girl and shook her hand. "We brought gifts."

With a smile that looked a lot like her father's Maureen accepted the gifts. "I'll put these with the others. Would you like to come and meet the twins? Your the first ones here."

"Yes please." Allie said politely and then added, "Thank you."

The party was set up in the basement of the house which was decorated with purple and green streamers, balloons, games, and what looked like the tape Livvie kept in her work bag. It made Allie blink and Olivia laughed as she crouched down beside her. "It's a running joke. One year Elliot forget to get the streamers so we used police tape."

Allie giggled and wondered for a moment if her daddy had ever done something so silly.

The twins were older then Allie but they were really nice to her. Dickie showed her how to play his favorite video game and Elizabeth had complemented her on her dress. As the kids hung out in the basement the adults hung back out of the way, but Alex and Olivia took turns hovering so they could keep an eye on Allie.

Eliot watched the two woman and couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" Olivia asked as she reached for another soda.

"Your such new moms." Eliot replied before gulping his beer.

Alex looked at her friend as if he'd grown a second head. "Well that was observant. What was the first clue? The fact we've had her a little over a month now or our utter cluelessness?"

"The fact that your hovering." Eliot smirked. "Your waiting for something to go off so you can sweep her up before anything can happen."

Olivia huffed softly. "And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothin'." Eliot continued to smirk.

Alex looked at the dark haired bright eyed man and then over at Olivia. "Why's he smirking like that?"

Olivia looked at Eliot for a long time before finally shrugging at Alex and turning to Kathy. "Why's he smirking like that?"

Kathy smiled warmly at the woman she once saw as a huge threat to her and Eliot. "Being moms suits you both."

"Oh." They both replied with smiles.

"Speaking of the month you've had her." Came a new voice from the doorway. "Have you two been out together since?" Casey asked.

Alex shook her head. "No, it's been to soon."

"But Elisabeth said we should." Olivia added. "She said it would be a good time to get her use to us leaving which our leaves almost up."

Casey nodded. "That's a good idea. Make plans, Reenie and I will come sit with her."

Allie was sound asleep as Olivia put her in the car. The hardened detective couldn't help but smile as she brushed hair from the girl's face. As she slipped into the driver's side of the car she reached over and Alex's hand. "They were right tonight ya know."

"I am not drying my hair." Alex huffed. "I did that once for WPP and I hated it."

Olivia laughed. "No I didn't mean about that. I meant about being a mother looking good on you."

Alex smiled and held tightly to Olivia's hand. "It feels good."

Olivia nodded. "Yes it does." 


	9. Chapter 9

Laying on Alex and Olivia's bed, Allie watched wide eyed as Alex floated around the room getting dressed, doing her hair, putting on make-up, and strapping on her shoes. When the older blonde sat down at her vanity again, reaching for a perfume bottle, Allie rolled off the bed and padded up to her. "You look very pretty, Alex."

Alex smiled at the smaller blonde and kissed her on the nose. "Thank you baby girl."

Allie beamed. That was a new nick name that only Alex used and she liked it very much. She giggled when Alex dabbed a little bit of her special expensive perfume on her neck and then took a deep breath. "Oh I smell like you!"

The glee in the child's eye made Alex melt. It still amazed her that this child got so exited over hard-assed Alex Cabot. It's going to break my heart when she takes me off that pedestal. "I'll tell Casey and Serena to use my bath wash when they give you your bath tonight, would you like that?"

Allie helped herself to Alex's lap and titled her head to the side. "Your not going to help me take my bath?"

"Liv and I won't be home in time, baby girl." Alex said carefully.

"But why do you have to go out?" Allie asked. "And how come I can't come too?"

Alex wrapped her arms around the girl and held her close. "We've talked about this, Allie. Grown-ups like to go out and do grown-up things together. Grown-ups who love each other like Liv and I do like to go out and spend time being a couple."

"But we're a family now aren't we?" Allie asked as she played with Alex's fingers. "You shouldn't leave me out."

"We're not leaving you out, Allie." The girl had been fine with this that morning when they'd gone to the zoo, but now she was reacting just how Alex thought she might. "Just because Liv and I are going out doesn't make us any less a family."

"But your leaving me here."

Alex was really starting to dislike the word but. "Do we stop being a family when you and I go shopping and leave Liv at home? Or when you and Liv go out and leave me home?" Allie shook her head and Alex smirked. "See, just because the three of us aren't together all the time doesn't mean we're not a family."

"But I don't want you to go." Allie whined as she laid her head on Alex's chest.

Alex bit her lip until she was sure she could keep the small snap out of her voice. "Your going to have a wonderful time with Casey and Serena and when you get up in the morning Liv and I will be right here." Alex gave the girl a hug and then set her on her feet. "Wanna go tell Liv to hurry up? Casey and Serena will be here soon."

Allie shrugged. "Sure, guess so." As she left the bedroom and paddled slowly down the hall to the bathroom, Allie's seven year old way of thinking started to formulate a plan B. By the time she reached the bathroom she looked as sad and pathetic as she could muster. "Livvie," She whined from the bathroom door. "I don't feel so good."

Looking away from mirror she'd been using to apply her make-up, Olivia looked down at the little girl. The kid looked sad but not unwell. Biting back a smirk she couched down as best she could in the dress she was wearing. "What's the matter, Allie-Cat?"

"My froat hurts." To emphasize her point, Allie put her hand over her throat.

Reaching out Olivia put her hand first on the girl's forehead and then on the back of her neck the way she'd see Elliot do. "You don't feel warm, sweetheart."

"I'll have a fever later." She reassured the brunette. "So you and Alex have to stay home to take care of me. I'll need my medicine."

Picking the little girl up Olivia held her tightly in her arms and brought her back over to the sink and medicine cabinet. "Your right, Allie-Cat."

Allie smirked.

"If you have a fever then you'll need your medicine and you'll need to stay in bed." Olivia went on as she opened the medicine cabinet and started to look around for things. "We should check your temperature and get you right to bed. I guess you won't get to watch the movies we picked up this morning, and since your sick you'll have to have chicken soup for dinner so we can cancel the pizza."

This suddenly didn't seem like a very good idea. She really wanted to see the Princess Diary DVDs they bought and she really wanted pizza. Allie sighed as she hopped down off the sink. "All better Livvie! Alex said to hurry up cause Casey and Serena would be here soon! I'm gonna go wait for them by the door!"

Olivia watched the tiny blonde bolt from the bathroom and just barely managed to hold back her laugh until the girl was out of ear shot.

When the buzzer sounded near the door Allie pulled a stool up to it and climbed up. "Who's there?" She called into the intercom. "Two blondes and a redhead." Came Serena's voice.

Allie blinked. Two blondes? "Did you bring me something?"

The reply came back as a laugh. "Let us in and you'll find out."

"OK hold on I'm not allow to buzz people without asking." Allie said into the speaker. Climbing down off the stool she ran into the bedroom. "Alex can I let two blondes and a redhead in?"

This time Alex blinked. "Two blondes and a redhead?"

Allie nodded. "That's what Serena said when I said who's there."

Reaching out Alex offered her hand to the little girl who took it and smiled. Together they headed to the front door where Alex pressed the buzzer and then waited by the door for the knock. When it came Alex looked through the peephole and only saw Serena and Casey standing there, though Casey had a duffle bag over one shoulder. She couldn't help but think the two were up to something as she opened the door.

"You look good Cabot." Serena said as she and Casey came inside.

"Thanks but I thought I wasn't you type." Alex replied as she crossed her arms and looked her guests.

Serena smirked. "Your not."

Allie titled her head to the side as she watched the three grown ups a moment and when she was sure Alex wasn't going to reply she asked, "Where's the other blonde?"

Serena and Casey both smiled as Serena knelt down to the girl's level. "Right here." She answered as she opened her jacket.

Allie squealed when she saw what was hiding in Serena's jacket. Reaching in with a small hand she let the little blonde kitten smell her fingers. The kitten licked the tip of one of the finger and meowed, which then drew Max out of the bathroom where he'd been watching Olivia.

"Serena!" Alex said as she hoped to God the dog didn't eat the cat.

"It's ok, Cabot." Serena answered as Max sniffed the kitten. "Ol' Max here won't mind sharing the family, will ya?"

Max sniffled the kitten and sneezed. The kitten sniffed Max and then licked his nose. Allie giggled. Reaching in with both hands she drew the kitten out of it's hiding place. "Is he for me?"

Casey nodded. "Every little girl should have a kitten."

Alex stood there with her 'about to chew up the prep' look on her face which she softened as she looked down at Allie. "Baby girl would you go and ask Liv to come here please?"

"Can I keep him Alex?" Allie asked as she cuddled the kitten in one arm and scratched Max's ear with the other hand. "Please, he was a present."

"We'll see, Allie. Please go get Liv." Alex replied softly.

Allie sighed. "Alright."

Once Allie was out of ear shot Alex turned to the other two women. "Did it not occur to you two to ask us? What if Max had eaten it?"

"We knew he wouldn't." Casey said as she opened the bag and started pulling out cat care items. "Liv said he liked cats."

Alex rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean we had any plans to add a cat to the mix."

"Chill Cabot." Serena said easily as she out her arm around the blonde. "You and Benson would have gotten her one sooner or later."

"That's beside the point." Alex huffed.

When Olivia walked in she was just shaking her head. "You couldn't have just given her cash?"

Serena laughed. "And miss the looks on your faces? Not a chance."

When Allie reappeared the kitten was perched comfortably on her shoulder. Walking over to Alex she looked up at the older blonde, her eyes bright, and asked, "Alex can I please keep Arthur?"

All four women blinked but it was Olivia who asked, "Arthur?"

Allie nodded. "He looks like Mister Branch. Same blue eyes and his meow sounds like Mister Branch too."

They all tried really hard to hold back their laughter but none of them really managed to do it. It was just to hard to fight the images of the big bad DA and the tiny blonde kitten being the same.

"So can I keep him?" Allie asked again.

Alex looked over at Olivia who nodded her head and then back down at Allie. "Alright baby girl you can keep him. But you, me, and Liv are gonna sit down and talk about responsibilities when it comes to taking care of him."

Allie squealed as she threw her arms around Alex. "Oh thank you thank you." Then she moved on and hugged and thanked Serena, Casey, and Olivia. The fact that Alex and Olivia were going out for the night was completely forgotten until the women starting picking up their purses. "Your still going?"

Olivia nodded as she sat down on the sofa next to Allie. "We'll only be gone a few hours, Allie-Cat. You'll be safe with Serena and Casey."

"I know but I want you and Alex to stay home with me." Allie said softly as she stroked the kitten in her lap.

Alex walked over and sat on the girl's other side. "We've been through all of this baby girl." She reached out and caressed the girl's cheek. "We've got to start doing things a little more normally and apart of that is that there will be times when Liv and I need to go out."

"But you don't need to go out you want to go out." Allie argued.

"Yes we want to go out but we also need to go out." Alex explained. "You need to get use to this and we need some grown up time."

Allie sighed. "Fine leave I don't care."

The tone of the words along with the words themselves broke both women's hearts. Leaning in Alex kissed the girl on top of her forehead. "Be a good girl, Allie. We'll check on you as soon as we get in."

Olivia leaned in and kissed her next. "Have a good time, Allie-Cat." Then she rubbed the top of the kitten's head with her finger. "See ya later Arthur."

As soon as the apartment door closed Allie picked up her kitten and went to her room. Serena started after her but Casey grabbed her lover's arm. "Give her a few minutes alone, Reenie." Serena just nodded. They let the girl have her space and time until the pizza came and then called her out to eat. She moped through dinner but was fine half way through the first movie. Allie had even tried to get Serena to dance along to the music videos.

Alex had been the one who couldn't shake leaving the apartment. "Maybe it was too soon." She said as she and Olivia sat at a table in their favorite pre-Broadway show bar.

Olivia reached across the table and took Alex's hand. "She'd have given us a hard time no matter when we went out, sweetheart. She'll give us a hard time every time we go out until she's like twelve."

That made Alex smile. "Your talking long term, Liv."

Olivia smiled in return. "Well, this is long term isn't it?"

"I want it to be." Alex confessed. "We haven't had her long but I can't picture out lives without her now."

"I know what you mean." Olivia beamed. "I never in a million years pictured my life this way."

Alex rubbed her thumb against Olivia's hand as she held it tightly. "What way?"

"Happy." Olivia confessed. "In a working and happy relationship with someone I love so completely, raising a child, working a job a love, making a difference." Olivia paused as she looked away from Alex's eyes and stared into her glass. "I always thought I'd end up like my mother."

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand. "That could have never happened, Liv. You mother had her own set of unique issues."

Olivia nodded. "I know that now but not back then. Though sometimes I still wait for the other shoe to drop."

"We can't live our lives waiting for something to happen, Liv." Alex said softly, her eyes taking on that haze they always did when she thought about her time away. "If we're to bust looking over our shoulders we miss out on the life happening in front of us."

"When did you get so wise?" Olivia asked as she finally looked back up to meet piecing blue eyes.

Alex smiled softly. "Sometime between getting shot and you showing up on my doorstep in Arizona."

After the show the two women went to dinner rather pleased with themselves. They'd managed to only call home three times, before the show, at intermission and before walking into the restaurant. The were both silly chuckling over Allie's declaration that Casey was gross because she put Ranch dressing on her pizza, and over the girl's tale of how Arthur stole a pepperoni off Serena's plate.

By the time they finally made it home it was well after midnight. When they walked into the apartment most of the lights were out and the TV was playing softly. Casey and Serena were snuggled on the couch and smiled when their friends walked in.

"Have a good time?" Casey asked to comfortable against Serena to move.

Alex smiled and nodded as she sat in a chair; Liv sitting on the arm beside her. "It was wonderful. You've both got to go see it." Pausing she looked over at the TV and frowned. "What on Earth are you watching?"

"Boy Meets Grill." Serena answered.

Alex watched a few seconds of the show and shuddered. "I can't stand that little prick of a man. Who's the blonde?"

"His wife." Casey answered this time. "She's an actress on one of those court/cop shows that you denounce all the time and yet we all know you secretly love to watch."

Soft laugher came from both Olivia and Serena when the pillow Alex threw hit Casey in the head.

After saying goodnight and thanking their friends for watching Allie, Alex and Olivia snuck into the little girl's room to look her over. They knew she was alright but they still wanted to make sure she was the same little girl they'd left Casey and Serena with. As they stood there watching the girl sleep, a NYPD t-shirt and an old pair of Alex's glasses clutched in her hand, both women sighed happily. They both gave her a soft kiss goodnight and Alex carefully took the glasses from the girl's hand and put them back on the nightstand before she slipped out behind Liv. 


	10. Chapter 10

Warning: A part of the following story will seem out of place until "On the Road to Conviction" is posted

* * *

It had been hard to fall sleep. There was just too much excitement; her little brain had worked over time thinking about what was going to happen the next day. When she had finally fallen sleep it was just lightly and as soon as she felt the sun on her face from her window, Allie was wide awake. Slipping out of her bed she picked up Arthur, who slept with her, and paddled down the hall to Alex and Olivia's room. She pressed her ear to the door to make sure there wasn't any grown-up sounds inside and then slipped in when the cost was clear. Both of her guardians were still sound asleep. After setting her kitten on the foot of the bed, Allie climbed on to the bed herself. Olivia was on her back with Alex's arm around her, while Alex slept on her tummy. Allie crawled up both women's bodies until she was sitting on Olivia's chest and Alex's arm. She stared down into Olivia's face for a very long moment, hopping that her added weight to Olivia's chest would be enough to wake her, but it hadn't. Reaching out Allie put her hands on Olivia's face and leaned down until they were nose to nose and then as loudly as she could she yelled, "Livvie wake up!"

Olivia had been having a rather pleasant dream which involved Alex, a law book, a pair of black framed glasses, and a naughty detective when the sudden small screech ripped through her head. Olivia jumped as two just opened chocolate brown eyes fixed onto two tiny blue ones. "Allie?" She asked her voice startled and sleepy. "Allie, what's the matter? What's happened?"

Allie smiled brightly as she felt Alex begin to stir as well. "It's time to get up."

Alex rolled over onto her side and cracked open one blue eye. She looked at Allie and smiled at the image of the tiny girl perched on Olivia's chest and then she glanced at the clock. "Baby girl, it's barely five am."

"The sun's awake." Allie said smartly. "It's time to get up. I have to get ready for school." Olivia smiled as she pulled the girl off her and settled her on the bed between herself and Alex. "First day of school buzz." She mumbled as she settled comfortably into the bed herself.

"We don't have to be up until six-thirty, and you don't need to be up until seven." Alex explained as she wrapped her arms around the tiny blonde child and cuddled her. "Go back to sleep, baby girl."

Allie sighed. She didn't want to be late. She wanted to get there and meet her new teacher and wear her new uniform and make new friends. A tiny yawn however convinced Allie that a little more sleep might not hurt. She snuggled into the safe, warm place between her Livvie and her Alex, taking in a lung full of the scent of Alex's hair, and then quickly fell back to sleep.

At seven it was Olivia's turn to make wake up calls. She had taken the half hour between waking up and now to shower and get ready, leaving Alex to do the same while she feed the dependants. Flopping down on the bed she lifted Allie's night shirt and began to blow raspberries on her stomach. The tiny girl woke up giggling and wiggling. "You awake?" Olivia asked.

Allie sighed happily, "Mmmhmm."

In one easy swoop Olivia had the girl off the bed and over her shoulder, tickling her gently as she padded down the hall towards the kitchen. "Good. Now it's time to get ready for school."

"Livvie, what will my new school be like?" Allie asked when Olivia placed a bowl of oat meal in front of her. "Will it be like my old school?"

Olivia sat next to her at the table and wrapped her arms around her coffee mug. "In some ways it will be the same." She sipped and then leaned back in her chair. "But it's going to be different too because it's a private school rather then a public school and because your different now too."

Allie nodded. She was different. She had mommies now even though she hadn't told Alex and Olivia that in her head they were her mommies. She was afraid that if she said it out loud they'd go away just like the mommy who carried her in her tummy did. "Can I come home if I don't like it?"

"You'll like it Allie-Cat. You liked day camp and some of the kids from the day camp will be at your school." Olivia said easily.

That made Allie smile. "Rachel will be there."

Just as she'd finished putting her bowl, cup, and spoon in the sink Allie heard Alex's heels on the kitchen floor and spun around. She smiled up at the older blonde. Her Alex was so very pretty and it made Allie beam. "Ready to put Livvie's bad guys away?"

Alex nodded as she held out her hand to the girl. "Yeap, I'm ready. Are you ready to tackle your first day of school?"

"Yes!" Allie replied as she took Alex's hand and was lead to her bedroom. Alex helped her wash up and then dress in her new school uniform. She liked the little jumper and white blouse and twirled in the mirror with a giggle.

Alex smiled brightly as she watched Allie and then held her arms open to give the girl a hug. "I use to twirl in my uniform too. It gets better with the older girl's skirts."

"Did you like this school when you went?" Allie asked as she cuddled with Alex.

"I liked it a lot." Alex replied. "It's a really good school and the kids are really nice and so are the teachers." Having a little girl to send to her old schools meant so much to Alex and she had been thrilled when Olivia had agreed, especially since Olivia had really liked the school after they'd checked it out. "Got everything?"

Allie pulled away from Alex and ran over to her backpack. She did a quick double check and then nodded. "Yeap, got everything."

"Then lets go get Liv and get going." Holding out her hand once more, Alex smiled when Allie took it after heaving her backpack onto her shoulders. The two blondes walked out to join Olivia in the living room and posed.

Olivia smiled as she got to her feet. "Power blondes; gotta love 'em."

Alex and Allie both stuck their tongues out at the brunette.

Allie chattered the whole drive down to the school and then suddenly became shy and quiet as they walked in. It was a lot bigger then the last time she'd come here to take all the tests and have her interview. She gripped Olivia's hand tightly and hid behind the older woman as another woman walked up and greeted Alex.

"Alexandra, what a pleasure to see you again." The woman who was clearly in her late sixties said as she shook Alex's hand.

Alex smiled brightly at the woman. "It's good to see you again as well, Mrs. Kendra."

The older woman smiled at Alex once more before turning to Olivia. "Detective Benson." She offered her hand and Olivia shook it. Then she looked down at the tiny pair of peeping eyes that were peeking out from behind the detective. Crouching down to Allie's level Mrs. Kendra whispered, "On Alexandria's first day here it took her father an hour to get her out of the car and another twenty minutes to get her to let go of his neck."

The lady's smile was warm and she smelled pretty, but those were no reasons to come out where she could get her. Allie remained behind Olivia as she asked in reply, "Really?"

Mrs. Kendra nodded. "Yes, but once she let go and went over to her classmates and started to play she was just fine. She even asked her father if she could stay longer."

That made Allie laugh and Alex sigh softly. She missed her father and she ached to know what he would think of her and her little family. Stepping closer to Olivia and Allie, Alex held out her hand to the little girl. "Come on, baby girl, I want to show you around before we take you to your new class."

Allie looked at Alex for a moment before finally taking her hand. She fought the urge to hide behind her and tried her best to walk beside her. It was important that she act like a grown-up girl because this was Alex's old school and she'd die if she embarrassed Alex here.

Mrs. Kendra watched Alex and Allie head off down the hall and smiled. Her smile brightened as she turned to Olivia. "So Detective," She started as they followed Alex and Allie. "I'd be interested in knowing what your background checks turned up."

Olivia blushed as she looked at the woman with as straight a face as she could muster. "Background checks?"

"Oh yes, dear." Mrs. Kendra said with a chuckle. "Your not our first parent in the field of law enforcement you know."

Olivia laughed softly. "Been through this before then. Well, you'll be glad to know that everything came up clean."

Mrs. Kendra smiled. "Good to know."

After seeing all of the school that Alex could show her and talking to the principal for a while, Allie started to feel a little better and her excitement started to come back. By the time they found themselves in front of her classroom she was bubbling over. She could see a young woman, even younger then Alex and Olivia, standing inside talking. The woman smiled and waved them in.

"Welcome Alison." The young teacher said as she walked over to them. She put her hand on Allie's shoulder and smiled. "I'm Miss Lewis. We meet when you were here before school started, do you remember?"

Allie nodded, she kind of remembered.

Miss Lewis gave her another smile before turning her attention to Alex and Olivia. Ms. Cabot, Detective Benson. I'm glad you both could come. We're allowing parents a few more minutes with the younger children, your welcome to join the others and give the room a once over if you'd like."

"Thank you." Alex said politely. As the three of them walked into the small grouping of parents and children she gave Olivia a look that silently asked if that girl was even old enough to be out of college yet. Olivia hid a smile behind her hand.

When Miss. Lewis said it was time for the parents to leave Alex and Olivia both hugged Allie and kissed her cheek. She watched as they left and then slid into a desk. She watched the door for a few more moments and then turned to look at her teacher as the woman began to speak.

Allie had really enjoyed school and had even gotten up the nerve to talk to some of the other kids. By the time Alex was at the classroom door again, Allie had made three new friends. She held her guardian's hand while they walked out to the car and told her everything.

Alex smiled brightly and listened, thankful and glad that Allie had liked school. She and Olivia had worried about Allie's transition, but it looked like they'd gotten another one right.

"Where are we going?" Allie asked from the backseat of Alex's car as they headed in the opposite direction of their apartment.

Alex glanced in the mirror. "I need to head back to the office for a little while, baby girl. Arthur decided to shake things up and I need to try and settle them."

"Oh." Allie said with her head titled to the side. "Can I see Casey? I wanna tell her about school and I need to ask her someding. And where's Livvie?"

"Of course you can see Casey." Alex answered as she bit back the comment meant for the cabby two cars ahead. "And Livvie's working a case. She'll meet us for dinner."

Allie held Alex's hand and smiled at the people who greeted the older blonde as they walked into Alex's office building. The place wasn't as fun as the squad room where Livvie worked, but as she was learning lawyers were a different breed of adult then cops where, in fact they were a different breed all together. As the elevator doors opened she could see Casey standing at the end of the long hall talking to a young man and woman. The redhead didn't look happy and now that she thought about it, Alex had those little winkles in the corners of her eyes, the ones she always gets when work is stressing her out. When they were a little closer and Allie could tell that Casey's voice had a tough of anger in it, the little girl let go of Alex's hand and ran down the rest of the hallway. "Casey!"

Casey turned away from the two young lawyers just in time to catch the blonde projectile. "Hey kiddo." She said, the tone of her voice changing instantly. "How was your first day at school?"

The little girl wrapped her arms around Casey's neck and took a deep breath. "It was good! I was kinda scared at first and hide behind Livvie but Alex showed me around and I like my teacher and I made three friends, and I like my uniform cause it twirls really pretty, and oooo guess what? They have a t-ball team for my grade! Will you teach me how to play, Casey? Huh huh will ya?"

It took several moments for the ADA to sort through all of that and then she smiled brightly. "Sure Allie I'll teach you how to play t-ball."

"Sweet!" Allie replied as she hugged Casey's neck. When she noticed the two new people who were staring at her and Casey open mouthed she huffed. "How are you?"

The young man puffed his chest. "Charles Jacobs."

The young woman smiled softly. "Sophia Munroe. What's your name?"

"Alison." She answered as she looked them both over. She liked the lady but the guy seemed like a jerk.

Charles looked at the child and then at his new bosses. "Is it one of yours?"

"I'm not an it." Allie said before either Alex or Casey could replied. "I'm a she and Alex and Livvie are taking care of me now." She eyed the guy and huffed. "You got a problem with dat mister?"

Charles ignored the child. "Do you often bring her here Ms. Cabot? Is that appropriate with the type of cases you handle?"

Anger flashed in bright blue eyes. "Firstly, where I decided to take my daughter is none of your concern, Mister Jacobs. Secondly, you'll never make it as an SVU ADA if you can't handle children. They're a huge part of what we do."

It did not go unnoticed by Allie that Alex had called her her daughter and it made the little girl beam.

The young man went to open his mouth but Sophia elbowed him so he bit his tongue.

"In fact," Alex said as she pulled a pad out of her bag and started writing. "a good place for you two to start will be with these files." She ripped the page from the pad and handed it to Sophia. "I'll send another list along later, but for now ADA Novak and I have work to do."

"But we're suppose too..."

This time Casey spoke up. "Your placements aren't written in stone and you both need to know what your getting into. Read the files and be here first thing in the morning."

"Yes Ms. Novak." Sophia said as she tugged on Charles' arm.

As the two young lawyers walked away Alex could hear Charles mutter, "Where not first year law students."

"When it comes to working SVU you are." Alex called after them before heading into Casey's office.

Casey, still holding Allie, followed her inside and closed the door. She set the girl down and watched as Allie did what she always did when she came into her office, went right to her desk and pulled out her iPod. Once the girl was settled in her desk chair with the earphones blocking off anything she might say, Casey stepped closer to Alex and smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" Alex asked in a huff. "Arthur's given us two wet behind the ear kids to teach and one day hand off our department too and your smiling."

"You called Allie your daughter." Casey said smugly.

Alex blinked, mouth open, a nasty comment dying on the tip of her tongue. She replied what she'd said and smiled, a light pink flushing her cheeks. "I did didn't I?" Casey nodded with a bright smile and Alex looked over at the girl who was happily bobbing her head to the music. "Did she seem to react to it? Do you think it hurt her or made her angry?"

Casey blinked. "Hurt or angry? Alex if the kid had smiled and beamed any brighter they'd have seen her in Seattle."

"Liv and I just don't want to push her into anything." Alex explained as she sat on Casey's couch. "It's only been a few months after all."

Casey nodded. "That's understandable. Is that why you two haven't talked official adoption since finding out Sally will never be able to take care of her again?"

Alex nodded. "We want to go with the pace Allie sets."

Pulling the earphones out of her ears Allie looked over at the adults. "My nose twitches are you two talking about me?"

Alex laughed. "What else is there to talk about baby girl?"

Allie smiled, slid off Casey's chair and helped herself to Alex's lap. "Nothing."


	11. Chapter 11

There was a chill to the air that caused all the colorful leaves from the trees that were planted along the edge of the playground to make it look as if the school weren't smack dab in the middle of New York City, to dance around Allie's legs. She giggled as one got stuck on her shoe. It was a really pretty red color so she slipped it off her lace and into her pocket. Alex had said earlier that week that she loved it when the leaves were the deep colors of late fall. So Allie was going to pick a bunch of really good ones and ask Liv to help her put them between wax paper the way Nana Dette had showed her when she was younger.

"I can't wait for Saturday." Molly said.

Allie nodded agreement as she beamed at her friend. She, Molly, and Rachel were all waiting by the door to be let back into the school after recess. "Me and Alex and Livvie are going to go to the store after school so I can buy a new dress."

"Oh! Get one that's fluffy and pink!" Rachel giggled.

She really wasn't into pink so Allie scrunched her nose.

"My mommy had my party dress made for me." Molly beamed. "She said this is a big deal."

"Tea parties are stupid."

All three girls turned to look at who had spoken, and all three groaned. The boy had dark wavy hair, blue eyes, and as far as Allie was concerned koodies. He was a third grade know it all bully and she really disliked him.

"Shut up, T.J." Rachel huffed.

"Yeah go play in the dirt." Allie added as she turned back to her friends. "Captain Don even gave Livvie the day off."

T.J. snorted. "What he do that for? Tried of having a girl around?"

Allie spun around, her tiny seven year old hands on her hips. "He did it so Livvie can come with me and Alex to the tea party."

"You can't go." The little boy said mater of factly.

"Why can't she?" Molly asked.

Something in her tummy told Allie she wasn't going to like T.J.'s reply.

"Because it's for mommies and daughters. Allie doesn't have a mommy."

That made her tummy feel like it did the time Max head butted her in the stomach just after she'd eaten one of those hotdogs from the cart outside the court house. "I have Alex and Livvie. They're coming with me."

"They can't." T.J. insisted. "They're not your mommies. You can't have two mommies. Plus you call them by their names. You can't call a mommy by her name."

Allie felt sad and angry all together. "Alex and Livvie are my mommies and you can too have two mommies!"

"No you can't." T.J. replied as he took a step closer to Allie. "Your only allowed one mommy and one daddy, and you have to come out of your mommy's tummy or it doesn't count."

"That's the dumbest thing ever." Allie huffed. Her hands were at her sides in small fists as she looked at the boy in front of her. "There's no rules about who gets to be a family."

T.J. smirked again, his blue eyes dancing. "Yes there is my daddy says so. He's a lawyer."

"Your daddy's a bonehead and my Alex is a way better lawyer then him." Allie replied as she puffed out her small chest. "My Alex is the bestest lawyer in the world. She puts all the bad guys my Livvie catches in jail forever, where they belong."

"My daddy says that pastakoodies and cops are dirty and nasty and mean, and if Alex puts people in jail she's a pastakooker, and Livvie's a cop so they're dirty, nasty, and mean, and they're not your mommies and you can't go to the tea party so there."

Before she knew what she was doing Allie's right fist was punching T.J in the eye. "Take that back!"

"You hit me!" T.J. squeaked.

Allie pushed T.J. down and sat on him. "Take it back take it back!"

"Benson." Olivia called into her desk phone without taking her eyes from her computer screen. "Yes? She did what? Is she ok? Yes I'll be right there."

Elliot sat at his desk listening to his partner's side of the conversation. He knew the look in the brunette's eyes all to well not because he knew her so well, but because he'd been a parent for such a long time. When Olivia hung of the phone and pushed herself out of her chair he asked, "The kid ok?"

"I need to go to the school. Can you cover for me?" Olivia asked as she pulled her jacket off the back of her chair.

"Sure, but is she ok?" Elliot repeated.

Olivia sighed. "She got into a fight."

Elliot raised an eye brow in surprise. "She hurt?"

"No, the principal said she was ok." Throwing her jacket on Olivia pushed in her chair and turned to go. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Don't worry about it, Liv. Go take care of your kid." Elliot called out.

For the first time since before the phone rang, Olivia smiled. She really liked the idea of Allie being her kid, even if the thought of being a mother still scared her at times. As she drove over to the school she left a voice mail for Alex. "Call me when you get this, Babe. I'm on my way to Allie's school. She gave some kid a black eye and bloody nose."

Sitting outside of Mrs. Kendra's office, Allie tried really hard not to cry. She'd never hit anyone before, but T.J. just made her so mad. She'd also never been in any real trouble in school and she was terrified. What if Alex and Livvie sent her away for this? What if they didn't want a bad girl who hits to live in their home? Allie had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying.

"Allie-Cat?" Olivia said softly, yet with a firmness in her tone. She wasn't sure what to do. She'd never had to deal with her own kid doing something wrong, and the fact that the girl was sitting there trembling just made her want to baby her.

Before Allie could said a word Mrs. Kendra stepped into the doorway of her office. "Detective." She said simply as she stepped out of the way to allow the other woman to enter.

Olivia looked down at Allie as the girl looked up at her. Was that fear in Allie's eyes?

Allie watched as Olivia went into the office.

"She's gonna arrest you." T.J. said from across the room, an ice pack on his eye and tissue in his nose.

"Hush boy." Mrs. Peters said from her desk just outside Mrs. Kendra's door.

Allie looked at the elderly secretary thankfully and then at the principal's door. Would Livvie really arrest her? Her heart seemed to stop beating and she couldn't breath. She sat there and simply stared at the door. When it finally opened again she jumped.

"Allison." Mrs. Kendra said firmly. "Come in now please."

Allie got to her feet and walked into the office with her head down. She walked over to the desk and stood in front of it and next to Olivia who sat in a chair.

"Allie," Olivia said in that soft-firm tone. "Why did you hit, T.J.?"

"He made me mad." Allie answered in the same way she had when Mrs. Kendra had asked.

Olivia reached out and turned Allie so the girl was looking at her. "How did he make you mad?"

"He said stuff." The girl answered.

"What did he say?" Olivia asked.

Just as she had when her principal has asked, Allie clamed up. She couldn't tell them what he said about her and Alex. She couldn't tell them how she felt or Livvie and Alex would leave.

"Allie?" Olivia pushed a little. When the girl said nothing she sighed and looked up at Mrs. Kendra.

Mrs. Kendra sat behind her desk, her hands folded and placed in front of her. "Fighting is something we don't allow here, Allison. I'm going to send you home today and for the rest of the week you will stay inside during recess. I'd also like you to write me something on what you could have done instead of hitting, T.J."

"Yes Ma'am." Allie replied softly.

The ride back to the apartment was a quiet one. Olivia had no idea what to say to the little girl, let alone what to do about this. Every time she looked back at the girl through the review Allie was staring out the window. Sighing she finally asked, "Wanna talk about it?"

"No." Allie replied quickly.

"Why not?" Olivia asked as she turned onto their block.

Allie looked at the back of Olivia's head. "Because."

Olivia sighed as they pulled into a parking space relatively close to their building. Getting out of the car she went to the back door and opened it to let Allie out. Taking the little girl's hand she walked with her up the street and into their building. Just as they walked into their apartment her cell phone rang. "Allie, I want you to go to your room, change out of your uniform while you in there, ok?"

"Ok." Allie replied dejectedly.

Sighing yet again Olivia flipped open her phone. "Benson."

"Where are you? What happened? Is Allie alright?"

Olivia blinked. "We're home, she beat up a kid and got sent home, and she's fine."

Alex sighed in relief. Her heart had stopped when she'd gotten Olivia's message. Once her head was clear she asked, "What do you mean she beat some kid up?"

After flopping onto the couch and taking a deep breath Olivia explained everything the principal had told her. "When the teacher picked her up off the kid she said Allie kept telling him to take it back."

"Take what back?" Alex asked.

"Don't know. Allie won't tell anyone what the kid said." Olivia answered.

Alex huffed. "Who is this kid?"

Olivia smirked. "You won't believe it."

"Who?"

"Trevor Langan Junior." There was a pause before Olivia thought she heard snickering. "Alex are you laughing?"

"No." Alex snickered.

"Your laughing!" Olivia exclaimed as she tried to hide her own giggle.

Alex laughed out right before responding, "Like father like son."

Olivia nodded and smiled brightly. "Well she is our kid."

"That she is." Alex replied before sighing. "What are we gonna do Liv? Langan's kid or not, she can't just punch someone when they make her mad."

Olivia leaned forward to put her elbows on her knees. "I've no idea. What would your mother have done?"

There was another long pause before Alex sighed, "I don't think we want to go there."

"Oh?" Olivia asked.

Alex sighed again. "Mom would have spanked me."

"Your right, we don't wanna go there." This time Olivia sighed. "Mine would have been to drunk to care, or she'd have smacked me around. So we don't use the "What would our mom's have done" handbook. Which leaves us with?"

"Doing things our way." Alex replied. "I'm on my way home. I'm done with court for the day and can work from there. We'll figure it out when I get there."

When Alex arrived home she and Olivia talked for a few minutes before finally knocking on Allie's door. The tiny blonde looked up at the door as she said, "Come in."

"Hi baby girl." Alex said as she walked in and over to the bed.

Normally Allie would have beamed at the sight of Alex but she just didn't feel happy enough, though she was still glad to see her other guardian. "Are you mad at me too?"

"I'm not mad at you, baby girl." Alex said as she reached out and brushed hair from Allie's face. "Neither is Liv, we're just disappointed that you felt like you had to hit someone and won't tell us why."

"He made me mad." Allie repeated her mantra. "He was saying mean things so I hit him."

Olivia sat behind Alex and looked at the girl over her partner's shoulder. "What did you want him to take back?" "What he said." Allie replied.

"What did he say?" Alex tried.

Allie looked at Alex with a look on her face that clearly meant to ask if the older blonde really expected her to fall for that. "Am I in trouble?"

Both women held back yet more sighs. "Hitting someone isn't the best way to deal with being angry, Allie." Alex explained.

"You should have told an adult that he was saying things that hurt you, sweetie." Olivia added.

Allie just shrugged.

Alex looked over her shoulder at Olivia for a moment before looking back at Allie. "We can't just let this slid, baby girl. So since you had to be sent home for fighting we won't be going shopping."

Huge tears welled in tiny blue eyes. "It doesn't matter cause we can't go."

"Why can't we?" Olivia asked as Alex pulled the girl into her lap.

Allie buried her face in Alex's chest and mumbled out something that neither woman could make out. Pulling Allie's head back so she could look at the girl Alex wiped her tears and asked, "Baby, why can't we go to the tea party?"

"Because," Allie hiccupped. "it's only for mommies and their daughters."

Olivia's heart felt as if it was breaking, but she also felt rather angry. The school needed to be more PC, did anyone ever stop to think how a label like 'mother and daughter autumn tea part' might make a kid feel? "Sweetie, the party isn't just for mommies and daughters. Any girl can bring any grown-up they want, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, godmothers, close friends..."

"Guardians." Alex added as she brushed Allie's hair with her fingers.

"Really?" Allie asked.

Alex nodded. "Really."

Allie sighed in relief and rested her head on Alex's chest. "I knew T.J. was lying."

"Is that what he said to make you mad?" Olivia asked. "That we couldn't go because Alex and I aren't your mommies?" Allie nodded. "He also said that you can't have two mommies, and that you have to come out of your mommy's tummy or it doesn't count, and that there were laws about who could be a family. I told him none of that was true but then he said Alex was mean and nasty cause she was a pastakooker, he couldn't even say prosecutor, and that you were mean and nasty too cause your a cop."

Now both women's cheeks flushed a soft pink in anger. After biting the inside of her lip for a moment to stave off her irritation at the whole Langan family, Alex looked the little girl in the eyes. "Trevor Langan Junior isn't a very bright boy, baby girl. There are laws to protect families, even to make new families, but there aren't any laws that say who can be a family."

Allie sighed in relief. She sat in Alex's lap for several more moments with her head resting on the woman's chest, and then sat up. "I'm really sorry I hit him."

"We know sweetie." Olivia said, kissing the girl on the head. "How about Alex and I help you with that assignment Mrs. Kendra gave you after dinner tonight?"

Allie smiled and kissed Olivia's cheek. "Ok." 


	12. Chapter 12

"...I am defying gravity, I am flying high, defying gravity, and soon I'll match them in renown, and nobody in all of OZ, no Wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down!..."

Alex had worried that Allie was a little to young for this show, but now as she watched the brand new eight year old staring at the stage unblinking and very nearly unbreathing she couldn't help but smile. She only wished that Olivia could have come with them. It had never been easy for her to just drop plans when her lover's cell rang, but at least she understood why Olivia had to go. There were tears in Allie's eyes when Olivia explained why she had to go to work instead of coming to the show with them, and Alex knew that a little piece of Olivia's heart had broken.

The sad look had been reflected in the tinted limo window and hadn't brightened until they'd stepped into the Gershwin Theater. The girl's jaw dropped at the maps of OZ that covered the walls. Allie had held her hand so tightly as they made their way to their seats that Alex actually flexed her hand once they were settled. Allie had fidgeted until the lights went down and the show started, she hadn't moved since then.

Allie sat there until the cast of the show came out to take their bows. As soon as "Elphaba" came out she leapt to her feet and cheered. She nearly cried when it was all over with and she and Alex were heading back into the lobby, but her smile came back when Alex took her over to the souvenir booth.

"Go head baby girl pick something out."

Little blue eyes lit up as they looked into bigger blue eyes. "Really?"

Alex laughed. "Yes really, it's your birthday isn't it?"

Allie nodded and nearly ran to the booth. By the time they stepped away from it Alex was carrying two large bags full of stuff. There was an Elphaba "Defy Gravity"t-shirt, a Glinda "Popular" t-shirt, an I love Oz t-shirt, Wicked t-shirts, Shiz University t-shirts, the cast CD, an Elphaba and a Glinda necklace, a set of black, green, and pink band bracelets, a Grimmerie book, posters, a program, and two green monkeys. This didn't include the witch's hat that Allie had proudly atop her head. Olivia was going to kill her when the credit card bill came but her mother had said to buy the girl whatever she wanted. "You only get to go to your first Broadway show once in your life, Alexandra, I'll pay for half."

"Ready for a little bit more?" Alex asked as they made their way through the theater.

Allie was bobbing her head around and tugging her hat to make it just right while singing bits of the songs she'd just heard. "There's more?"

Alex nodded. "Oh yes there's more."

The two of them were able to get into the meet and greet since Alex and Olivia and Alex's mother had all agreed it would be the icing on the cake. Allie stood there looking around and wondering what was going on and then the door in the back of the room opened and she yelped. "Momma look! It's Elphie and Glinda!"

It took several moments for anything Allie said past momma to sink into Alex's head. It had been the first time Allie had ever called her anything other then Alex. Alex didn't know if she should pick the girl up and swing her around, cry, or ask Allie if she knew what she'd just said. Finally she simply smiled a smile so bright it lit up the room. "I know baby girl. Go say hi."

Allie blinked and looked up at Alex. "Really?"

"Really."

By the time two made it home (with pictures of Allie with the actresses in and out of costume and make-up) Alex had to carry Allie up to their apartment, her witch's hat still on her head. She put their bags by the door and carried the half asleep child who was still smiling and muttering songs from the show, into her room.

"My hat." Allie mumbled when Alex tried to take the hat off.

Alex laughed. "Baby you can't sleep in the hat you'll bend the brim of it. Do you think Elphie sleeps in her hat?" Allie shook her head and let Alex take the hat, which Alex placed on the night stand. Then she changed the little girl out of her special theater dress and into her favorite nightshirt. Leaning down Alex kissed Allie's forhead.

"Thank you." Allie mumbled half asleep. "This was the bestest night ever!"

Alex smiled. "Your welcome baby girl."

Allie yawned and snuggled into her bed. "Goodnight Momma. I love you."

This time tears did spring to Alex's eyes. "Goodnight baby I love you too."

When Olivia came home sometime around one in the morning she found her lover sitting on their couch with a box of tissues, crying, and smiling like an idiot. "Alex?"

Alex looked up at Olivia and sniffled. "She called me momma."

Olivia grinned brightly and sat next to her. "Oh sweetie that's great!"

The next morning both women were sitting at the table waiting for Allie to get up but the girl seemed to be sleeping in. When Olivia finally went to her room to wake her up she found the girl sitting in her bed crying. "Allie-Kat?"

When Allie looked up her eyes were full of tears, panic, and fear.

"Allie honey what's the matter?" Olivia asked as she quickly sat beside the girl, pulling her to her.

Allie sobbed. "Alex is gonna leave!"

Olivia blinked. "Leave? Sweetie why would Alex leave?"

"Because..." Allie cried.

Olivia held the girl tightly. "Because why?"

Allie became angry and pushed away from Olivia. "Because I called her momma!"

Again Olivia blinked. "Allie?"

"Leave me alone!" Allie yelled and then ran to her closet to hide.

When Alex heard Allie yelling she quickly made her way down the hall. Walking into the girl's room she was able to catch a flash of the child slamming her closet door. "What happened?"

Shaking off her stun Olivia sighed and looked up at Alex. "She thinks your going to leave because she called you momma."

This time Alex blinked. Walking over to the closest she knocked on the door before she opened it. "Allie come out and talk please."

"NO!"

"Allie." Alex said firmly.

Sighing Allie crawled out of the closest and suddenly flung herself at Alex, wrapping her arms around her. "Please don't leave me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Alex picked the girl up and carried her over to the bed were she sat with Allie in her lap. "I'm not going anywhere, baby girl. What are you sorry about?"

"I called you momma and now your going to leave." Allie mumbled out.

Inside Alex's heart was breaking. "No, baby, no I'd never leave because you called me momma. Allie," She forced the girl to look at her. "sweetie when you called me momma it was one of the most special moments in my life, just like the first time Livvie told me she loved me."

"But.." Allie sniffled. "But, your gonna get sick and leave me just like my real mommy did."

Alex wrapped her arms around the girl. They still knew so little about Allie's birth mother. From what they could find out she had postpartum so badly that she simply left. "Allie I'm not going to get sick and leave you because I'm your mommy now and neither is Liv."

Allie looked up at her. "Your not?" Alex shook her head so then Allie looked at Olivia. "Your not either?"

"Allie do you know what adoption means?" Olivia asked as she reached out and pulled the girl onto her lap.

Allie nodded. "Means for real and legal."

Olivia smirked, a fuzzy image of a future lawyer dancing in the back of her imagination. "Yeap, it means that you'd be our daughter for real and legal. Would you like that?"

"So you and Alex will be my forever mommies?" Olivia nodded. "And if I call you mommy and Alex momma you're not gonna get sick in the head and go away?"

"Sweetie, you didn't make your mother sick, she just got sick is all, and no we won't get sick and we won't leave you." Olivia answered and then kissed Allie. "And I'd be honored if you called me mommy."

Allie threw her arms around Olivia's neck and hugged tightly. Then she reached over and wrapped an arm around Alex's neck. "Then yes! I'd like to be real and forever." The three of them sat there hugging and crying until Allie's tummy rumbled.

Olivia laughed as she wiped at tears on her own cheeks. "Sounds like someone's hungry."

Allie blushed. "A little."

Alex set the little girl on her feet and then stood herself. "Then lets go eat."

With a hand in each of her own Allie headed for the door of her room but then stopped. She let go of Alex and Olivia's hands and raced back to her bed. She picked up her witch's hat and settled it properly atop her head and then spun around. "Ok I'm ready."

Both Alex and Olivia laughed. 


	13. Chapter 13

Sitting at the kitchen table working on her math homework with Alex, Allie was watching the older blonde as Alex explained how to borrow in subtraction. Just as Alex was picking out a problem for Allie to do, Alex's cell phone rang. Allie's hand shot out before Alex had a change to grab the phone. The girl smiled brightly as she flipped it open to answer it.

"Benson-Cabot." She said into the phone in a perfect imitation of how her new mothers answered. "Hi Captain Don! Yes she's here hold on please." Allie beamed brightly at her mother as she handed Alex her cell phone. "It's for you Momma." She giggled at the 'well duh' look she got as Alex took the phone.

"Yes Don?" Alex said into the phone.

Allie went back to her homework and missed the color draining from her mother's face. She knew not to listen to closely to her mothers' conversations because if whoever it was called their cell phones rather then the apartment she knew it meant work, unless of course they were out.

"Is she.. yes, alright I'll be right there." Alex snapped the phone shut and sat there for several moments before she was finally able to collect herself. "Baby girl, I need to run out for a while. I'm going to call Mrs. Margolis and ask if she'll come over to stay with you."

"Ok Momma." Allie replied without looking up from her homework. It wasn't until Alex was out of the room that she remembered she needed her permission slip signed so she could go to the museum. Pulling the slip of paper out of her take home folder she ran out into the living room. Her mother was sitting on the couch clutching the cordless phone so hard her knuckles were white. "Momma?"

Alex looked up and tried to smile. "Yes baby?"

"Momma are you ok?" Allie asked as she walked over and put her hand on Alex's cheek.

Alex did smile a little. "I'm fine sweetie. Say what do you got there?"

Allie held up her slip. "We're going to the art museum next week. I need you or Mommy to sign it."

Taking the piece of paper from the girl Alex read it over and then pulled a pen from her brief case which she'd left on the coffee table. "There you go baby girl."

The little girl took the paper back and then sat next to her mother. She'd been with Alex and Olivia well over a year now and she felt she knew them pretty well. She knew something wasn't right, but she also knew her mother wouldn't tell her what it was about. There were just certain things about their jobs that made Alex and Olivia sad and they wanted to keep her safe from that world. Climbing into her mother's lap Allie kissed her cheek.

"What was that for?" Alex asked as she cuddled her daughter.

"You look like you needed it." Allie replied as she cuddled back.

Alex held the little girl to her as if she were a life line. Allie was use to this too. Sometimes kids were involved with her mothers' work and when they came home they needed to hold her and cuddle her and make sure she was safe. Which was fine with her because she needed to make sure they were alright too.

When Mrs. Margolis came up from her apartment she and Alex spoke out of Allie's ear shot, but she could see that the older woman was comforting Alex. Something was really wrong.

After talking to Mrs. Margolis, Alex came back over and kissed Allie. "I'll be home as soon as I can baby girl. Be good for Mrs. Margolis."

"I'm always good Momma." Allie reassured her mother.

Mrs. Margolis smiled. "That she is. Call when you have news dear."

"I will." Alex promised and then headed out of the apartment. She practically ran down the stairs rather then wait for the elevator, and then jumped into her car. She was awful glad she had her DA badge on her because she wasn't paying attention to her speed, and the way she cut in and out of traffic would have made Olivia sick. Pulling into the first parking space available in the hospital lot Alex threw the car in park and barely remembered to grab her keys. She ran through the emergency doors and quickly scanned the room. Cragen, Munch, and Casey were standing there waiting.

"Where is she?" Alex asked as she walked up to them.

"She's in surgery, Alex. They took her up as soon as they got her here." Don said calmly as he ushered his ADAs and Munch into a private room. 

Alex wasn't sure what she was drawing on to keep herself from shaking in fear but she hoped it held out. "What the hell happened?"

"We were staking out a suspect at the bus terminal." Munch began. "Elliot was working the window with the informant and Liv was with Fin and me out in the crowds. Gitano made Elliot when the clerk kept eyeing him like scared rabbit. He ran, Liv followed. Elliot went after her, Fin and I started combing the crowds for the kids. By the time Elliot got there Liv was between Gitano and the little boy. Elliot..."

"He didn't have a choice, Alex." Don added in.

Alex turned cold eyes on the older man. "What do you mean he didn't have a choice?"

Don, Munch, and Casey all looked at each other before Munch put a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Elliot went for the kid. Gitano lunged for Liv. He cut her throat before stabbing her."

Alex's knees gave out under her and Munch quickly grabbed her and helped her to a chair.

"There was already a bus on the scene. They got her here as quickly as they could." Don said.

"Gitano?" Alex asked.

Casey sat next to Alex and put an arm around her. "He got away in the panic. Elliot and Fin are out there looking for him and the little girl. The little boy, Ryan, is in PEDs with his father."

Dr. Beresford knocked lightly on the open door before stepping in. He'd worked with the unit enough times to know who he needed to address. "Ms. Cabot."

Alex's head popped up. "How's Olivia?"

"She's still in surgery." The doctor replied. "She's alive but critical. I'll keep you as updated as I can." He paused before adding, "When you can, there's some forms that need filling out. Olivia has you down as her medical power of attorney."

"Yeah." Alex said dazed before looking over at Casey. "The papers.. I think their in the car."

Casey stood and nodded. "I'll get them Alex. Don't worry. Who's with Allie? Want me to call Reenie?"

Alex nodded numbly. Her mind raced. She knew, as an ADA, that choices in the field often had to be made quickly. The part of her that loved Olivia, however, was screaming that Elliot should have saved Liv. Then there was the part of her, which was strong now since becoming a mother, that was glad the boy was safe. "How close was Gitano to the boy?"

"Alex..." Don said, knowing where this was leading.

Alex turned angry cold eyes on him and Munch both. "Was there enough space between Olivia, the boy, and Gitano for Elliot to have protected them both?"

There was no reply and the next question came from years of knowing what kind of cop Elliot was. "Did Gitano attack Olivia before or after Elliot reacted?"

"Alex what's done is done." Don said in a weak attempt to settle the matter.

Fiery blue eyes pinned Munch the way she'd pinned a prep on the stand. "Was Gitano alone or did he have a hostage?"

"He was alone." Munch answered despite the look from Cragen.

"Could Olivia have gotten off a shot before he had a chance to reach her or the boy and without hurting bystanders?" Alex asked hotly.

Munch nodded.

"Thank you, John." Alex said, her voice suddenly calm. "Excuse me, I better get Liv's medical forms filled out." She added when Casey came in with the legal documents she needed.

"Do I want to know what that was about?" The strawberry blonde asked.

Both men shook their heads, but Munch answered as well. "No, but I think someone needs to call Elliot and tell him to stay clear of this place for now."

The next time Dr. Beresford came into the room he'd explained that Olivia was still critical but that they'd been able to repair the wound to her neck and that she'd been lucky on that front because the knife hadn't hit any arteries. The wound in her abdomen however was another story because the knife had had a hooked end, it had done more damage. Alex stood by the window looking out over the busy street. Her mother, who Casey had called, was sitting close by as was Munch. The blonde hadn't said much since the doctor had come in and everyone was starting to worry.

When Fin stepped into the small room he asked, "How's Liv?"

But before anyone could answer him Alex had turned around. Elliot was standing next to Fin and suddenly Alex had tunnel vision. "You were suppose to watch out for her!" She hissed. "She's your partner!"

"I had to get..."

"You had to play the hero!" Alex yelled as she got in Elliot's face. "Your sad, pathetic, need to play the fucking macho super cop who always saves the victim and catches the bad guy first, has a woman who is ten times the cop you ever will be, laying on an operating table fighting for her life! Your a selfish, egotistical, bastard!" With that she smacked him so hard Elliot staggered back. "Get out! Stay the fuck away from her!" Then out of spite she added, "It's so painfully evident now why Kathy left you! The world does not revolve around Elliot Stabler super-fuck!"

"Alexandra." Caroline said gently as she put a hand on her daughter's back.

Elliot was bout to jerk towards Alex, his anger turning his scrunched face beet red, but Fin and Don quickly pulled him down the hall.

Taking hold of Alex's hand her mother pressed her cell phone into her other. "Come on, Alexandra. Lets take a bit of a walk so you can call your daughter. Allison must be worried by now."

"Yeah, I'll call if there's any word." Casey added.

Alex simply nodded and allowed her mother to lead her out of the hospital. She refused to go any further then she needed too to use the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Serena." Alex said a bit hoarsely. "Can I speak with Allie, please. "

"Sure hold on."

There was a bit of a pause before there was a voice on the other end. "Momma?"

Alex sank onto the step behind her. "Hi baby girl."

"Momma where are you? Where's Mommy?"

There was deep concern in the little girl's voice. She couldn't tell their daughter that Olivia was in surgery because she'd been stabbed, at least not over the phone. "Something's come up sweetie. Mommy and I won't be home tonight. Aunt Reenie's going to stay with you and Aunt Casey will be there soon. Grandma and I will be home as soon as we can ok?"

"What about Mommy?"

Tears flowed down Alex's face, but she kept them out of her voice. "Mommy too."

"Will you and Mommy call back to say goodnight?"

Alex couldn't say anything.

"Momma?"

"Yes baby girl we'll call back to say good." Alex finally got out.

"Ok. Be careful Momma. Tell Mommy to be safe too. Tell Uncle Elliot to watch her back, ok? He keeps her safe for us. That's what he promised."

Alex's face flushed red with anger. If she saw Elliot again anytime soon she'd kill him. "Baby I have to go back now. Why don't you do your Wicked show for Aunt Reenie."

"Ok! Bye Momma! I love you! Tell Mommy I love her too!"

"I will baby. I love you."

When the line went out Alex broke down in her own mother's arms. When they went back inside Alex resumed her place by the window to wait on word on her love. 


	14. Chapter 14

The oddest memories were playing out in Alex's mind as she sat, curled, into the end of the waiting room couch. Spending weeks making Olivia help her look for an apartment for herself when she'd first come back, only to find one, spend a year and a half decorating it, then turn around six months later and put it back on the market because she and Olivia were going to get a place together. Going to the animal shelter and finding Max and then giving him to Olivia, and watching them spend hours in the park on Saturdays while Olivia trained him. Dunking her beautiful brunette detective in a dunk tank at a charity street fair. 

The way Olivia's face softened in a whole new why the first time Allie called her Mommy. The tears in Olivia's eyes as she signed the adoption papers. The way she'd twirled Allie around the first time the family court judge called her Allison Benson-Cabot. The way Olivia looked standing next to her mother's grave when she'd slipped away from the entirely to huge adoption party her own mother had thrown in honor of her new granddaughter.

Caroline sat next to Alex and pulled her daughter into her arms. It was well after one in the morning and there were only three people left in the room. Munch had gone home but promised to stop by before going into the station. Casey went to stay with Serena and Allie. Don sat on the other side of the room watching the door like a stubborn bulldog. Fin had stopped in alone, bringing food for everyone. And to his credit Elliot was no where in sight. Reaching out, Caroline took Alex's wallet out of her hand and smiled at the picture of Allie and Olivia at the Central Park Zoo that it held. "I've never meet anyone who loves the zoo as much as those two."

Alex snuggled into her mother's arms and tried to fight off sleep. "They want to spend the summer zoo hopping. They keep watching this ultimate zoo show on Animal Planet so their list keeps getting longer." Alex yawned. "I think we'll do it. Liv never did the zoo thing as a kid."

She knew her daughter would be cross with her when she woke up but Caroline couldn't let her child fight off the rest she needed, so she slowly started to rock Alex. "Sounds like a wonderful summer holiday for all three of you. No doubt you'll have no problems finding plenty of shopping in the cities you go to." She replied before softly starting to hum the same melody she use to sing for Alex when she was Allie's age.

Alex yawned again. "I could find a Neiman-Marcus in Antarctica."

Caroline chuckled as Alex finally drifted off. "Yes my darling girl you could."

Sometime after dawn Dr. Beresford and another doctor stepped into the room. Caroline quickly, but gently, shook Alex awake. At the sight of the two men in scrubs standing by the door Alex jumped to her feet, instantly awake. "Olivia?"

"Critical still but she pulled through the surgery just find." Beresford said with a small tired smile.

The older doctor nodded. "We were able to repair the damage but the next seventy-two hours will be crucial. We'll be watching for infection and rate of healing. If she pulls through the next three days she should be fine."

"That's to many damn ifs and shoulds." Alex hissed.

The older doctor took no offence. This wasn't his first cop caught in the line of duty. Their families normally tended to be more emotional then most. "That is the best I can do for now, young lady. We've moved Detective Benson into recovery for the rest of the night. She'll be placed in a room in the morning. I recommend you go home and get some sleep."

If her mother hadn't have had a hold on her arm Alex would have followed the doctor and given him a piece of her mind on his bedside manner. As it was she simply stood there watching him, wishing he'd trip over something.

"Doctor Franklin's right, Ms. Cabot." Beresford said softly as he placed a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder. "Go home and get some sleep. Olivia will be moved into her own room around nine o'clock. Come back then. You'll be the first to see her."

Alex was reluctant to leave, but the only thing as strong as her need to be with Olivia was her need to hold their little girl.

"I'll call the boys and give them the update." Don said as he took Alex's hand a moment and squeezed it gently. "I'll make sure they hold back before coming to see her."

Alex nodded a thanks to Don and then watched as he left. Once the captain was out of sight she looked at Beresford. "Elliot Stabler isn't to be allowed anywhere near Olivia. I don't even want him on her floor. I'll sign whatever I have too to do it."

Beresford looked at Alex, then her mother, then back at Alex. "That's your choice as her MPOA. I'll get the paperwork."

When Beresford was gone Caroline asked, "Alexandra, was that necessary?"

"Yes." Was Alex's simple reply before following the doctor out.

Alex and Caroline slipped into the apartment as quietly as they could so they wouldn't wake up anyone. Serena and Casey were in the guest room so Caroline said she'd be fine on the sofa. Alex simply nodded and headed for Allie's room. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw her daughter's bed empty.

"She's in your bed." Came a sleepy voice from down the hall. Casey was standing in the doorway of the guest room in a pair of sweats. "She knows something's not right, Alex. You need to talk to her."

"I will." Alex said as she headed for her and Olivia's bedroom.

"How is she?" Casey asked.

"In recovery. I'm going back first thing in the morning." Alex answered just outside her room.

Casey nodded. "I'll make sure your cases are covered, Alex. Don't sweat it."

"Thanks." Alex replied simply before slipping into her bedroom and closing the door.

Allie was sound asleep in the middle of the bed with her wicked witch's hat on Olivia's pillow, her stuffed Elphie and Glinda teddy bears on Alex's, and the old NYPD t-shirt they'd given her when she'd first gotten there clutched in her tiny hand. Alex just stood there and watched her daughter sleep until she felt her knees getting weak. She fought the urge to slide down the door and curl up into a ball, but only barely. Instead she walked into the bathroom and got ready for bed. When she came out she slipped into bed next to Allie and drew the girl to her. Allie snuggled into Alex without waking up.

When Alex woke up she felt a tiny pair of eyes watching her. Opening her own eyes she smiled at the little girl who was laying next to her and looking up at her. "Good morning baby girl."

"Morning Momma. Did you get 'em?" Allie replied with a tiny blink of blue eyes.

"Did I get who?" Alex asked as she held the girl tightly and took in a deep breath of her green apple kids shampoo.

Allie giggled. "Did you and Mommy get the bad guy that kept you out so late?"

Suddenly everything from the previous day came flooding back and Alex wrapped her arms around her daughter as if she'd never let go. "I don't know if they've got him yet." She answered.

"Is that why Mommy didn't come home too?" There was concern and even a touch of fear laced in Allie's voice. "Was she out with Uncle Elliot looking for the bad guy when you called to say good night? She forgot to call me too."

Alex sat up and pulled Allie into her lap. She kissed the girl's forehead and cuddled her for a moment before sighing. "Baby, Mommy didn't forget to call you. You know she'd never forget to do that." Alex paused to take a deep breath that she hoped would calm her nerves. "Mommy couldn't call you last, baby girl."

"Why not?" Allie asked. She didn't like the way her mother was acting, the look in her eyes, or the way her body was trembling. "Momma what happened to Mommy?"

Alex didn't say anything.

"Momma?"

Alex sighed and held Allie tighter. "She was hurt doing her job, baby."

Tears welled and fell quickly down Allie's cheeks. "Is she ok? Was she shot? Is she..." Panic caused the little girl to go stone cold ridged.

"She's in the hospital baby." Alex said reassuringly as she started to rock gently. "A bad man stabbed her with a knife and Captain Don and Uncle Munch made sure she got to the hospital really fast. She was in surgery all night and the doctors did everything they could to make sure she'd get better."

"Did you get to see her?" Allie asked as she laid her head down on Alex's chest. "Did she say she was ok?"

Tears now fell from Alex's eyes. "I saw her for a moment before I left. She was sleeping, baby, but I know she's going to be just fine."

"Bubbe wasn't fine." Allie reminded her mother. "She got worser in the hospital."

"This isn't the same sweetheart. Mommy's younger then Bubbe and she's in really good health. She's going to get better and be just fine, just like Uncle Munch was when he got shot. Do you remember going to see him?"

Allie sniffled and then giggled. "He got shot in the buuuuttttt."

Alex laughed and then cuddled Allie again. "Baby girl do you wanna know why I know Mommy will get better and come home?" Allie nodded as she looked into Alex's eyes. "Because she loves us very much."

After having breakfast and promising Allie that she could come see Olivia as soon as she was awake, Alex headed back to the hospital. When she got there she was told Olivia had been moved to her own room and was critical but stable. Slipping into the hospital room Alex's heart broke. Olivia was so pale laying there hooked into IVs and monitors and tubes. Walking over she stood by Olivia's bed and ran her fingers through her lover's dark hair.

"Oh God, Liv." She whispered as she sank into chair, tears flowing freely down her face. "Don't you dare make a lier out of me." 


	15. Chapter 15

Stepping into the hospital for the second morning in a row, Alex headed towards the elevators that would take her up to Olivia's room. For the first time since she'd been home she had nothing else on her mind but Olivia and their daughter. Work seemed a thousand miles away. Her cases were being handled by Jacobs and Munroe. She and Casey still questioned Jacobs' abilities, but Munroe was turning out to be better then they'd thought. This was a good thing because Alex had a feeling Arthur wasn't just making them teach the kids the ropes, but training their replacements. She knew that within the next year two bureau chief potions would be open and she and Casey were always on his short list. Alex smiled to herself as she rounded a corner. Ok so maybe work wasn't completely off her mind. Her rare smile faded quickly when she heard a familiar voice bellowing down the hallway.

"What do you mean you can't tell me where she is?" The voice asked.

There was a sigh. "You're not on her approved list of visitors, Detective Stabler."

"Who the hell approves her visitors if she's still unconscious?" Elliot demanded.

Alex stepped into view. "I do."

Elliot turned to look at the jean and tee clad blonde. "You banned me from seeing my own partner?"

"I banded you from seeing the woman who was nearly killed because of you." Alex countered, standing her ground.

"You have no right!" Elliot growled.

Alex stood at her full height which was still an inch taller then the gruff cop even out of heels. "I'm her domestic partner and I hold her power of attorney as well as her medical power attorney. I have every right."

Elliot advanced on Alex and stood so close they were nearly nose to nose. He was so angry that he couldn't seem to form the right words.

"Do you have something to say Detective or shall I have the nurse go ahead and call security to have you removed?" Alex said once she was sure he wasn't going to say anything.

"You can't keep me away from her, Cabot." He growled. "She's my partner, my friend."

"When Olivia wakes up if she chooses to see you then fine, but until then you're not getting near her." Alex hissed. "She wouldn't be up there if it weren't for you."

He wanted to hit her but managed not to. "You have no idea how many times I've wished you'd never come back."

That really hurt and Alex's defensive side told her to hurt back. "She'd have never loved you wither I was around or not." And with that Alex walked away.

She quietly fumed the whole ride up to the floor where Olivia's room was. She'd just managed to get herself in check when the door opened and she stepped out. She nodded to the nurses as she walked down the hall and then took a deep breath before walking into the room.

"Good morning, Ms. Cabot." Olivia's nurse said with a grin as she looked up from Olivia's chart.

Alex gave her a genuine smile. Of all the nurses she was getting to know she liked this one the best. She was an older woman with a very kind heart, and two sons on the force. "How's she doing this morning, Elma?"

"The doctor has already been in to see her and there is no sign of infection. Everything is healing properly and he's taken her off the sedative." Elma reported with a smile. "She should be waking up in a few hours."

Alex sighed and relax, her shoulders straightening as if something heavy had just been lifted from them. "Thank Heaven." She breathed.

Once Elma had finished and gone, Alex settled into the chair next to Olivia and took her hand. Leaning down she kissed it very gently. "Your going to be fine baby, did you hear? Now all we need is for you to wake up."

She spent the morning telling Olivia about Allie and her ideas for their summer vacation. Alex couldn't remember the last time she'd talked so much and so aimlessly, but she couldn't stand the stillness of the room, the quiet that was only broken by the sound of the machines Olivia was hooked too. She'd even resorted to telling stories about being in witness protection a couple of times, and they hardly ever talked about that time in their lives anymore. Sometime after noon there was a knock on the door and it made Alex look up. When it opened a crack and an old white hand pushed through holding a brown paper bag, she smiled.

"Pastrami or corned beef?"

"Corned beef with lots of mustard." Munch replied as he came fully into the room. "Brought real coffee too, the stuff they got here is crap." He held up a cardboard cup holder with two styrofoam cups, while keeping the door open. "Lets head downstairs to the lounge for a little while."

Alex would have protested but it hadn't worked the day before so she knew it wasn't likely to work this time either. She stood up and then leaned down to kiss Olivia's forehead, "I'll be right back." She whispered before following Munch out of the room. They went down to a small lounge with a skylight and flowerboxes and settled in on a bench. She took the sandwich and coffee and smiled after sipping the coffee. "Oh this is much better."

Munch smiled as he took the lid off his own coffee. "How is she?"

"Better, the doctors say she's out of the woods and they've taken her off the sedative. It's just a matter of time now." Alex replied. "I hate waiting."

"How's Allie?" He asked next. There was something he wanted to get at, but he wanted to ease into it.

"Scared, worried, but trying really hard to hide it." Alex answered as she picked at her sandwich. "She's terrified that Liv's not going to come back, that she'll get sicker like Sally did."

Munch nodded. "It's a lot for a kid to take in and process. It's a lot for anyone to process, the fear, the worry, the anger."

Piercing blue eyes suddenly looked up. "You got something to say Munch say it."

"I get that you're angry and need someone to blame, but this really isn't Elliot's fault." He replied bluntly.

"He's a hothead." Alex said as she wrapped her sandwich up and put it down on the bag beside her. "He doesn't stop to think, he wants what he wants and he wants it now and everyone else be damned."

"That's never bothered you before. You've even done it yourself a few times."

Alex flinched and then became angry. She turned to look at Munch, her eyes an icy blue. "It should have bothered me. I'm all for getting the sick freaks off the street, but there's a limit, there has to be a limit. Other wise innocent people get hurt."

"If he could have done it…"

"He'd have done it the same way." Alex cut in. "He got the result he wanted and he got damn lucky." Alex sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Thanks for lunch but I need to get back upstairs. I'll call when she wakes up."

She couldn't believe Munch was trying to get her to look past this. Though she should have known they'd stick together, and somewhere inside she knew even Olivia would say that Elliot did want he thought was best. The problem is that Elliot's an idiot. She took the long way back to Olivia's room because she wanted some of her irritation to ware off before she went back in. Slipping back into Olivia's room Alex leaned against the door, closed her eyes, and sighed.

"I hope I'm not the reason you're pissed off."

The horse voice and staggered words made Alex's eyes fly open. For a moment she thought she was dreaming the dark eyes that were looking at her, but then came the weak but real smile. "Liv!" 


	16. Chapter 16

Standing by the window Alex watched as the doctor looked Olivia over. Her bright blue eyes never left Olivia's dark ones. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so tense and so relived all at once. When the doctor finally stepped back Alex realized that she'd been holding her breath.

"Everything looks good, Decretive." Beresford said with a warm smile. "You're probably looking at a week at least before we can start thinking about sending you home because of the injury to your stomach, but we're off to a good start. You might start feeling some pain, so I'll have the nurse come in and hook up a self-release morphine drip. Got any questions?"

"Is this how a gutted trout feels?" Olivia asked, her voice still a bit scratchy from being dry. Beresford laughed. "I'm pretty sure it's real close." He then nodded an acknowledgment to Alex. "I'll be back in a few hours."

As Beresford made his way towards the door, Alex made her way to Olivia. Taking her love's hand as she sat in the chair next to her, Alex continued to look into dark brown eyes, as tears once again welled in her own.

"I'm so sorry I scared you." Olivia whispered as she lifted the hand without an IV in it, to wipe tears from Alex's face.

"Don't ever do it again." Alex replied as she pressed Olivia's hand to her cheek.

Olivia smirked weakly. "Trust me, this isn't an experience I want to repeat." Olivia held her smile for just a moment longer. Alex might have been trying for a light hearted moment, but Olivia could see the gauntlet of emotion swirling in her love's blue eyes. Taking Alex's hand she squeezed it as best she could. "How's Allie?"

"She's scared, Liv." Alex answered as she wrapped both her hands around Olivia's. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to let go now that she had a tight hold on her. When she felt Olivia moving she took her eyes from her love's and then narrowed her own. Olivia was trying to sit up with a sheer look of pain on her face. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Sitting up." Olivia replied.

Alex put her hands on Olivia's shoulders and shook her head. "No, you're not. Stop it, Liv, you'll hurt yourself."

Olivia sighed and stopped. "I want to talk to Allie."

"Then why didn't you just ask for the phone?" Alex huffed as she reached over to the bedside table and picked up the beige hospital phone. Without waiting for an answer she dialed the apartment. "Hi Mom. No, everything's fine. Olivia's awake. Yes she's alright. She wants to talk to Allie. Ok."

Talking the receiver from Alex, Olivia held it to her ear and closed her eyes.

"It's MEEEEEEEE." Allie sung into the phone.

Olivia felt tears stinging her eyes. The only thing more beautiful then the sound of her daughter's voice, was Alex's. "Hi Allie-Cat."

There was a brief pause on the other end before Allie screamed. "MOMMY!"

Olivia smiled as she opened her eyes to look at Alex. She didn't need hearing in that ear anyway. "Miss me?" "A whole lot." Allie replied. "Are you all better, Mommy? Are you coming home? Why was you asleep so long? Momma and I were scared that the bad man hurt you bad like Bubbe."

The seasoned detective melted into tears that her lover wiped off her cheeks as she tried to reply without sounding to shaken up. "I'm getting better, Allie-Cat. The doctors say I can maybe come home in a week, but you can come see me now. The doctors kept me sleeping so my body could heal." Olivia took a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry I scared you baby." 

"Momma said you were trying to save a little boy when the bad man attacked you." Allie replied. "I don't like the bad man and I don't like the little boy either." Allie huffed in a way that reminded Olivia of Alex. "I miss you Mommy. Please come home."

"I will baby as soon as I can." It was getting harder to keep the emotion out of her voice, but Olivia swallowed it down a little longer. "As soon as we find out when you can come Grandma will bring you to see me, ok?"

"Ok Mommy." Allie's voice shook. "Mommy, do you have wires and tubes like Bubbe did?"

Olivia looked around and nodded as if she could be seen by the child on the other end. "Yeah, I do. It's ok through, they're helping me get better."

"You're not gonna have a stork like Bubbe are you?"

The fear in her daughter's voice hurt more then the stab wound. "No, the doctor said I'm healing just fine. Everything's going to be ok now, Allie-Cat. I promise."

"Ok Mommy." Allie replied.

"I love you baby."

"I love you too, Mommy."

Taking the phone from Olivia, Alex talked to Allie for a few moments before telling her mother when evening visiting hours were. After she placed the phone back on the bedside table the blond very carefully laid down on the very edge of the bed next to Olivia. "She'll be ok now that's she's heard your voice, Liv."

Olivia was quiet for a long time. She simply laid there with her eyes closed, taking in the feel of Alex next to her. She was never going to get use to that feeling of knowing your life could change in the single tick of a second hand on a watch. Several more minutes passed before Olivia asked, "What happened Alex? Everything's still a blur."

Alex had been hoping she wouldn't have to answer this, but knew she would anyway. "Gitano spooked when Stabler grabbed the boy. He lunged at you, cut your throat before stabbing you."

"Ryan?"

"He's fine and so is Rebecca." Alex reassured. "Stabler and Fin found her in a warehouse. They're both at home with their father."

"Gitano?"

"Dead." Alex answered. "Sniper killed him."

Olivia was quiet again. She tried to remember, playing back flashes of memory, she finally sighed and closed her eyes. Elliot had gone for Ryan rather then Gitano. She'd thought she'd had Ryan covered, but maybe she missed something. Maybe Elliot had seen something she hadn't. Something wasn't right. The tone in Alex's voice, the way she called Elliot by his last name. It didn't feel right. "I need to talk to Elliot."

"Tomorrow baby, when your stronger." Alex replied. "I need you to myself for right now, Liv. We'll deal with everything else later." 


	17. Chapter 17

Laying in her hospital bed looking at a picture that Allie had made for her, Olivia tried yet again to make sense of everything that had happened. It bothered her that she'd come so close to hurting the two people she loved the most by nearly getting herself killed, and for the first time in her career she was actually thinking that it might be time for a change. She felt torn between two worlds that until now seemed to at least coincide with each other. Sighing Olivia put her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes. She opened them again at the sound of a knock on her door. The dark eyed detective smiled as she watched Elliot walk in.

"Hey." Elliot said as he came closer to the bed. "How ya feelin'?"

"I've felt better and I've felt worse." Olivia replied and then smirked. "I think."

Elliot nodded as he sat in the chair next to her bed. "You gonna be ok?"

Olivia nodded. "That's what they're telling me." There was a tension and awkwardness between her and Elliot that she'd expected since Alex had told her what she'd done, but she was still surprised by it. "I hear the kids are alright."

"As right as any of them are after shit like this happens to them." Elliot replied as he leaned forward a little. He avoided looking Olivia in the eyes for several silent minutes before finally looking up and asking, "So where's your blond watch dog?" "Elliot." Olivia said softly and then sighed at the hardness in his face. "She took Allie to school this morning and was going to swing by the office."

Elliot laughed gruffly. "She didn't want to be here when I got here. I'm surprised she's letting me see you."

"She was scared Elliot." On top of everything else having Alex and Elliot at each other wasn't helping. She couldn't really say she felt as if she were put in the middle because as much as she loved Elliot, Alex was her heart.

"She had me band from seeing you, Liv." The color in Elliot's face was starting to rise the way it did when he was getting upset. It started at the tips of his ears and at the back of his neck and then just kind of spread like a wild fire. "Don't give me that she was scared shit. She fucking blames me for what happened and that's just bullshit."

Olivia couldn't help herself. She knew she should have been trying to smooth things out with Elliot and Alex, but she had to ask, she had to know. "Why didn't you go after Gitano?"

Elliot's eyes became as hard as he face. "Why didn't you shoot him?"

"There were innocents around and I didn't want t risk it."

"How could you let him get so close to you?"

How was this becoming her fault? "I was standing between him and Ryan, keeping him out of Gitano's reach. Why didn't you go for Gitano instead of Ryan? I had him covered Elliot, you should have went for Gitano."

"I went for the vic, you let Gitano get to close to you and you almost ended up dead." Elliot's face was red and his pulse thumped visibly at his temples. 

Olivia pushed herself up into a better position to look at him despite the pain that caused little stars in her vision. "So this is my fault?"

"I can't do this Liv." Elliot said as he got to his feet. "I need to know you can do your job without me having to keep my eye on you to make sure you don't get hurt."

"You son of a bitch!" Now Olivia's color was rising. "I don't need a goddamned protector to watch me like I was some damn rookie!"

Elliot grunted and growled as he trudged over to the window. He looked out over the city through the slits of the mini-blind as his chest rose and fell in a silent huff.

Olivia felt numb as she simply watched him. How the hell had this ended up her fault? She'd given him space to take down Gitano, but she understood the need to protect the victim, especially a child, so she hadn't planned on placing the blame for this at anyone's feet, but if he was going to throw it in her face she sure the hell wasn't going to take it. Just as she was about to let him have it, Elliot turned back to look at her.

"You and this job are about the only things I got anymore. I don't want to lose that, I couldn't take it." He ran his hand through his hair as he let out a long breath through his nose. "You need to be more fucking careful."

"And you need to take an extra minute to think before you react." Olivia replied, her voice calmer but still edgy.

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "So you blame me too?"

"What good is blaming anyone? I'm in this damn bed with a fucking hole in my stomach and stitches in my throat, there's nothing we can say or do that's gonna change that now. I just don't understand how we got so off sync." She replied.

"Me either." Elliot replied.

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but Elliot's phone rang. She could tell by his replies that he had to go.

"I gotta get down to the house."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I know." She watched him heading for the door and sighed. "El, we're not done."

"I know." He replied as he opened the door. 


	18. Chapter 18

The apartment was quiet when Alex walked in. For a moment the dimly lit rooms and muffled sounds of the city became a vice, squeezing at her heart. Setting her briefcase down near the table in the entry where she'd dropped her keys she called out softly, "Mom?"

"In here dear." Came the soft reply from the kitchen.

Alex let go of the breath she'd been holding as she headed towards the kitchen. It made her smile to see her mother, who was use to having people around to do such things, making dinner. "It's to creepy quiet."

Caroline laughed softly as she sent the wooden spoon she'd been using down in the spoon dish. "They're both sound asleep." The elder Cabot said as she went to the cabinet to get a tea cup. "As soon as Allie got home from school she shot up to your bedroom. Olivia helped her with her homework, they watched cartoon network, argued over Allie's DS, and then fell asleep somewhere between Tortall and the Black City."

"At this rate picking up a second copy of that series might be a good idea." Alex laughed as she sat at the kitchen table where her mother had placed her tea. "The binding on those poor books are going to fall apart by the time Liv gets back to work."

Work, that was defiantly something Alex needed to talk to Olivia about. Leaving the better part of her tea behind, she made her way down the hall to their bedroom, pausing in the door to watch her partner and their daughter snuggled on the bed watching cartoons.

It took several seconds for it to register but when it did Allie's eyes lit up. "Momma!"

"Hey baby girl." Alex greeted as she came over and sat on her side of the bed. She laughed as tiny arms wrapped themselves around her neck, her own arms going around the small child they belonged to. "Did you have a good day?"

Allie nodded. "Mommy let me take her award for getting hurt on duty to school for show and tell. I was very careful with it and everyone thought it was way cool. They want Mommy to come talk about being a cop when she's better."

"Believe it or not talking to a class full of eight year olds is more terrifying then facing the chief of detectives." Olivia laughed, then groaned a little. She was still pretty sore and tended to forget that it hurt to do such things as laugh and roll over.

"We're not scary, Mommy." Allie sighed dramatically. "Just don't get to close to Justin. He bites."

Olivia laughed and groaned again. "Thanks for the tip, Allie-Cat."

Reaching out Alex brushed at the dark strands of hair on Olivia's forehead and smiled. It was good to see color in her cheeks again and light in her eyes. As soon as she'd been allowed to come home, Olivia's whole demeanor changed and Alex was sure she was even getting better quicker now that she was in her own bed. "Baby, could you give me and Mommy a moment? I think Grandma could use a hand in the kitchen."

"Ok," The little girl replied, knowing better then to argue when her parents needed grown up time. Things, she'd figured out, could be intense when your mommies were a lawyer and a cop. After kissing Olivia's cheek Allie climbed off the bed, picked up her cat who'd been laying on a rug near the heating vent, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Shooting over on the bed Alex snuggled tenderly into Olivia's side, draping her arm over the other woman carefully making sure to avoid her wound. "How are you feeling?"

"Better now." Olivia replied as she wrapped and arm around Alex.

The two women simply stayed that way for several long minutes. They both needed this, they needed to reconnect, to reassure themselves that everything was alright and getting better. Finally after they were both more at ease, Alex lifted her head to look into pools of chocolate brown. "I had lunch with Arthur today."

Olivia had known that, she'd also had a pretty good idea what had been talked about. "Steak or pasta?" She teased as she played with Alex's hair.

"Shrimp salad." Alex smirked, and then turned serious again. "He offered me the Bureau Chief position."

"We knew he was thinking about it baby." Olivia said carefully. She knew how Alex felt, she knew her partner was both excited and torn. She'd been with the SVU unit for so long, and it had been the only place she'd wanted to be when she came back, but things were changing. They had a family now and Alex couldn't reach her ultimate goals if she stayed a simple ADA all her life. "We were just waiting for him to make the offer. What did you say?"

Alex took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. She replayed the whole scene in her head before finally answering, "I accepted."

A bright smile lit up Olivia's face. With her finger under Alex's chin she titled the blond's head up until she could kiss her. It was a long slow kiss and when it ended there was a bright smile on both their faces. "Bureau Chief Alexandra Cabot. It has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" Alex said with a brightness in her voice that made Olivia smile even more.

Reaching out Olivia caressed Alex's cheek and sighed. "It's not fair."

A dimness clouded Alex's bright blue eyes for a moment as she asked, "What's not fair?"

"We have a reason to celebrate and I can't even get out of this stupid bed to talk my girl out to dinner." Olivia huffed. "What's worse, I'm stuck in this bed and can't do any of the really fun things beds were made for."

Alex half sighed in relief and half laughed. "Don't worry Detective I'm keeping a list."

Brown eyes went wide as they sparkled. "What kind of list?"

"A list of all the things you have to catch up on once you're all better." Alex replied as she leaned in to kiss Olivia softly, teasingly.

"And what's at the top of this list?" Olivia asked.

Alex smirked, "Fixing the loose tiles in the bathroom."

Without thinking Olivia reached out and started tickling Alex, who tried really hard to bat at her hands while avoiding falling on the wounded detective. "Oh just you wait," Olivia warned when she'd stopped tickling her lover to press her hand lightly to her sore abdomen. "You're in so much trouble when I get out of this bed."


	19. Chapter 19

It was strange packing up her office. Alex might have only been moving to a different floor, but there was definitely something final about packing up her SVU office. It made the change feel even more real.

"Are you sure Liv's alright with the whole Jim Steel thing?" Casey asked as she helped put framed drawings Allie had done in a box.

Alex groaned. "Now there's a mistake that'll never die."

Casey laughed as she moved a full box to the couch so she could set an empty one on the desk. "Man you collected a lot of junk since you've been back."

"This is not junk." Alex huffed. She would have added that the baseball crap littering Casey's office was junk, but didn't get the chance. Her office door swung open and a red faced Elliot stormed in waving around some folded up papers.

"You talked her into this didn't you!" Elliot demeaned as he marched up to Alex. He got right in her face as he held the papers up. "This was your goddamn idea!"

Alex blinked as she took a step back. "I have no idea to what you are referring, Detective." She said coldly. "Now kindly leave my office."

Elliot opened the folded up papers and shoved them in Alex's face. "Liv's asked for a transfer for when she comes back. She told Cragen she needed a break from the unit."

"Olivia made up her own mind about returning to work." Alex said as she stared past the papers and into Elliot's angry eyes. "I had nothing to do with…"

"Don't give me that bullshit." Elliot growled. "You're leaving and she's following."

Alex crossed her arms over her chest and stretched until she was at her full height. "My taking this new position with the DA was on the table long before she was injured on the job." It took a lot to keep the fact that Casey was on the fast track to a B.C position too, but that was her news to tell, her choice to make. Before Elliot could say a word Alex held her hand up to cut him off. "She was stabbed and nearly died. That, along with her inability to trust her partner, played into her decision to ask for time away from the unit, and nothing more. I would have been supportive no matter which way she'd have gone."

The part about trusting him felt a bullet to his gut. They'd been off sync for a while, they'd talked about that while Olivia was out on leave, and the more he thought about it the more he realized she'd been hinting at this. Maybe she did need a break, from the cases, from the unit, from him, but Elliot couldn't deal with the thought of facing the shit they faced out there without her. He needed someone to blame and Cabot worked for him. "Don't expect me to believe you didn't influence her into doing what you wanted. What's the matter, Cabot? Couldn't stand the idea of her being around me without being around to watch her like a hawk? You don't trust her?"

"I trust her with my life." Alex replied. "She doesn't trust you anymore and she won't be back until she does."

He knew that and he didn't need to hear her saying it.

"Come on Elliot." Casey said carefully as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Let it go. Find Beck and get me that ID I need for the Polar case." She stood closer to Alex as she watched Elliot leave, half expecting him to turn back and hit her, almost sure he wouldn't. When he was gone she went over and closed the door with a sigh. "He's got a lot of crap going on, Alex, he…"

"I don't care what's going on with him." Alex snapped as she went back to packing, only now she was throwing files into a box rather then carefully placing them inside.

Casey sighed again. "Sure you care. You've all been friends to long for you not too. Everyone's just in different places right now. There's a lot of hurt and anger and distrust. He was right about one thing though." She knew she walking a thin line with this, but it had to be said. "Olivia does make up her own mind about things, but you do have influence over her. They'll never work things out if you and him are enemies."

Alex's blue eyes flashed angrily before she sighed. "It's going to take a hell of a lot to get to where we could even start getting over it all. He had a part in her getting hurt, Casey. I almost lost her. That's not something you get over easily. Not when so much has already happened to us."

"I know." Casey said as she picked up a box to take up to Alex's new office. "But just keep something in mind, ok? When you went off to witness protection, you asked for both of them before you'd leave."

"I did that so Liv would have someone who'd understand what she was going through, not because I felt the need to share with Elliot Stabler." Alex huffed.

Casey smiled. "That's kind of my point, Alex. You left her in his care, and you have to admit, he was there for her."

Alex looked at her friend for a long second before huffing at her. Damn her, she thought as she grabbed a box and walked past her, she has a point.

"Hey beautiful." Olivia greet when Alex walked into the apartment later that night. She carefully pushed herself up off the couch and made her way towards the blond. "Get everything moved?"

"Yeah," Alex said tiredly as she wrapped her arms around the brunette.

Olivia could feel the tension in Alex and cuddled her tightly. "Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah, just a hell of day." Alex replied into Olivia's neck. When she finally pulled back she noticed someone missing. "Where's Allie?"

"Up stairs playing with Kimmie." Olivia replied as she lead her lover to the couch. "It was nice to have some alone time, but I'm glad you're home. It was starting to get a little to alone."

Alex smiled as she sat beside Olivia and snuggled. "I'm glad to see you up."

"Been up about all day." Olivia said as she picked up Alex's hand and played with her fingers. "Which is a good sign. Not sure how much longer I can play at staying home. Especially since I know where I'll be when I go back."

"Oh?" Alex asked as she wondered if she should mention her run in with Elliot.

Olivia nodded. "Cyber crimes. They're going to let me play with all the cool toys." She smiled broadly before adding, "So how much of this tension is Elliot's fault?"

"Casey has a big mouth." Alex groaned.

The dark haired woman laughed after kissing Alex's temple. "It wasn't Casey. He called, told me you went off when he came to see you."

"He accused me of making you ask for the transfer." Alex sat up and shifted so she was facing Olivia.

"I know," Olivia replied. "I told him he was full of shit and had no right. I tried to explain my reasons, but he's to puffed up to really listen right now. Which is part of the problem in it's self." She sighed as she rubbed her eyes and then smirked. "So could he walk upright when he left?"

Alex snorted. "Barely."

Olivia laughed and then became serious again. "I'm really sorry he ripped in to you, baby. I should have known he would lash out that way."

"No worries," Alex replied as she kicked off her shoes and curled up on the couch with Olivia. "I can handle anything he throws at me. I just don't want him hurting you again."

"We'll work things out." Olivia sighed as she leaned her head on top of Alex's. "I hope."


	20. Chapter 20

There was something reassuring, something centering, something comfortable about the feel of her work clothes. As a detective Olivia really didn't have a uniform, a dress code, but not an official uniform, but she'd managed to create one for herself. Relaxed slacks that wouldn't get in her way, t-shirts, light sweaters, and tops that hugged close to her body, and of course her leathers. Above everything else it was the warm smooth creak of her leather jackets that put Olivia in the right frame of mind to do what she did. As she picked up the short brown jacket Alex had given her for Charismas off the back of her chair she smiled. As she slipped it on she couldn't help but think of all the times Alex had told her how sexy she was when she was wearing leather. The thought made her want to get out of there even faster.

"Heading out for lunch?"

Olivia smiled at the sandy haired kid across the room. He was so young, but good at what he did. He'd spent most of the morning showing her around and showing her all the equipment. It wasn't going to be like working with the guys, but it would give her a chance to easy back into things. "Yeah."

"Want some company?" He asked from behind his screen.

"Thanks but I already got some." She replied as she headed for the door. "Call if you find out anything on that runaway."

The kid nodded, "Will do Detective."

"It's Olivia, Deacon." She said kindly before heading out of the room. As she made her way down the street she knew this new assignment wouldn't last long. She'd been there for half a day and already she was pulling her normal cases from the pile. It was ingrained in her, the need to fight for the victim.

"I don't care, Jim." Alex said as she walked towards her office. "We're not backing down from this, no deal. I want this one in court and I want a win."

"We don't have the evidence." Jim Steel replied as he followed his new boss into her office. "We should take the deal and be done with it. At least the SOB will be getting jail time."

Alex moved gracefully behind her desk after setting the folders she had in her arms down, so she could pick up the one regarding the case they were discussing. "If you don't have the evidence then you send the investigating detectives back out to find what you need. The guy's guilty as sin, which means the proof is out there, we just have to find it."

"Alex," Jim sighed as he stood in her line of sight. "You can't treat every case that comes through here like one of your SVU cases. Sometimes you just have to concede."

Icy blue eyes snapped up and pinned the other lawyer in place. "I didn't come here to make deals and win easy numbers, Jim. I came here to win, plain and simple. If Arthur wanted this division to maintain the status quo, you'd be the B.C."

A heavy silence filled the air between the two prosecutors until there was a knock on the office door. Jim turned to see a smirking Olivia standing in the doorway. She was clearly standing at her full height, her jacket pulled back just enough to show off her gold shield which was clipped to her belt, and just a hint of her holstered gun. "Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all," Alex replied as she tried like hell to keep a smirk off her face. "Jim and I are finished." She turned her icy gaze on the man again and repeated, "I want this one, do it."

Olivia stepped aside and watched wordlessly as Jim left. It was all she could do to not laugh as she stepped into Alex's office and closed the door behind her. "Your old office was better."

Leaning against her desk, Alex finally allowed herself a small smile. She had taken such pleasure in watching Olivia get dressed that morning, and the warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach was coming back. "No Jim Steel to deal with?"

"Well, yeah, and because it had walls." The brunette replied as she looked around the room. "All these windows, that's gonna put a cramp in our lunch dates."

Alex laughed, the tension from that morning meetings melting just that easily. "Oh I don't know, after that little display I don't see anyone wanting to intrude while you're around."

"What little display?" Olivia asked innocently.

"Oh please. The posturing when you came in?" Alex rolled her eyes. "Was it really necessary to show of the sidearm?"

Olivia smirked. "Hell yes."

"You're so possessive." Alex teased as she went to her filing cabinet where she kept her purse.

That made Olivia laughed. "And you're not? How dead would that federal agent have been if you really could ice people with a glare?"

Alex just smirked, "I didn't like the way he was looking at you."

Before Olivia could reply Alex was leaving the office. Rolling her eyes she smirked and followed. As they passed Jim she caught the look he gave her and just smirked a little more. It was very clearly a 'she's mine' look, that she knew she'd hear about later.

"So how was it this morning?" Alex asked while they walked towards their favorite diner. She'd been worried about how Olivia would fit in with her new squad, which she guessed could have added to her shortness this morning with the others, but in the long run they needed to think she was a hardass so it worked out for the best in her option.

"We have got to get a widescreen LCD monitor for our computer." Olivia replied as she matched her steps to Alex's. "And Deacon was showing me a bunch of new safety software we could add, the stuff we got now might not be as safe for Allie as we'd thought."

Alex reached out and took Olivia by the arm as she looked into chocolate brown eyes. "That's not what I meant, Liv."

Olivia smiled softly, "I know." She replied before adding, "It's not home, but it'll do for now. Once I get a totally clean bill of health physically and mentally, I'll be on the street again."

"Don would take you back in a heartbeat." Alex said carefully as they made their way to their table. "From what Casey's been telling me, your replacement's a disaster."

"She'll adjust," Olivia replied as she slide into the booth. "or she won't and they'll need to get someone else. Not everyone's cut out for SVU."

Reaching out Alex put her hand on her lover's. "You are."

Olivia shrugged. "Maybe, just not yet. Maybe in time. I just can't yet."

"I know." Alex replied easily. She was trying, she had to give herself that. She would personally prefer Olivia stay where she is now, safe behind a computer screen, but she couldn't be that selfish. Olivia wasn't a desk cop. She knew that her lover would never be happy sitting behind that screen, that sooner or later she'd be back on the streets. She also knew the best place for Olivia, where her strengths, her talents, her heart would be best suited. The SVU unit. She also knew, thought it hurt right now to admit it, that in order for Olivia to survive what SVU did she needed her boys, she needed Elliot.

"What?" Olivia asked when she noticed Alex staring at her so intently.

Alex just smiled and slipped on her glasses so she could read her menu. "Nothing, baby, nothing."


	21. Chapter 21

-1Walking down the long hall to the geek lab Elliot went over the facts in his head again. Young mother, pregnant with second child, walking across the street after picking her five year old up from half day kindergarten, hit head on by a surviving car. Not normally an SVU case, but three months ago there'd been another hit in run just like it in Brooklyn, seven months ago same thing in Jersey. Drunk hit and run involving young mother's with small children.

"So you think these tech guys can find something?" Danni ask as they approached the frosted double doors.

"Hope so, other wise all we got is an ID on the car, and there's just to damn many Ford Focuses in New York." Elliot replied as he pushed the doors open. Scanning the room he caught the top of a head behind a cluster of screens. As he approached he called out, "SVU, we're looking for information on a hit and…"

"Elliot?" Olivia asked as she looked up from the search she was doing. When the call came in for street surveillance and traffic cam images it hadn't even dawned on her it could be an SVU case. She'd just seen that it was a mother and her little girl who'd been killed and snatched it before anyone else could even read the file.

Elliot blinked. He hadn't seen Olivia in weeks. "Liv?"

Danni just stood there looking between the two. So this was Olivia Benson, huh? Where was the halo and saint wings?

After a few more strained seconds Olivia finally asked, "You pulled the hit and run?"

Elliot nodded. "We think it could be a serial, got matching cases in at least two other places."

"Mothers with small kids?" Olivia asked, her mind as always working from the victim's side.

"Yeah, young mothers with small kids." He replied. Then when he heard Danni beside him he added, "Uh, Olivia Benson, Danni Beck."

Danni looked Olivia over again. "Nice to meet'cha."

Olivia smiled polity, while thinking this one looked to soft, she didn't have that look in her eyes, the spark that let people last more then a week in SVU. Elliot had it, Munch and Fin, the Captain, she'd even seen it in herself, but not this one. This one reminded her of Jefferies and Cassidy. And here Elliot was worried about having to watch her back? No, this one wouldn't last. "Hi, nice to meet you. Hope the boys are playing nice. I know it can be rough being the only girl around."

"Yeah," Danni replied with a shrug. "They've been real sweet."

Olivia had to bite back a nasty retort. Was this woman slamming her boys? Or was she just being the jealous little sister? Turning back to her set up she started pulling what she had found so far. "I managed to get a couple images from a traffic cam near the intersection. I was just going through the time frames. You got a definite time?"

"Between two-thirty and three-fifteen." Elliot replied. "Blue Ford Focus, a couple of years old."

"Ok," Olivia said as she skimmed the pictures on her screen. She stopped when she spotted the young mother standing at the corner holding her daughter's hand. The sight tugged at something deep inside, a sympatric tug at her heart. The girl was only a few years younger then Allie. Chocolate brown eyes darted to the framed picture of Allie in her school uniform sitting on Alex's lap in front of their building, before returning to the computer screen. "Looks like we caught the whole thing."

Elliot watched as Olivia zoomed in on the plate, the driver, and opened a search window. She was doing everything he'd need without him asking for it. He couldn't hide his smile.

"Looks like your perp's a woman." Olivia said as she printed off copies of the driver. "Dark blond hair, lidded eyes so I can't get a clear picture of the eye color." She stopped when something beeped at her. "Car's listed as being a company car. Hanson Used Cars over on 134th."

"Thanks, Liv." Elliot said as he took the information from her. "If you come across anything else…"

"I'll let you know." She cut in. "Let me know what you come up with?"

Elliot nodded. "I will."

As they headed back down the hall Danni shoved her hands in her pocket. "So that's Olivia."

"Yeap," Elliot replied in a tone that said he wasn't talking about her.

Danni just nodded then said, "I thought she'd be taller."

"So was it weird?" Alex asked as she took a pasta sauce covered plate from Olivia.

Olivia looked up and then shrugged. "You mean meeting his new partner? Yeah, I guess it was."

"What did you think of her?" The blond asked as she turned to lean against the sink. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited to see what Olivia would say.

Again Olivia shrugged. "Don't know, they were only there for like ten minutes."

Alex rolled her eyes, her arms unfolding only so she could put her hands on her hips. "Don't give me that. You can scope a perp in three minutes flat and peg a good victim's cop in less."

Olivia stopped clearing the dinner table as she sighed. Alex was right of course, she'd had Beck pegged as soon as she'd laid eyes on her. Finally giving in she replied, "That world's gonna chew her up and spit her out."

"Did you say anything to Elliot?" Alex asked as she moved closer to Olivia.

"Like what? Your new partner's going to crumble in a matter of weeks?" She sighed as she wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. "He'd take it the wrong way. He'd think I was jealous or something. Elliot knows who can handle the job and who can't, he knows she can't and he's over looking it. He was so damned worried about having to look over his shoulder to watch me and now that's exactly what's he's gotten himself into with her."

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and then raked her nails through her lover's dark hair. She could feel Olivia relax almost instantly. "You meet with the shrink from OnePP tomorrow, you could always go in and show her how it's really done."

Olivia smiled just a little before kissing Alex softly. "Not yet, it's just not time yet."

"Not time for what?" Allie asked as she came back into the kitchen with a pasta sauce free face.

Deciding to side step the question Olivia asked one of her own, "Homework finished?"

Allie nodded. "Yeap."

"What about for Hebrew school?" She asked as she scooped the little girl up into her arms. She couldn't help but smile when Allie wrapped her arms around her neck, especially since Alex's hand just been there a second before. The face the girl made, made Olivia laugh. "Tell ya what, Allie-Cat. Since it's Momma's night to do the dishes, why don't we work on your letters worksheet while she does that, and then when we're all done we'll go rent a movie."

Bright blue eyes lit up. "Do I get a box of hot tamales?"

"Don't you always get a box of hot tamales?" Alex laughed.

"Yeah, but I have to check anyway." Allie replied as she wiggled to get down from her mother's arms. "In case you forget."

Alex laughed harder as the girl ran off to get her worksheet. "In case we forget? Do you think that was an age jab?"

"She's eight, everything's an age jab." Olivia laughed.


	22. Chapter 22

-1It took several seconds for the ringing to register in Olivia's brain. She never got late night calls these days. Working cyber crimes was so far on the other side of the spectrum from what she was use to that there were times she forgot she was suppose to be a hard core badass police detective. Reaching over she snatched the cell phone off her nightstand while trying to disentangle from the heap of blond body parts.

"Benson," She whispered into the phone as she looked over at Alex and Allie. The smaller of the two, who had been spread out across both of them a moment ago, was now snuggling close to Alex. It made Olivia smile. Their girl had snuck back into the living room the night before while she and Alex were watching the Sopranos and had crawled into bed with them at three am after having a nightmare about gangster teddy bears with Jersey accents. "Elliot? No," She glanced at the clock. "I'd have been up in an hour anyway, what's up?" She listened a moment, a frown pulling at her lips. "Yeah, ok, we'll be there as soon as we drop Allie off. Alright, bye."

"Liv?" Alex asked sleepily.

Olivia was looking at her cell phone with the oddest expression. "We need to head down to the squad room."

"Why?" Alex yawned.

"He just said it was important, something we'd both want to know." She replied.

After dropping Allie off at school Alex and Olivia went to the SVU station house, neither of them liking the way they guys looked at them as they walked in. "What's going on?" Alex asked as Casey and Don approached. She really hated when they did that.

"Come in, there's something you should see." Cragen said as he indicated his office.

Olivia looked at the guys before looking at Casey, then at Alex. They could both feel it. Whatever was waiting for them inside, they weren't going to like it. Once inside the Captain's office, he pointed to the one way that looked into interrogation room A. Sitting at the table was a woman with dark blonde hair and frightened blood shot blue eyes. "It's the woman from the traffic cam pictures." She looked up at Cragen and Elliot as she asked, "She' your hit and run killer?"

"We think so." Elliot said.

"That's great," Alex said shortly, "but why call us in? This is Casey's case and Liv doesn't work this unit anymore."

"Because," Elliot said with forced evenness. "We thought you'd be interested in who she was."

Stepping up to shut Elliot up, Casey handed Alex a folder. "She told us her name was Lauren Stevenson, but her social security number and background check came back with Lauren Newman."

Alex looked at Casey for a long time before finally opening the folder.

"Newman?" Olivia asked as she turned to look at the woman again. "Just because her name…"

"Lauren Stevenson, married and divorced from Caleb Newman." Alex read. "Job background shows she's been bouncing around between New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania for the last eight years. Couple of arrests for drunk and disorderly, assault and battery, prostitution."

Olivia hadn't been able to take her eyes off the woman. She was angry and scared as hell. What were the chances that this woman would show up in their lives? Like this? She'd had nightmares about Allie's birth mother showing up one day, but she'd never pictured it this way. "She's drunk."

"And this is after being in lock up all night." Munch added in.

Flashes of this woman walking out on Allie then coming back for her mingled and merged with memories of her own alcoholic mother, and before Olivia knew what she was doing she was heading inside the room, Elliot on her heels.

"Feeling better Mrs. Newman?" Olivia asked as she came towards the table the woman was sitting at. She hadn't meant to, but she found herself looking for Allie in the face that looked up at her in surprise. "You never changed your name after the divorce."

"It, it never dawned on me too change it." The woman said shakily.

Olivia leaned into the woman's space, holding back all urges to hit this woman, especially when she looked up at her with Allie's eyes. No, she told herself, these drunken blood shot eyes weren't Allie's. Allie had Alex's eyes, she told herself. "Not even after you left New Jersey after hitting that woman and her little boy outside the Toys-R-Us parking lot? Or after Brooklyn? When you mowed down that pregnant girl with a stolen car?"

"It wasn't, it belong to my boyfriend." Lauran muttered. "And I didn't hit anyone! It, it must have been Simon."

"The boyfriend," Olivia said as she looked up at Elliot.

He didn't know why he was surprised, of course she'd have followed this case. And he was actually glad she had, this felt right.

"So," Danni said as she came into the Captain's office. "Are we ready to question Ms. Stev…" She stopped when she saw everyone looking out the one way, and she nearly dropped her coffee when she saw who was in there with Elliot questioning their perp. "What's going on?"

"Nothing personal, Danni." Munch said as he turned to look at her, "But it's personal."

"I see." The woman said as she nodded. She stood there watching Elliot and his old partner. They worked off each other as easily as water flowed over a stone. Their actions and reactions, even their body language worked together almost perfectly. For a moment she wondered if he'd ever kissed Olivia the way he'd kissed her the night before, but then she noticed the blond in the power suit who looked ready to murder the woman on the other side of the glass. It was the woman from the picture on Olivia's desk. She smirked. No wonder she was one of the guys, she thought.

An hour later Munch and Fin were taking Lauren back to a holding cell, and Olivia was so angry she couldn't see straight. Storming out of the room she instinctually headed for her desk to grab a chocolate bar, but then she remember it wasn't her desk anymore. "Alex."

"Let me know how I can help." Alex told Casey as they came out of Cragen's office.

Casey nodded. "We'll keep you updated. Alex, this can't effect…"

"No." Alex replied, already knowing the question. "Sally had all her parental rights terminated after Caleb's death. Sally was her legal guardian and she's the one who allowed the adoption."

Casey sighed in relief. As soon as they'd found out who the woman was, her first concern was for her goddaughter.

Elliot watched as Olivia and Alex started towards the door after talking to everyone. His jaw twitched as he gowned his back teeth. Finally, just before they reached the door he called out, "Don't worry. We'll nail this. I promise."

It was Alex who turned and nodded, "We know."


	23. Chapter 23

Alex watched as Olivia banged and huffed her way around their kitchen until she found her stash of chocolate bars. They hadn't said much on the way back to their apartment after calling their respective offices to tell them they wouldn't be in, but they needed to and they needed to do it before Allie got home.

"Better?" She asked after she watched Olivia take a huge bite out of her candy.

Olivia nodded despite the fact that she was now pacing.

"We always knew this could happen." Alex said as she watched her lover turn and head towards her again. "Even Sally's said she use worry about Lauren showing up out of the blue."

"Bet she never thought it would be as a suspect in vehicle homicide." Olivia grunted as she turned to make another pass.

Alex let Olivia pace a little longer before getting up and cutting of her route. "Liv, you need to calm down. We need to figure out what we're going to tell Allie."

Chocolate brown eyes blinked. "Tell her? Al, we're not telling her a damned thing. I mean how could we? What? We tell our eight year old that her birth mother is back and that she's with the police because she mowed a bunch of young woman down in a drunken rage? Or I know, we tell her that her birth mother's been working as a tri-state whore." A moment and several deep breaths later she added, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow like that."

"I know." Alex said easily as she reached up and caressed Olivia's face. "I'm on edge too. And your right, telling her would do more harm then good right now. Maybe when she's older, but for now Casey and the others will make sure she's put away and we won't have to worry."

"I had a daughter once." Lauren told George as she tore at her paper coffee cup. "Before everything went crazy."

George made notes on his pad as he asked, "What happened to her?"

Lauren shrugged. "Don't know, guess she's with her father somewhere."

"So you left?" He asked as if he didn't already know at least part of the story.

"Yeah," The woman replied as she rubbed her forehead. She had a hell of headache and her stomach was doing summersaults. "She never stopped crying, and I couldn't stand the smell, or the way she just laid there looking helpless. I told you, things went crazy, in my head and shit."

There it was, the build up to an insanity plea.

"Allison," She said softly. "Her name, it was Allison Naomi. I think she'd be eight, maybe nine, I don't remember." Suddenly her head snapped up and she looked right at George for the first time. "Can you find her? My daughter? Can you find her? Can I see her? I'll tell you everything if I can see her."

"Alright that's enough." Sophie Devere said sharply as she headed for the door to the room where her client was.

Casey watched as the short redhead put an end to George's questioning. She knew the defense attorney would have the woman examined by her own people, but Casey wanted someone she trusted to check the woman out first. When George joined them in the viewing booth she sighed, she knew that look. "She's going to say Lauren went nuts after abandoning her baby, and now she's unconsciously attacking women who remind her of what she's lost while in an effected alcoholic state."

"You're starting to sound like one of them Casey." George teased.

The strawberry blonde smirked, "It's part of my job to think like them so I can bet them at their own game."

"Why play the game at all?" Danni asked from where she and Elliot stood. "She's willing to make a deal, just find the kid, show her she's ok."

Green eyes turned hard and fiery as Casey turned to look at her detectives. "I don't play with those kind of deals, Detective Beck, so forget it."

Danni watched as the lawyer left the room with the fed shrink on her heels. Sighing she turned to Elliot as they left as well. "She doesn't like me much."

Elliot just shrugged. He wasn't touching that, though he did find it funny. When Casey first showed up Olivia couldn't stand her simply because she wasn't Alex. Now Casey couldn't stand Danni because she wasn't Olivia. He was never going to understand women. "She's right, there's no sense in screwin' up a kid just to get her to talk. We got enough to send her away."

"I didn't mean bring the kid in, I just meant show her a picture, let her know the kid's ok." Danni said as they headed back to the squad room.

"We're not here to help the perps feel better, Danni." Elliot told her.

"We've made…"

Elliot stopped and turned to face her. "Not this time."

Danni blinked before narrowing her eyes as she watched him walk away. They'd gone out of their way for perps before, especially ones who were thrown into the deep end head on. If this got her to confess then why not throw Lauren Newman a bone? Going over to her desk she reached for her mouse and clicked on the NYPD search engine.

"This should be enough to get a convection, but I'm still going to bring in the ex-boyfriend as a character witness, as well as Dr. Williams." The dark haired woman sitting across from Casey said. "I know George Huang has already evaluated her, but if it comes out that this woman's daughter is now the adopted daughter of a former unit detective things could get sticky."

Casey nodded as she looked over the notes she'd been making. "That's why I asked you to take this one, Tracey. I'm not giving Devere any leverage or even the chance of crying conflict of interest."

"Well it's a solid case as far as the state of New York is concerned." Tracey said with a nod as she began to gather up her things. "You're still sitting second chair?"

"Oh yeah," Casey said as she rose as well.

Tracey smiled. "Then I'll see you in court."

Danni stood outside the ADA's office and watched as the dark haired woman left before sliding up to the door before the redhead could close it. "How do you expect that woman to get a fair shake?"

Casey blinked before allowing her eyes to travel to the folder the detective was holding. "What are you talking about?"

"Lauren Newman's daughter is Benson's kid." Danni said as she waved the folder around. "That's what Munch meant by personal. That's why everyone's out to crucify her. You're all scared she'll take the kid."

"We are prosecuting her for killing at least a half dozen people." Casey replied. Her eyes were flashing angrily and it was hard for her to keep her voice down.

"Then let me get the confession," Danni said as she watched Casey carefully. She was able to backtrack Lauren Newman to her husband, which lead to his mother, and then to the girl. Elliot had ridden her ass non stop over Eden, and yet here was Olivia not only taking in a vic but adopting her.

In what seemed like an instant Casey was in the other woman's face. "You are to leave this investigation alone, Detective Beck. For two reasons; one, I've handed off the case to another diversion to avoid the accusations you just made; and two if you don't, and you even think about dragging my goddaughter into this, I will have your badge faster then you can take a breath."

"Is that a threat, Counselor?" Danni asked.

"I don't make threats, Beck." Casey replied so icily Alex would have been proud. "I get results."

Danni didn't say a word she simply turned and walked out. If it hadn't been clear before, it was now. She was an outsider, unwelcome, and always would be. She would put in her transfer as soon as she got back to the House but first she had a stop to make.

"What's this?" Lauren asked as she held the photo copied picture.

"Allison." Danni said with a smile. "She's good, Lauren. Happy."

The woman looked down at the picture of the small blond girl in a private school uniform. She knew without question that it was her little girl, she had her eyes and her father's smile. Looking up at the woman through the bars she asked, "Why? They turned down my deal."

"Because, you should know she's ok." Danni replied.

Lauren nodded and then looked at the picture again. "Thank you." She said as she reached the picture back out.

"Keep it," Danni smiled. "It's a copy of the original." The real picture was back on Elliot's desk where she'd found it, in a frame along side the ones of his own kids.


	24. Chapter 24

Laying on her mothers' bed Allie watched as her mommy pulled a dark zipped up garment bag from the closet and then lay it on the bed next to her. Both of her mothers moods had been sad all morning, and she understood that today was a sad day, but she didn't like it when her mothers were sad. She watched quietly as her mommy unzipped the bag and then pulled out the first article of clothing that was hidden inside. It was a dark navy blue, almost black, jacket with all kinds of medals and pins on it. There was also a smaller version of her mommy's badge on the jacket which let Allie know that this was her mommy's police uniform. This made her watch even more closely because she'd never seen her mommy in her uniform before.

"Hey babe," Olivia called out, her voice a bit more sullen then normal. She pulled her dress pants out of the garment bag, then went back to the closet for the box with her shoes in it, and her hat. "Where's the dry cleaning? I need my shirt and gloves."

"In the front closet." Came the reply from the bathroom. "Could you grab Allie's dress and lay it in her room? I'll get her dressed once I'm done in here."

Olivia gave her daughter a soft smile as she reached out to tuck a strand of blond hair behind a small ear. "Sure, sandals or the white dress shoes?"

"Dress shoes with the tights I picked up yesterday." Alex called out.

Allie couldn't help but scrunch her nose. She liked dressing up just fine, but she hated tights. They were itchy and a pain when she needed to use the bathroom, but she didn't say anything. Instead she just reached over and picked up her mommy's hat, smiled, then put it on.

Alex stopped dead in the bathroom doorway. She was caught somewhere between an oh my god that's so cute moment, and a dear god what if she wants to be a cop moment. She wasn't sure if she could handle having both of the people she loved most in the world out there risking their lives every night. "I think it's a little big, baby girl."

The little girl laughed as she tipped the hat up so she could see. "That's cause Mommy has a big head."

"I do not." Olivia huffed playfully as she came back into the room.

Allie giggled as she watched her mothers getting ready. "Mommy, how come you're wearing your fancy uniform?"

Olivia glanced at Alex for a moment. They'd talked about it last night, how they would explain what the day meant, how to answer the questions Allie would ask, but it didn't change the fact that they both wished they didn't have to explain it. "Because it's a sign of respect." The dark haired detective said as she sat next to her daughter. "For all the people who died, and for all the people who helped."

"On the day the bad men in the planes came." Allie added thoughtfully. She'd been learning all about what had happened in school and it was all kind of scary to think something that bad could happen so close to her home. It's why she'd slept in between her mothers for the last two nights.

"Yeah," Olivia said as she wrapped an arm around Allie and leaned back against Alex who was standing behind her. "Today, I wear it for them."

"Where were you at?" Allie asked as she snuggled.

"With me," Alex said softly. "We were in my office arguing over a case." Then everything had gone numb. Olivia had gone off to help where she could, and Alex had been stuck in the building. Why hadn't she told Olivia that night that she couldn't breath right until she'd known she was ok?

Allie hugged her mommy tight. "I'm glad you and Mama were ok."

"Me too, Allie-Cat." Olivia replied. This year felt different to Olivia, and she knew it was because she was a mother now. Everything felt different now.

"Come on baby girl," Alex said softly as she held her hand out to Allie. "Lets get you dressed."

Allie nodded, kissed her mommy's cheek, and then went off with her mama to get dressed. She liked wearing pretty dresses and she couldn't help but twirled a little after she had it on.

Alex watched as her daughter giggled and twirled. She was such a sweet and innocent child despite everything she'd been through, and Alex was going to make damn sure her little girl stayed that way for as long as she could. "Very pretty, baby girl."

The little blond smiled brightly as she went over to sit on her bed next to her mama so the older blond could put her shoes on. "Mama, will it ever happen again?"

The question caught Alex off guard and she wasn't sure how to answer. After putting her daughter's shoes on she pulled the girl into her lap and cuddled her close. "I wish I could tell you that it won't ever happen again, Allie, but I can't. What I can tell you, is that there are people like Mommy, and Kimmie's daddy who are out there who are trying to make sure it doesn't."

"Why do the bad men hate us?" Allie asked as she titled her head so she could look at her mother.

"I don't know, baby girl." Alex sighed. How do you explain international politics to an eight year old? Especially when you barely understood what it all meant yourself, and you're a potential politician. "Lots of people say there are a lot of reasons."

Allie thought about it for a moment and then decided the answer was rather easy, "We should be nicer to people who are different then us."

That made Alex smile as she kissed the girl's forehead. "You're right, baby girl. We should be nicer to other people. We should be more understanding and open, but some people just don't get it."

"Like Mrs. Dolan," The girl said as a shadow passed over her bright face. "She says mean things in the elevator about Mr. and Mrs. Nagi, and she gives us mean looks when she sees us."

Alex blinked, her cheeks flushing. "You noticed that?"

Allie nodded. "She doesn't like you and mommy and me cause you and mommy are lesbians."

Would it be wrong of her to slap a seventy year old bigot, she wondered as she brushed at Allie's hair. "How do you know that baby girl?"

"The looks, they're mean looks." The girl explained and then added in a very soft voice. "I heard her once, she called you and mommy bad things. Aunt Casey said it was because she was old and closed minded, Aunt Serena said not nice things back."

"I'm sorry you had to hear that baby girl." Alex said as she cuddled the girl tight.

Allie hugged her mother back and smiled a little. "It's ok, Bubbe and Nana use to get called names too. Nana said some people just don't understand love."

"She's right, they don't and you shouldn't let those people bother you." Alex said as she once again thought of her daughter's innocence and light and how to perceive them.

When they got to the ceremony Olivia headed to the front because she was going to be reading names from her precinct, so Alex and Allie joined Caroline and Allie's friends Kimmie and Rachel and their families.

"Look what my daddy sent me," Kimmie said brightly as she held out the beaded bracelet.

"That's so pretty!" Allie replied with a smile.

Alex watched the girls for several minutes before turning to talk to the adults. She asked about Kimmie's father who was a marine, and Rachel's grandfather who was firemen and first responder. As they took their seats, she found herself counting her blessing and taking in the faces of her own mother, her love, and her child.


	25. Chapter 25

It wasn't that she wasn't tired, she was exhausted, but Olivia just couldn't sleep. Her mind was to busy churning with thoughts and reliving memories. Life had become so different for her; it had taken a path she'd never imagined it would take. She almost had Alex, then lost her, then had her back for a flicker of a moment, and then lost her again. When Alex had come back to testify against her shooter and then was whisked away again, Olivia thought she was going to break, and very nearly did. She promised herself that first night they were together in Alex's house in the desert that she'd never let Alex go again, and so far she'd kept her promise. She had Alex, and now they had Allie. Olivia had something she never thought she'd ever have; a family. But there was still something missing, something that had been on her mind but she hadn't had the chance to get to yet. Being at the memorial had reminded her that time was a very fickle thing and you never really knew how long you had.

Running her hand over Alex's bare skin, Olivia smiled to herself. Alex was so soft, her skin warm and perfect, and she knew just where to touch her lover to get a response. Just as her hand began to cup Alex's bare breast she rolled so she was laying over half of the blonde's sleeping form. "Alex," She whispered.

"Mmmmm," Alex's reply was sleepy, but still managed to sound breathy and sexy.

"Alex," Olivia said a little louder as she moved her hand up to trace her lover's lips. "I've been thinking."

"Good for you," Alex replied, her voice still think with sleep, the beginning of arousal, and a little annoyance. "I've been sleeping."

Olivia smiled a smile that made her dark eyes light up. "Alex, baby marry me?"

That caused the half asleep blonde A.D.A to jolt wide awake. "What?"

"Marry me," Olivia repeated. "Allie has a three day weekend coming up and Boston's really beautiful in the fall."

Alex looked up into those chocolate brown pools she adored so much for several seconds before finally blinking, "You're serious?"

Olivia nodded, "As a bullet through the heart."

Shock and surprised ripped through Alex as her brain tried to process what was happening. Olivia had just asked her to marry her out of the blue, and now she was laying there staring at her, waiting for an answer. What came to mind first however was another question, why hadn't they done this sooner? Legally they were as covered as they could get in New York as a same sex couple, they were legally domestic partners and had all the rights that came with that. Alex had wanted more, but knowing how Olivia felt about religion and faith she hadn't even considered the other woman would want to go through a wedding ceremony. "What brought this up so suddenly?"

The dark haired detective smiled and shrugged one shoulder, "Not so sudden." Rolling away from Alex she turned and reached for the top drawer of her nightstand. Pulling out a little box she opened it and removed the object inside.

When Olivia rolled back over and Alex saw the sapphire and diamond ring she was holding between her forefinger and thumb, tears welled in her eyes.

"Closest blue I could find that matched your eye color." Olivia said with a sheepish grin.

"When?" Alex asked simply.

Olivia blushed. "After we moved in here. Things got a little nuts, and we've been pretty busy getting settled in with Allie, but in a way that's just made me think about it more and more. We have a life together, Alex. We have a home, a child, and a future. This is really just icing, but I want to tell people that Alexandria Cabot is my wife, I want them to see the rings and the pictures on the wall. I want everyone we love and whatever powers are in the cosmos to see us cement our family."

There was a sappy smile on Alex's face as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Yes."

Her train of thought just derailed and Olivia's mouth moved for several more seconds without a single word passing her lips. Finally she managed a half croaked, "What?"

Alex laughed. "Yes, Olivia. I will marry you."

Olivia half squealed, half yelled her happiness before leaning down and kissing Alex deeply and with a fevered passion that took her breath away and blew her mind.

With her witch clad teddy bear firmly clutched in her grip Allie padded down the hall to her mothers' room. It was very rare for her to be awake first. Normally at least one of her mothers was already up and started on the day long before Allie rolled out of bed. Stepping up to the door she knocked softly before calling out, "Mama? Mommy? It's morning."

Olivia moaned softly as she tightened her hold on Alex in her sleep. Alex, who'd been awake for awhile marveling over the last few hours, tried not to laugh. "I'll be out in a moment baby girl."

Allie nodded as she rubbed her eyes. "Ok," The little girl replied. "Is Mommy home?"

"Yes, she's just waking up." Alex answered as she began to tickle Olivia.

"Ok," Allie replied again and then padded down the hall. As she passed the couch in the living room she tossed Elphie onto it and then went into the kitchen. Using a chair that she pulled over to the counter she got down two bowls and the box of Cap'n Crunch. She was only allowed to have sugar cereals on Saturday mornings, and Cap'n Crunch was her and her mommy's favorite. After taking the bowls, spoons, and cereal to the living room she got the milk, which she sat on the coffee table with the other stuff. Then she climbed onto the couch, made room for Max and Arthur, then clicked on the TV so she could watch Legion of Super Heroes while she waited for her mothers. It was a ritual with her and mommy that every Saturday they cuddled on the couch with kiddy cereal and watched cartoons while her mama did enough work to free her up the rest of the weekend.

She couldn't help but smile at the scene on the couch and for once in her life Alex wasn't waiting for the other shoe to drop. With Olivia's hand in her own she lead them over to where their daughter was, shooed away the pets, then picked Allie up with ease as she sat beside Olivia. She wrapped her arms around the girl and cuddled her as she kissed her temple. "Good morning."

Allie giggled. "Morning Mama," Then she smiled at her mommy as she laid her head on her mama's shoulder. "Mommy, you look sleepy."

Olivia laughed, "I didn't get much sleep." She gave Alex a wicked look before reaching out and tickling their daughter. "Mama and I were up late talking."

"About what?" Allie asked as she batted at her mommy's hand.

Alex hugged the girl tight as she showed her the new ring she was wearing. "Mommy and I have been together a long time and we have all the legal papers that say we're partners, but we decided that we want to be married too."

Allie's reply was so innocent and sweet that the moment she said it, "It's about time." Both Alex and Olivia laughed.


	26. Chapter 26

Stepping into the all to familiar corner dinner, Olivia scanned the tables and booths. She'd been surprised when she'd gotten the call asking her to join him for lunch, but after hearing that Beck had cut and run she'd sort of expected it. Spotting who she was meeting she went over to the table with her hands shoved in her pockets. "Cap'n."

Don looked up and nodded a friendly greeting. "I'm glad you agreed to meet with me, Olivia."

Olivia sat down across from him as she pulled a card from her pocket. "Wanted to give you this so it worked out."

The bald man took the card from his former detective and smiled when he read it. "Munch said you two were finally doing this"

"It's not gonna be anything huge or fancy or anything, but we'd like it if you came." She said as she nodded at the waitress who'd come to the table with a pot of coffee.

"I'll be there." Don said as he put the card in the pocket of his trench coat. He waited until the waitress had refilled his cup and then asked, "Have you talked to Elliot?"

Olivia shook her head, "Not really, things are still a little tense."

Don nodded. "How tense?"

There it was, the reason he'd called her. She'd wondered on more then one occasion what her answer would be if he ever asked her to come back to his unit, and every time she'd asked herself the answer was different. "OnePP can't find anyone else willing to work with him?"

"It's not that, Olivia." Don said as he wrapped his hands around his cup. "You belong with SVU. It's time for you to come back, don't you think?"

She wasn't sure. "I don't know, Cap'n. Computer crimes has been working well for me. I'm home every night, I don't walk through the door to see that look on Alex's face, or see the fear in Allie's eyes when I leave."

"It's safe," He said nodding. "For you, but what about the people out on the streets? Your heart's always been with the victims, Olivia."

"Yeah, but now it's with my family." The dark haired woman replied as she reached up to finger the pendent she wore on a simple gold chain. She and Alex both wore one, it was a tiny gold envelope with a tiny gold slip inside that said "Love Always," on one side. On the other side of Alex's was her badge number, on the other side of hers was Alex's D.A ID number. They were having one made for Allie for Hanukah/Christmas with MAMO on the back, and Olivia was having second slips made for her and Alex with Allie's adoption date and birthday on them.

"Before you turn me down completely, ask that family and see what they say." Don said easily. "I bet they say the same thing; you belong with SVU, Liv."

She smiled warmly at him. Knowing he thought that, that he wanted her back with his unit, meant a lot to her.

"So what did Don want?" Alex asked later that night as she watched Olivia finishing off dinner. The blonde wasn't sure where Olivia had picked up her fondness for Hungarian food, but if it meant she got real Goulash and not that American stuff with the macaroni noodles, it was all the better for her.

"To know if I'm ready to come back." Olivia said honestly as she turned the heat off and put the lid back on the large pot. She wiped her hands on a towel and then turned to look at Alex. "He said I didn't belong in computer crimes."

"You don't." Alex replied as she pulled bowls out of the cupboard. "You're a hands on cop, Liv. You thrive off working for and with victims, not key boards and software."

Olivia just shrugged.

After setting the table Alex came over and stood right in front of Olivia. She reached up and ran her fingers through her lover's longer hair. She liked it like this, but she missed the short sexy messy look too. "Do you want to go back, Liv?"

"Do you think I should?" Olivia asked as she rested her hands on Alex's hips.

"This isn't about me," Alex replied. "This is about what you want."

"This is about you," Olivia countered. "It's about you and Allie and me and whatever and whoever comes along down the line."

Someone down the line? Alex thought before she brushed at Olivia's cheek. "You're a cop, Olivia, I came to terms with what loving a cop means a long time ago. Doesn't mean I don't get any less scared, or worry any less, but you have to do what feels right. Isn't that what you told me when I came back to New York? When I wondered if I should go back to the D.A.'s office or take the teaching job at Hudson, you told me to follow my heart not my fears. That's what you need to do now, Liv."

"But what about Allie?" Olivia asked as she pulled Alex to her.

"We wouldn't even have her if you weren't who you are." Alex reminded her. "What about all those little kids like Allie who need you to be out there looking out for them?"

Olivia sighed as she wrapped her arms around Alex. She had to admit she missed it, she missed being out there on the streets, working a case, nailing the bad guys, and the looks on the faces of the victims when their side won. You didn't get that sitting behind a computer screen, you didn't get the real human reaction; good and bad. "I'll think about it. I want to talk to Allie, see how she feels about it."

Alex smiled. "Good idea."

Coming out of the captain's office, Elliot blinked when he saw Olivia sitting at the desk pushed up against his; her desk. She was opening draws and putting stuff away. There was the picture of her and her mother, the one of Allie, and the one of her Alex and Allie. Slipping in behind he own desk he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Olivia looked up and smirked, "I work here."


	27. Chapter 27

The leaves should have changed by now, Alex thought as she looked up for a moment. The weather was unnaturally warm for the time of year, but she was hoping to get a few more days out of it. Allie had picked out a really great Halloween costume and she was hoping her little girl could wear it without a heavy coat covering it up. Sitting back against the park bench she was on she shifted her gaze from the trees to the blonde eight year old on the monkey bars and smiled.

"I'll be damned," Came a voice from behind her. The voice was slightly accented with a touch of a Texas drawl and it made Alex smile even more. "Novak wasn't pullin' my leg. You really are here. What the hell you doin' at a kiddie playground, Cabot?"

Alex got to her feet and turned, her smile and eyes bright. "Apparently getting grief from you, Carmichael."

Abbie Carmichael grinned as she stepped closer to the other woman and hugged her. "You have no idea how good it is to see you," She said as they hugged and then as they pulled apart she added, "Alive."

"You have no idea how good it feels to be alive." Alex replied as they stepped apart.

"I always knew you'd get yourself into a mess," Abbie said with a shake of her head. "Never pictured one that bad."

Alex smirked. "I was young and ambitious with this huge sense of right and wrong." Her smile faulted a little then. "Never saw that coming either. I nearly blew it, Abs."

"But you're back now," The dark haired former A.D.A said with a soft smile. "And from what I've heard, better then ever, Ms. big bad Bureau Chief."

The blonde woman beamed brightly, "Things are really good for me, Abs. Better then I'd ever expected, and I just don't mean at work."

Abbie laughed, "Did you go and actually get a personal life, Cabot?"

"More then that I got…"

"Mama!" Allie yelled as she came running towards them. "Mama look!"

Abbie's eyes went wide as she watched Alexandra Cabot crouch down to be at a more little kid friendly level as the small girl held out a red leaf.

"First one of the season, Mama." Allie said brightly. "Can we take it home and wax paper it?"

"Sure we can," Alex replied as she twirled the leaf carefully by it's stem.

Allie beamed, "I want to go find more so I can make one for you and one for Mommy."

"Ok, baby girl but I want you to meet someone first." Alex straightened up and placed a hand on Allie's shoulder as she looked at Abbie.

Abbie couldn't hide the stunned look on her face. She'd never really seen Alex as the maternal type.

Alex laughed, "Don't look so shocked, Carmichael."

"Yours?" Abbie asked lamely.

Alex nodded, "Abbie I'd like you to meet my daughter, Allison. Allie baby this is Abbie Carmichael. We use to work together before she left us for more power and bigger office."

"Hello," Allie greeted brightly, holding out her little hand the way her mothers had shown her. "It's nice to meet you Ms. Carmichael."

"Hi," Abbie replied, her shocked expression melting into a smile. She took the girl's hand and shook it, impressed at her manners but not surprised given who her mother apparently was. "It's nice to meet you too Allie."

When the dark haired woman let her hand go Allie looked up at her mother and smiled, "Watch my leaf, Mama, ok? I want to find some more."

"Ok baby girl, but stay where I can see you, alright?" Alex said as she carefully placed the leaf in her bag.

Allie nodded, "Yes ma'am." Then she smiled at her mother's friend before running off.

Abbie flopped down onto the bench and watched the girl run off before looking at Alex. "You have a kid?"

Alex beamed as she nodded and sat beside her old friend. "I do."

The shocked looked was back but then slowly shifted into confusion. "How old is she?"

"Eight," Alex said, her voice lined with the kind of pride that only a mother's voice had.

"I haven't been gone that long," Abbie said as she sat back and shifted so she could look at the other woman. "And you didn't have a kid then."

"Didn't have a lot of things then," Alex replied as she watched Allie in the distance. After a moment she finally explained, "She's adopted, Abbie. She just kind of fell into our laps and amazingly enough fit there perfectly."

Abbie smirked, "Our laps?"

Alex smirked as she nodded, "One of those chances I nearly missed out on cause of the whole getting shot and having a contact out on my life thing."

"Please God tell me it's not Jim Steele." Abbie said with almost a touch of panic in her eyes.

That made the blonde laugh, "No, it's not Jim."

"Brian?" Abbie asked, and then thought about her friend's sexuality and added, "Stephanie?"

Alex didn't want a complete rundown of her past so she said, "Olivia," With such ease that she was surprised by the look of surprise on Abbie's face.

"Olivia?" Abbie asked.

"Benson," Alex added with a nod.

"Super hot SVU detective that you swore up and down you didn't feel a damn thing for?" Abbie asked.

Alex nodded, "I was lying."

Abbie laughed. "Clearly!" She shook her head and laughed a little more. "I can't believe it. You and Benson? And your playing house?"

Again Alex nodded. "We're even getting married in Boston in a couple weeks. It's going to be small, but your more then welcome to come. Liv would love to see you again."

To say the southern lawyer was flabbergasted would have been an understatement. "I'll see what my agenda looks like. I'm only back in town for a case, but I got some time off built up. Wow, you and Benson and you with a kid, but I have to tell ya Alex, you look better then I've ever seen you."

Alex smiled, "I'm happy, Abbie. Happy looks good on anyone."

Abbie nodded and then laughed again, "Ok, I have to ask. Novak, Southerlyn, and you; was I the only straight gal in the office?"

Alex laughed, "Na, but I think it might be a blonde thing."

"Novak's not a blonde," Abbie laughed. "Well, she wasn't when I left, but then again she wasn't as tough either. Little red mouse grew up."

"Special Victims does that." Alex said with a glimmer of pride for her friend. "Casey's hard core and in her element now. She's one of the best in the office."

Abbie smirked, "Ol' Jackie-boy must not know what to do with himself will all y'all taken over and out shinin' him."

"How about I take us to lunch and fill you in?" Alex asked.

"I'd like that," Abbie said with a bright smile. "I'd like to get to know this new Cabot and her little mini-me." Abbie looked over to where the girl was playing then asked, "You sure she's adopted? I mean, she looks like you."

"Told you she was fated to be our little girl," Alex said as she stood up. "Baby girl, we're leaving, time for lunch."

"Coming Mama!"

"Wait till you see her smile," Alex beamed. "She looks just like Liv."


	28. Chapter 28

Sitting at the kitchen table Alex watched as the little hour glass on her laptop screen spun around. She smiled around the arm of her glasses which she chewed on as she waited for the email to go out. She'd just replied to the last wedding plans confirmation, which meant everything was finally in place. Picking up her cell phone she dialed her mother to let her know and then dialed Olivia's cell. She nearly jumped when she heard the echoing ring coming from both her phone and behind her. Turning in her chair she saw Olivia standing there smirking and wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or get up and slug her lover.

"Hi," Olivia said cheerfully as she continued to stand there.

Alex got up and went over to stand in front of Olivia with her hands on her hips. "How long have you been standing there?"

Olivia smirked a little more. "Long enough to know everything in Massachusetts is all set up."

"And what if I'd been planning a surprise for you?" Alex asked as she poked Olivia in the chest.

Olivia grabbed her lover's hand and held it firmly as she continued to smirk. "You'd have done it from your office because there would be a lesser chance of me walking in on you."

Icy blue eyes narrowed as Alex laced their fingers again. "You're such a smartass."

"Yeap," Olivia replied as she pulled Alex closer and wrapping her arms around her. "and you love me for it."

"I love you for a lot of reasons." Alex replied as she combed her fingers through Olivia's hair. Leaning in the blonde kissed her soon to be wife, then deepened the kiss when she felt their desires rising.

Olivia returned the heated kiss with just as much fire. The feel of her lover's nails raking against her scalp sent electric shocks through her body as she pulled the other woman even closer to her. When Alex moved her kisses down to her neck, nipping and licking at just the right places she moaned. Without really thinking she began to move them until she'd backed Alex up against the kitchen counter and then lifted the other woman with ease, sitting her on the counter top. She pushed Alex's legs apart as she recaptured her lips with her own and then eased her body between them.

Alex moaned happily when she felt Olivia's hands under her shirt. Her detective had calluses on her hands, and yet they were still soft and warm. Experienced hands that knew her body better then Alex did. When she first came back to New York they use to do things like this all the time. They'd explore and ravage each other anytime they wanted, anywhere they wanted. Things were different now though; they were mothers now, there was a tiny set of eyes and ears in the apartment that they had to be watchful of. "My mother's picking Allie up from school," She managed to squeak out as Olivia squeezed her left breast. "She's taking her shopping for a dress for the wedding. We're suppose to meet them for dinner."

The dark haired woman's smirk was back as her chocolate eyes became even darker with her arousal. "That means we have all afternoon to ourselves."

"Mmhumm," Alex replied and then yelped in surprise when Olivia tossed her over her shoulder. "Well someone's being aggressive." She laughed as she flipped her hair out of her face as best she could in her upside down position.

"You haven't seen anything yet, baby." Olivia said huskily as she placed Alex on their bed carefully. Within moments the floor was littered with discarded clothes and sounds normally schooled because of tiny ears rang out freely.

Allie was worried about why her mothers had missed dinner, but she had a nice time out with her grandmother anyway so it was ok. She couldn't wait to show them the pretty dress she'd gotten, but for some reason her grandmother was acting kind of weird about going into the apartment. When her grandmother, who never raised her voice, called out her mothers' names rather loudly as she pushed the apartment door open she really got worried. "Is there something wrong Grandmama?"

"No darling," Caroline Cabot replied as she smiled down at the girl. "Just wanted your mothers to know we were here."

The girl looked at her grandmother oddly and then frowned, "Grandmama, what's that sound? It sounds like a big growling cat…"

"Alexandra!" Caroline yelled out again, cutting her granddaughter off before she could ask anything more.

"Shit, Liv!" Alex said breathlessly after jumping at the sound of her mother's voice.

Olivia looked like a deer caught in headlights for a few moments before she began to laugh.

"This isn't funny!" A naked, flushed, and sweaty Alex scolded as she climbed off her lover's equally naked, flushed, and sweaty body. "Allie's home and my mother's here!"

"And you look like a sixteen year old who's parents are about to check her having sex while they were out of town." Olivia laughed as she watched Alex snatch her panties off the floor and a large t-shirt off the back of a chair.

Alex glared at her dark haired lover as she pulled a pair of yoga pants on. "I did just get caught having sex!" She paused a moment, her face twisting in an odd expression and then began to laugh as well. "Really great sex."

Caroline sent Allie into the kitchen to put the food they'd brought for her mothers on the table while she went to get them. She knocked on their bedroom door trying hard not to laugh. "Alexandra, Olivia, time to come out now. Don't make me come in there."

"Mother!" Alex's voice came through the wood. "We'll be out in a moment!"

"Quickly dear," The older Cabot said with a hint of amusement in her voice. "I really don't want to have to explain to Allison what the large growling kitty sound was. That's your job." Caroline couldn't help but laugh at the embarrassed groan she'd heard, knowing fully well that it had been Alex.

Throwing her hands up in frustration Alex decided to take a quick shower. The last thing she wanted was to explain the smell of sex to her eight year old. When she finally appeared in the kitchen where Allie was showing her grandmother her newest drawings on the fridge, she blushed a little and smiled. "Sorry we missed dinner."

Allie's head turned sharply at the sound of her mama's voice. She looked the woman over carefully and after deciding she was ok, she ran over to her and hugged her. "Grandmama said you and Mommy probably just lost track of time."

"We did baby girl," Alex said as she picked the girl up to cuddle her. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Allie said with a smile. "Grandmama let me have two desserts."

Alex laughed then looked over at her mother. "I never got twos desserts."

"Oh don't give me that Alexandra Cabot," Caroline pointed a warning finger at her daughter. "Your grandmother let you have dessert before dinner if you wanted it. Then another afterwards. And lets not forget the bedtime snacks."

"Gee someone sounded spoiled." Olivia teased as she came into the room.

Alex just huffed as her mother nodded, "She was. Still is if you ask me."

"No one asked." Alex huffed as her mother set out two places and opened cartons of take out.

Carline reached out and swatted at her daughter's backside as she teased, "Watch your tone little girl. I'm still _your_ mama after all."

Allie giggled as she hugged her mama's neck. "Better be careful Mama or you'll get a time out."

Olivia laughed, "Now that would be a sight. The deeply serious and hard core Alexandra Cabot sitting in the corner."

"Don't tease Olivia," Caroline warned as she finished preparing their dinners. "You'd fit just as well as Alexandra on Allie's little chair. Now both of you come eat. My granddaughter wants to show you her dress."

That really made Allie laugh.

Before Allie had come along this kind of exchange between Alex and her mother use to cause a painful longing deep inside Olivia, but not anymore. She'd become a lot more willing to accept Caroline's intentions of being motherly towards her, and even enjoyed it. "Yes ma'am."


	29. Chapter 29

The old Victorian had been turned into a bed and breakfast years ago and now specialized in same sex weddings. As a wedding gift, her mother had rented the whole place for the long weekend. As Alex stood near the window of her bridal room she smiled softly. It was an absolutely beautiful place. They'd arrived yesterday afternoon and had been served a bridal tea as they went over everything with the inn's owner and the minister who'd be performing their unique ceremony. After Casey, Serena, Sally, and Munch had arrived they rehearsed everything before having a wonderful dinner. They'd all had such a great time the night before that Alex was taking that as a good sign.

"Alexandra," Her mother said softly as she came into the room. "You need to get dressed darling."

Alex turned from the window and smiled, her eyes brimming with tears. "I was watching Casey trying to chase Allie inside."

Caroline laughed softly. "Allie seemed to find that rather funny."

"She's just playing," Alex reassured her mother as she moved towards the center of the room where her dress was waiting. "She's just as excited as we are."

"I know." Caroline said approvingly as she unzipped the garment bag and pulled out Alex's dress.

The dress was an elegant nineteen-thirties Hollywood style ivory silk dress with a v-neck cut in the front, low scoping back, and beading on the straps. It was fitting, but comfortable. Classic, but non-traditional. It was completely Alex. As her mother helped her into it, Alex couldn't help but trail her finger tips over the material. She was finding it hard to believe this was all real, so she was feeling everything for the tactical reassurance.

"It's beautiful baby." Caroline said as she stood behind her daughter who was looking into the full length mirror. "You're beautiful."

Alex sniffled and laughed at the same time. "Even with my hair in curlers?"

Caroline smiled as she used a handkerchief to wipe tears off her daughter's face. "Even in curlers." Leaning in a bit she kissed her daughter's cheek and took her hand, leading her to the couch where she sat them down. From her pocket she pulled out a small velvet bag and offered it to Alex.

"What's this?" Alex asked as she took the bag with trembling hands.

"Open it." Caroline replied.

Alex did and then carefully poured it's contents into her hand, then gasped. It was a pair of diamond drop earrings that Alex recognized right away. "These are Grandmother's earrings."

"And now their yours." Caroline said with a nod. Now her eyes were filled with tears, and it was Alex's turned to wipe them away. "And someday, they're to be Allison's."

"Oh Mommy," Alex said before wrapping her arms around the older woman. "Thank you, thank you so much for everything."

Caroline hugged her daughter tightly as she cried softly. "You're my baby girl, Alexandra."

"Liv?" Casey asked as she stuck her head into her friend's room. "You need any help?"

Olivia was sitting in the middle of the bed fingering a strand of pearls. She had tears in her eyes when she looked up at Casey and tried to wipe them away quickly. "Allie all set?"

Casey nodded. "Serena's doing her hair." Coming into the room the redhead closed the door behind her then walked over and joined her friend on the bed. She didn't say anything, she simply waited for Olivia to say what she needed too.

Several minutes passed before Olivia finally said, "These were my mother's." She offered the strand to Casey and then drew her knees up to her chest. "I thought I should have something of hers with me today, though I'm not entirely sure why."

"You loved your mom, Liv." Casey said as she held the pearls carefully. "You two didn't have a healthy relationship, but under all the carp, you still loved each other."

Olivia simply nodded.

Casey smiled at her friend then bumped her playfully. "Come on, lets get you dressed."

She'd wanted something simple yet beautiful and slightly different. So when Olivia had seen the soft pale pink strapless dress with the sweetheart neckline that she was now slipping into, she'd fallen for it instantly.

After she put Olivia's hair up into bun and encircled it with the ring of pale pink roses and white gardenias, Casey put the strand of pearls around her friend's neck and smiled. "Wow Liv."

Olivia smiled as she looked at her reflection. "Clean up pretty good huh?"

"You're beautiful darling," Caroline said from the door way.

Casey nodded her agreement. "Breath taking, Liv."

Olivia blushed.

"Casey," Caroline said softly. "Would you mind giving us a moment?"

Casey nodded. "Sure Mrs. Cabot. I'll go see if Allie managed to wrap Reenie in ribbon."

Once they were alone Caroline walked over and kissed Olivia's cheek before handing her a velvet box. "Here my darling."

"What's this?" Olivia asked as she took the box.

Caroline laughed. "Popular question, so I'll tell you the same thing I told Alexandra. Open it."

Olivia smirked as she opened the flat square box. Chocolate brown eyes grew twice their normal size as she took in the stunning diamond bracelet inside. "Caroline?"

"It was mine," The older woman said as she took the bracelet from the box and lifted Olivia's hand. "I wore this the day I married my Alex," She explained as she put it on Olivia. "I thought it would be perfect for you to wear as you marry your's."

Tears welled in Olivia's eyes as she tried to think of what to say. "Caroline I…"

"You're my daughter now Olivia," Caroline said. "You have been for a while."

"Thank you." Olivia said tearfully.

Caroline smiled and wiped tears from Olivia's cheek just as she'd done for Alex.


	30. Chapter 30

Light poured into the room from the large windows as candles flickered and danced. A fire burned brightly in the fire place behind the chuppah, while soft glittering harp music played. There was a small gathering of chairs set up in a semi-circle around the chuppah that would allow everyone to see what was happening. Don had to pull same strings and call in some favors, but he managed to get himself, Elliot, Fin and Munch off for the day so they could all be there for their girls. He sat with Kathy and the kids near the front, saving a seat for Elliot. Fin sat behind them with his son, while Munch was sitting with Allie's grandmother, Sally. Arthur, who looked a little uncomfortable, stood talking to Elizabeth Donnelly and Alex's uncle Jack, while Abbie chatted to Nora Lewin. A shift in the music singled everyone to take their seats.

A violin joined the harp as a set of doors opened on both sides of the room. As the lilting melody played Casey, Serena, and Caroline made their way towards the chuppah. They formed their own little semi-circle which faced the gathered guests, with the minister between them. Then the music shifted into another lilting violin and harp piece. Allie, dressed in an ivory and pink ,stain and silk dress with a puffy skirt appeared in the doorway to left of the chupph. She smiled brightly as she made her way down to stand next between her godmothers. Her hair was done in curls and ribbons that match her dress, her bright blue eyes seemed to out shine the candles.

The light coming from the windows took on an gold hue as the sun began to set outside. The room practically glowed as the violin and harp began "You Raise Me Up". The gathered guests smiled as Olivia and Alex appeared in opposite doorways. It was the first time either had seen each other, and they were both left breathless on the arms of their escorts. The two women began walking towards the chuppah, towards each other, as the their guests got to their feet to greet them. Alex had tears in her eyes as she walked on her older brother's arm. Olivia couldn't stop smiling as she tightened her grip on Elliot's arm. It had meant the world to her when her best friend had agreed to escort her.

When they reached the chuppah both men smiled as Alex and Olivia reached for each other's hands. After they'd taken their seats, the minister began.

"Friends, we are here this day to share with Alexandra and Olivia a most important moment in their lives." He said in a bright and clear voice. "They have learned to know and love each other and now wish to express their commitment to each other, and ask us all to bare witness." He smiled as he indicated those around him. "As an expression of their love, Alexandra and Olivia's loved ones have each chosen something special to share with us all."

Serena smiled as she took a small step forward. She looked at her friends as she recited the reading she'd picked. "Why marriage? Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body... Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, Who won't hold them against me, Who loves me when I'm unlikable, Who sees the small child in me, and Who looks for the divine potential of me... Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night With someone who thanks God for me, With someone I feel blessed to hold... Because marriage means opportunity To grow in love in friendship... Because marriage is a discipline To be added to a list of achievements...Because marriages do not fail, people fail When they enter into marriage  
Expecting another to make them whole... Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage Together we create our marriage... Because with this understanding The possibilities are limitless."

Olivia and Alex smiled brightly as the first sign of tears prickled their eyes.

Casey took Serena's hand and squeezed it before stepping forward. "Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. - But if you love and must need have desires, let these be your desires: - To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. - To know the pain of too much tenderness. - To be wounded by your own understanding of love; - And to bleed willingly and joyfully. - To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; - To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; - To return home at eventide with gratitude; - And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise on your lips."

It was getting harder to hold back the tears as they watched Casey recite her poem. When Caroline stepped up, neither of them knew if they could make it through this. They'd had no idea what each of them would say, only that they'd each picked something they'd felt was meaningful.

Caroline walked over and placed her hands over her girls clasped hands. "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." She kissed Alex and then Olivia, both of whom hugged her tightly as tears began to fall. They both had to go for the handkerchiefs they had tucked into their dresses when the elder Cabot stepped back.

"Oh no," Olivia said softly as Allie moved to take center stage. "there goes my make up."

Alex nodded in agreement as she chuckled.

Allie nodded at Munch who got up to join her. From a table waiting near by Munch poured wine into a goblet, then moved to stand behind Allie who took the offered goblet. It had been important to Alex and Olivia that they include Jewish traditions as a way of including Allie. But neither had realized how it would melt their hearts, causing them to fall in love with the precious little person all over again as she recited the Jewish blessings in Hebrew with Munch's help. When Allie was finished she held up the goblet, which Alex took and sipped from before handing it Olivia who did the same.

Dresses be damned, as soon as the threat of spilled wine had passed Alex scoped Allie up into her arms and hugged her tight. Allie giggled loudly as Olivia took her turn, "I'm not the wine!" She laughed as her mothers' kissed her face before putting her down.

When the minister returned to the center to continue everyone took their seats, leaving Alex and Olivia standing together. The minister smiled and from the same waiting table picked up two gold and platinum bands. He held them in the palm of his hand as he said, "These rings are the symbol of the vows taken, a circle of wholeness; the perfect form. These rings mark the beginning of a long journey together filled with wonder, surprises, tears, laughter, celebrations, grief and joy. May these rings glow in reflection of the warmth and the life which flow through the wearers today." He then offered his hand to Alex, who picked up Olivia's.

"I, Alexandra take you Olivia to be my wife and companion for all my days. We shall bear together whatever sorrow and adversity life may place upon us and share together whatever joy and fulfillment life may hold in store. I commit my life to you; a commitment made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and eternally made anew. I pledge to you a life of giving and of hoping, of growing and of loving. I shall be with you in your tears and in your laughter just as I shall bring to you my own joys and my own sorrows.  
You will be my wife, as long as love remains. My commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and eternally made anew." Her hands were shaking as she slid the ring on Olivia's hand, and as she clasped that hand in her own she could feel it shaking as well.

Tears were now freely rolling down Olivia's cheeks and she found herself swallowing a large lump in her throat as the minister handed her Alex's ring. She barely heard him proper her by calling her name as she stared into tear simmering blue eyes. "I, Olivia, take you Alexandra to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what our future will bring to us. What so ever life may bring to you, I will be at your side, for all the risings and settings of the sun, for all the days of fullness and in barren times. In the foreknowledge of joy and pain, strength and weariness, I pledge myself to deepening in love and understanding as long as love remains." She said softly, her voice thick with emotion then as she slid the ring onto Alex's finger added, "My commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and eternally made anew."

The room was filled with sniffles and sighs as Alex and Olivia continued to look into each other's eyes. Olivia had known Alex had wanted this, and she'd wanted it too, but she hadn't realized that it would make her feel differently. She loved Alex with all her heart, and somehow this just made it even more so.

The minister smiled as he held up his hands to offer a prayer, "Our Father, we rejoice with Alexandra and Olivia. We thank you for their families and friends who have helped to shape their lives. We thank you for the opportunities and events which challenge them to their life's work. We thank you for their ever-deepening relationship and their decision to share the future together. We pray that we may be responsible witnesses to them enabling them to share their lives for the sake of all people." Then he looked at Alex and Olivia as he continued. "Go into the world and fulfill your lives. Hold fast to your ideals. Give one another new experiences of joy. Challenge one another that you might grow together. May this love now sealed with your mutual covenant mature and enrich the experiences of you both. May your home be a happy one and your lives fulfilled. Amen."

There was a long pause before Olivia heard the minister's voice again. "By the power vested in my by the state of Massachusetts and our Lord I now pronounce you married. You may seal the deal with a kiss."

Olivia didn't waste any time in drawing Alex to her and kissed her deeply. A cheer went up among their guests with the loudest voice being Allie's.

"Friends," The minister said brightly at the end of the kiss. "it is my pleasure and great honor to introduce for the first time, Alexandra and Olivia Benson-Cabot."

Serena Why Marriage? by Mari Nichols

Casey The Prophet by Kahil Gibran

Caroline First Corinthians 13:4-8

Thanks to my friend Rev. Meav for helping with the minter's parts and vows.


	31. Chapter 31

A warm welcoming smell greeted Olivia when she walked into their apartment. Alex had been taking cooking lessons once a week as her "Me Time" so coming home to the smell of new foods was nothing new these days. Today was special though and as she helped Allie take her book bag and coat off she couldn't help but smile. "Smells like Mama's started dinner already."

Bright blue eyes sparkled as Allie took a deep sniff and smiled.

"Liv, baby is that you?"

"Me and the Allie-Cat." Olivia replied as she hung up their coats. With a playful smile the dark haired detective snatched her daughter up and tossed her over her shoulder as she headed towards the kitchen. When she saw Alex standing next to the table she wasn't sure which she wanted to do more, go awww over the cuteness or laugh her ass off. The blonde was standing there with her glasses on, her hair thrown up in a quick ponytail, wearing yoga pants, a tank top, and an apron. She had flour smudged on her face and dusted over the black frames of her glasses, and what seemed to be a potato peel in her hair.

"Don't you dare," Alex warned as she pointed a wooden spoon at her wife and daughter. "Don't either one of you laugh."

It wasn't easy for her, or it would appear Allie, who's face was turning red from holding her breath. Setting the girl down Olivia tried her best to speak without laughing. "Didn't you want to help Mama grate the potatoes for the latkes, baby?"

Allie nodded, unsure she could reply without laughing and the look on her mama's face said it was best not to laugh.

"Then you should go change out of your school uniform." Olivia said.

Once Allie was gone Alex could see that Olivia was faltering. Her shoulders were shaking as she held a hand over her mouth. "Olivia Jayne Benson-Cabot I swear if you laugh I'll smack with this spoon."

The dark haired woman thought it over for a moment and then finally gave in. She laughed as she moved closer to her wife so she could reach out to remove the potato peel. "You look so cute."

Alex used the wooden spoon in her hand to smack her wife's backside hard enough to actually make the other woman yelp. "I warned you."

Olivia grinned as she wrapped her arms around the blonde. "Worth it."

"I'll give you worth it." Alex huffed before blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"You're stressed." Olivia said as she cuddled the woman. She lowered her head so she could place kisses on her wife's neck and instantly felt the other woman's ridged body loosen up a little.

"Ya think?" Alex snorted as she left Olivia do as she pleased, at least for now. "This is Allie's first Chanukah with us and I want it to be perfect."

Olivia nuzzled her lover's neck a little longer before moving to kiss her lips. She slid her hand down the blonde's arm until she slipped the wooden spoon from her hand. She smiled wickedly against Alex's lips before snapping the spoon against her lover's bottom.

"Oh now your dead." Alex gasped as she and Olivia struggled for the spoon.

Just when she'd gotten her giggles under control Allie stepped into the kitchen and saw her mothers playing around and lost it all over again.

The sounds of giggles caused both women to stop. With her lover's arms around her and a firm grip on the spoon Alex looked over at their daughter and pointed it at her. "So you think this is funny?"

Allie nodded. "Yeap." And with that she pulled the camera she had hidden behind her back out and snapped a picture. The eight year old squealed and giggled as her mommy let go of her mama to come after her. In one easy swoop she was up in the air and turned around so she was upside down. She hooked her legs over her mommy's shoulder as her long blonde hair dangled. She laughed and giggled as her mommy ticked her tummy, her mama taking the camera and snapping her own picture. "Mommy!" She squeaked. "Mommy stop! I gotta pee!"

Olivia laughed as she turned the girl right side up and placed her on her feet. She laughed harder as the little blonde ran off towards the bathroom. Going back over to Alex she wrapped her arms around her and sighed happily. "Have I told you lately how happy I am?"

Alex smiled as she leaned against her wife's strong frame. "Did you ever think it would be like this Liv?"

"I'd hoped it would be." Olivia admitted. "And it scares me to think something could take it all away."

The blonde turned easily in the brunette's arms so she could wrap her own around Olivia's neck. "I know, that scares me too, but we won't let anything happen. There's no shoe waiting to be dropped, baby." Leaning in Alex kissed her wife softly and then with a little more feeling so she'd understand how she felt.

Olivia smiled as they pulled away. "So how can I help?"

"You can go get the jelly doughnuts." Alex replied.

Little lips smacked in the doorway. "I love jelly doughnuts. Get extras please, Mommy."

"You got it kiddo." Olivia said brightly as she ruffled the girl's hair on her way out.

Allie giggled again, then went over to where her mama was and climbed up on a chair so she could kneel on it. "Did you use Bubbe's cards?"

"Yeap," Alex said as she placed a large empty bowl, cheese grater, and large bowl of peeled potatoes in front of her daughter. She picked up a large potato and placed a safety guard on it before holding it out to Allie only to pull it back again. "Did you wash your hands?" When Allie nodded with a bright grin she handed it back. "Be careful baby girl."

"I will." Allie replied as she started to grate the potato into the bowl. "I use to help Nana Dette do this part. Is Bubbe coming tonight?"

Alex nodded as she went over to check on the brisket. "Casey and Serena will pick her up and bring her over. John called to say he and Fin were almost done for the night and should be here just in time for dinner. And Grandmama is on her way."

Allie smiled brightly. "Good."

An hour later Alex was ticking things off her list. Potato latkes, cheese latkes, and jelly doughnuts took care of the fried foods. The brisket would cover the main dish, and she'd rounded it all off with apple sauce. The wine was chilled. Allie was dressed and busy with a few last minutes details, which mostly consisted of trying to eat as many chocolate coins as she could get away with. She was just getting out of the shower when she heard familiar voices drifting down the hall.

"Bubbe!" Allie rushed to her grandmother as she came into the apartment.

Sally smiled as she put an arm around the girl. She'd come a long way in her therapy and it meant so much to her that she'd been able to walk into her granddaughter's home. Sally laughed softly as the girl clung to her. "We just saw each other at the wedding, Shaifeleh."

"I know." Allie said looking up at her grandmother. "But I missed you anyway. I was scared you wouldn't be here."

Sally took the girl's hand and lead her to the closest chair. She sat carefully with Serena's help then pulled the girl onto lap. "I've been with you on each holiday since you were born, Shaifeleh, and I will be at each for the rest of my days. I promise."

Allie wrapped her arms carefully around her grandmother's neck and cuddled close. She loved her mothers so much, but sometimes she really missed her Bubbe and Nana. Allie stayed that way for several more minutes before pulling away and kissing her Bubbe's check. "I love you, Bubbe."

"I love you too, Shaifeleh." Sally said.

Just as suddenly as the girl's sullen mood had come on, it was gone and she was bright and bubbly again as she took her grandmother's hand. "Bubbe come see!"

"Come see what?" The elderly woman asked as she was helped out of the chair. She let her granddaughter walk her over to a small table where the menorah was set up. As she looked down at the handcrafted menorah tears sprung to her eyes.

Allie smiled as she looked up at her grandmother. "It's your menorah, Bubbe. When Aunt Serena and Aunt Casey packed up our apartment they brought it to us."

"I know." Sally said softly as she smiled. "I asked them too."

"It really means a lot that you did." Alex said as she came into the room.

Olivia nodded as she put an arm around Alex when she came to stand next to her. "Allie says it's very special."

Sally nodded as her aged fingers ran over the smooth wood. She closed her eyes for a moment and could see a lifetime of memories pass before her like old black and white movies on a silver screen. "This menorah has been in my family for generations. It and a handful of other things were all that my Bubbe had kept and hidden when the Nazis came. Everything else she pawned or sold for money to get my parents, my brother, and me out of Poland. I was two when they invaded, it took three years before there was enough money to get us the papers we'd need. Ezra was seven and I was five when we left for Russia."

When she noticed the woman began to shake a little, Olivia let go of Alex and went to Sally's side. She helped her daughter's grandmother back to the chair and then sat beside Alex and Allie on the couch.

"I can still remember Mama begging Bubbe to come with us." Sally went on after offering Olivia a soft look of gratitude. "But Bubbe said she was old and would slow us down. Mama was pregnant, and Bubbe said she needed to worry more about her babies then about her. We left at night, Mama kept having to quiet me because I was crying for Bubbe. We made it into Russia and just kept heading east. It wasn't easy, Mama lost the baby, Ezra became ill, and we were hungry all the time. But we survived. After the war was over, when things were safer, we went back to Poland. I was nearly nine then." She looked over at Allie who was on Olivia's lap. "Wasn't much bigger then Allie is. Everything was destroyed. Papa didn't want to bother going back, he wanted to get to Lisbon because that's where ships were leaving for America from, but Mama wanted to try and find Bubbe. All we found was that menorah and a few other bobbles. My Bubbe's grandfather carved that back when our family still lived in Russia before our family fled Alexander III's Anti-Semitism."

At some point Serena had let Munch in and as he stood near her and Casey he felt a hard lump tighten in his throat. It was the same lump he felt any time he listened to the stories of elders who's experienced life as a Jew in Eastern Europe.

"Mama carried the menorah with her as we traveled to America." Sally went on after having to pause. She had tears in her eyes and she'd needed a moment to compose herself. She knew some might say that Allie was to young to hear such stories, but it was important to her to share all of this with not only her but her new family as well. Sally was no fool, she was old, her health wasn't as good as it was before the attack, and even though she was fighting her way back and would fight until her last breath; that last breath was closer then it had been a year ago. "We arrived here, right here in New York, not long before Chanukah. Papa, Mama, Ezra, me and Samuel who'd been born while we were still in Russia, and Naomi who'd been born here; every year we used that menorah. Just before Mama died, she gave it to me and I've continued to use it."

When she saw Alex getting ready to say something Sally shook her head and held up her hand. "It's meant to be used by a family, Mamele. It belongs here with you now."

"Thank you, Sally." Alex said softly.

With John and Caroline there the small, self made family made their way to the table. The sober mood the evening had taken on eased as they ate and laughed and shared. Alex felt a lot better when Sally said she'd done a fine job with dinner and that she'll learn and get better as she does it more. After dinner everyone gathered around the menorah and while Sally said the three blessings for the first night of Chanukah, Allie used the shammus

candle to light the shorter blue candle on the far right. With the shammus and first candle burning in the background, everyone gathered in the living room. Munch and Allie were laughing as they tried to teach Casey and Olivia how to play dreidel, while Sally explained to Caroline and Serena that because Bernadette had been Catholic and she was Jewish, they celebrated both holidays, and that for Chanukah Allie had always gotten the traditional gift of gelt, money, which left presents for Christmas and Santa Clause.

Standing near the window Alex silently watched her family and smiled. They're first Chanukah together had been just as perfect. She only hoped Christmas would be just as amazing.


	32. Chapter 32

"I am your parent; you are my child. I am your quiet place; you are my wild." Olivia read as she held the book so she and Allie could see it. With Christmas being so close and the excitement about spending the following day picking out their tree, Allie had picked one of her new Christmas themed books for her bedtime story. A pay day had yet to go by that Olivia didn't stop at a book store to pick her daughter up a new book. This week it had been You Are My Miracle, because the moment Olivia had seen the cover she knew it had to be perfect even if it was listed for slightly younger kids. "'I am your wrapping; you are my surprise. I am your don't peek; you are my wide eyes.''

It took Eloise At Christmas and Runaway Dreidel! before Olivia could slip from under her sleeping child's embrace. Pulling the covers up she leaned down and kissed Allie softly before slipping out of the room and heading down the hall towards her own. There was a dappy smile on the detective's face as she entered her and Alex's bedroom. It had been just recently that Allie was willing to let her and Alex share bedtime stories. It use to be a strictly Alex thing, while Olivia checked the room for monsters and bad people, but now that she didn't ask Olivia to check as much, she let her read to her instead.

"I know, I know," Olivia said as she closed the door behind her. "Two stories is the limit, but she's so excited about tomorrow that it took a third to calm her down." When there was no reply the dark haired woman looked over at her wife, who was laying in their bed with her glasses on, a piece of paper in her hand, and tears on her face. "Alex?"

Alex sniffled as she simply held out the pink and green piece of folded up paper.

Olivia blinked as she took it and quickly scanned it. "It's Allie's letter to Santa."

The blonde nodded. "Read it."

"Dear Santa," Olivia read out loud as she sank onto the bed next to her wife. "I hope you had a good year. I did. Some bad stuff happened, but a lot of good stuff happened too. That's why I don't need anything for Christmas. Last year, and the year before that, and the year before that I asked you for a mommy. Well I got two now! I have Mama Alex and Mommy 'livia and I still have my Bubbe, but I also got Grandmama Caroline and Aunt Casey and Aunt Serena, and Uncle John and Uncle Fin, and Uncle Elliot. I'm happy again. So I don't need any presents, but if you still want to come to my house could you please bring Arthur a new mouse? He put a hole in his and all the kitty nip came out and made him act sleepy and goofy all at the same time. And Max needs a new Incurable Hulk, cause he tore the head off his. And please bring Mama and Mommy what they want too. Mommy wants a Wii and Mama needs a new iPod cause Max chomped hers to bits, but I think she'd rather have an iPhone. Thank you very much, and Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. Allison Benson-Cabot."

Now Olivia had tears in her eyes. She reread the letter twice before she could finally speak. "We've got one special little girl."

Alex moved up so she was kneeling behind her love. She wrapped her arms about her and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. "How'd we get so lucky Liv?"

Olivia leaned back as she laid her arms over Alex's. "I don't know, baby. Maybe it's from all those wishing stars from when we were little or something."

That made Alex lift her head up and turn it so she could see her lover's face. "You wished on stars when you were little?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied as she blushed. "Didn't you?"

"Well yeah," Alex said as she pulled Olivia down so they were laying next to each other. "It's just, I don't know…"

Olivia laughed. "Can't see the rough and tough detective doing silly little girl things like wishing on stars and leaving milk, cookies, and oatmeal out for Santa."

Alex blushed a little from embarrassment and then shook her head. "No, it's not that, it's just with your mother and…"

"We did Christmas and New Years." Olivia explained as she reached out to brush at Alex's cheek. "Every year on New Years Eve we'd write down a wish and then tie it to a balloon. Then we'd go to the roof of our building and at midnight we'd let the balloons go."

"What did you wish for, Liv?" Alex asked softly as she moved closer to the other woman. She combing her fingers through Olivia's hair as she propped her head up with her other hand.

Olivia ducked her head down but Alex brought it up again so they were looking into each other's eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat and replied in a voice Alex had to strain to hear. "That we, my mom and me, could be happy."

"You wished for a happy family?" Alex smiled softly as she leaned in and kissed Olivia softly on the lips. "See, wishes really do come true. It just took the right time and place."

"And people." Olivia replied as she held Alex close. She'd waited for a long time for those wishes to come true, a whole lifetime. It felt good that she was able to make Allie's come true a lot sooner.

"Liv?" Alex said softly as they snuggled.

"Yeah?" Olivia replied.

Alex smirked. "Oatmeal?"

Olivia laughed. "For the reindeer of course."

Now Alex was laughing. "Of course."

As soon as Allie's eyes were open she was out of bed and running down the hall. She didn't even bother to stop and listen at her mothers door before flinging it open. She ran over to their bed, climb up and started to bounce. "Mama! Mommy! Wake up! All the best trees will be gone."

"Your daughter's awake." Alex groaned.

Olivia moaned. "Why is she my daughter at seven a.m.?"

"Because you're the morning person." Alex grumped.

Allie sighed. "Come on guys! We have to get ready for Christmas. We need a tree, and it has to be decorated, and we need to buy presents, and I need to see Santa and…."

Olivia popped up suddenly and snatched Allie by the middle, then pulled her under the covers with her and Alex. "We have all day, Allie-Cat."

"But we have to start early." Allie said as she snuggled between her mothers. "What if you get a call and have to go?"

"I covered for Elliot last weekend so he could do the family thing, so he's covering for me." Olivia explained.

"But all the good trees…"

"Will still be there." Alex said as she wrap an arm around the girl. "You have got to stop watching that Charlie Brown Christmas dvd."

Allie giggled and gave in.

Three hours later the Benson-Cabots were heading for their favorite breakfast diner. As Allie and Olivia scarfed down chocolate chip pancakes, Alex went over the day's agenda even though she knew they'd barely stick to it. They were going to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center, then the two o'clock matinee of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, and then a little shopping with lunch thrown in there somewhere. Dinner and Alex had a feeling a nap at home, and then this evening they'd head out to get their tree.

"What CD are you getting this year?" Olivia asked as she sipped at her coffee.

Every year for as long as she could remember Alex always bought a new Christmas CD, or when she was younger a cassette. "Josh Groban of course, and I want to pick up a copy of the Celtic Woman one too so Casey will stop trying to take mine."

The ice rink at Rockefeller Center wasn't to badly crowded. After getting her own skates on Olivia helped Allie with hers while Alex buzzed around with a camera. Allie giggled as they headed out onto the ice. She was a little wobbly and needed Olivia's help at first, but she picked up on it pretty quickly.

"Did you ice skate when you was little Mommy?" She asked as they went around.

Olivia nodded, "With my mom."

That made Allie smile. Her mommy didn't talk very much about her grandma Serena but when she did there was always the faintest of smiles on her lips. "What about you Mama?"

"All the time," Alex said as she continued to record her daughter and wife on the ice. "There's a small pound near our house in Connecticut that we use to go to all the time."

Olivia carefully skated her and Allie over to Alex and grinned. "Then show us your stuff Counselor."

Alex smiled. It was funny how they'd managed to turn their work titles into pet names and she couldn't help but laugh as she handed Olivia the camera. "Alright Detective. Watch how it's done."

The dark haired detective was impressed. Alex was pretty good, and so was the shot of her and Allie landing on their rear ends when they tried to spin around. Once Allie had declared she was cold, she and Alex agreed to hot chocolate at the coffee shop near Radio City. If they would have let her use her camera during the show she'd have taped Allie's expression the whole time. The tiny blonde's blue eyes were as wide as saucers and her smile never faded.

"That was so cool!" Allie cheered as they headed towards the door. "Did you see how Santa flew into New York? It was like he was right over our heads! And how they all danced together? How do they kick that high Mama? Did you see all the toy soldiers fall down? That was funny. Mommy how did they make it snow inside?"

Alex laughed as she tried to hang onto Allie's hand. She looked over at Olivia who was carrying the bag of souvenirs and shook her head, "I told you not to get her the huge hat full of cotton candy."

"You ate half." Olivia reminded her lover as they walked down the street. Allie was still rattling on and on about the show unaware or not even caring that she and Alex were only half listening. "Lunch?"

"Yeah," Alex agreed. "Better to get some real food in her system before she sugar crashes."

After lunch the three headed for the list of stores Alex had made. "We need to pick up the cards we ordered."

"I need to go to the ornament store too Mama." Allie reminded her mother.

An evil smirk curled the older blonde's lips. "I wonder if I can find a card for Arthur that says "What? Are you nuts? You're leaving Jack in charge!"

Olivia laughed. "Is he really thinking of leaving."

Alex nodded, "Yeah, he wants to run for a higher office."

"What? President?" Olivia teased.

"Congress first, but I wouldn't rule that out." Alex replied.

Once they got to the card and gift shop Alex went to pick up their cards while Allie lead Olivia to the wall or keep sake ornaments. "Ok Mommy, we need a basket."

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the look of concentration on Allie's face as she scanned the wall of ornaments. It had been a tradition she'd had with her Nana Dette to get everyone they loved an ornament every year, and Allie had asked if they could do it now too. Alex and Olivia had both been more then happy to agree. They wanted to blend as much of her old life as they could into Allie's new life.

"The angel pig for Aunt Serena." Allie said as she pointed to the little pink pig with wings. "The kitty in the basket for Arthur, the puppy at the doggie toy machine for Max. The Grumpy with the coffee mug for Uncle John."

"Baby he's…"

"I know but he still likes Grumpy and he is grumpy if he doesn't have coffee before Hebrew school." Allie replied then went back to looking and picking. "The puppy on the police hat for you. The baseball one for Aunt Casey. The one with the flags in it, yeah that one, it has a marine flag, that's for Uncle Elliot. The nurse shirt is for Aunt Kathy. The Chinese take out box for Uncle Fin. The John Wayne for Cap'n Don. The Strawberry shortcake for Mama, and the Elvis for Grandmama, and the space ship one for Bubbe."

"This one?" Olivia asked as she pointed to a Star Wars ship.

"Oh no!" Allie shook her head and pointed at the Star Trek ship. "Bubbe's a Trekkie."

That made Olivia laugh before asking, "What about you Allie-Cat?" She dutifully picked up what Allie had picked out and put it in the basket. She also grabbed a silver snow flake that said "Our first family Christmas" on it.

Allie hmmmed and then pointed to a set of mittens. One mitten said Mother and the other Daughter, "Only we need two Mother mittens."

The next night as Alex, Olivia and Allie decorated their tree, three pairs of ceramic

mittens were the first to go on.


	33. Chapter 33

Standing at the top of the snow covered hill Alex kept their digital camera locked on Allie and Elliot as they climbed onto a round snow tube. She smiled as Allie giggled. She'd been a little leery when Olivia brought up the idea of joining Elliot and his family on their Christmas Eve shielding trip because she and Elliot hadn't really talked much since Olivia was in the hospital. But it was Christmas Eve, he was Olivia's best friend, Allie did adore him, and she wasn't so mad at him any more. She just had no idea how to talk to him about it.

"Ready Allie?" Elliot asked as he wrapped his arms around the girl.

"Yeap!" Allie cheered.

Elliot gave a nod and Dickie gave them a push.

Alex laughed as Elliot and Allie went down the hill with Allie giggle screaming the whole way. "I'll be surprised if his ears aren't ringing."

Kathy smiled as she manned the hot chocolate thermos. "That was nothing compared to Kathleen's. One year she managed to scare the birds out of the trees."

"Hey!" Olivia called out as she pulled her own shield back up the hill as Elliot passed her. "How can I get service like that?" She pointed to Allie who was sitting in the tube as Elliot pulled it up.

"Be an eight year old again?" Elliot teased back and smirked. "Race ya."

Olivia grinned. "You're on Stabler."

"Liv said you two were working things out." Alex said as she watched her wife and Elliot huff and puff their way up the hill.

Kathy nodded. "We're trying, and not just for the kids. He's pig headed, stubborn, the poster boy for macho, but I love him."

Alex smiled at that. You knew it was true love when you could love the flaws just as much as the perfections. She understood, cause it's how she felt about Olivia.

"Can we go again Uncle Elliot?" Allie asked once they'd reached the top. She stood between him and her mommy as they both panted for breath.

Elliot nodded as he held a hand to his side. Chasing down a prep he could do, pulling a shield with an eight year old while racing his partner who hadn't just gone down and back up three times was a whole other story. "Sure half pint but ya have to let the old man catch his breath first, ok?"

"Ok," Allie said brightly as she went over to her mama. "Come on Mama," She said grabbing Alex's hand. "You haven't gone down yet."

Olivia smirked as she was suddenly handed the camera. "Try not to hit any trees."

"Ha ha!" Alex called over her shoulder.

Half an hour later while Olivia and Allie helped Kathy, Kathleen and Elizabeth build snow people, Alex found herself standing alone with Elliot. They were both gripping cups of hot chocolate in the vain hope that it would defrost them. As they watched their families playing and laughing Alex finally got her nerve up to speak up. "Elliot, about what happened at the hospital…"

"You were scared to death. I know." Elliot said cutting her off.

"Yeah, but I said some things…"

"That were pretty much true." He cut her off again, and then turned to look at her. "It's alright Alex. We're good."

Alex looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it and nodded. "Ok then." Turning back to watch the snow people building she didn't notice the smirk on Elliot's face, or see him put his cup down, or pick up the hand full of snow.

As soon as he saw his dad throw the snowball at Ms. Cabot Dickie yelled out as loud as he could. "SNOWBALL FIGHT!"

Alex was stunned but the smile on Elliot's lips told her he was playing. That's when icy blue eyes narrowed and Alex put her own cup down. "Oh now you're a dead man Stabler."

"Is that right? Well, bring it on Cabot." Elliot teased as he backed up and prepared to battle the blonde A.D.A, that's when he got splattered with a snowball from behind.

"Nice one Allie!" Maureen cheered and then handed the little girl another snowball.

"Oh now it's on." Elliot called out.

By the time everyone had called a truce they were all wet and snow covered. When teeth started to chatter and lips took on a hint of blue the adults decided it was time to go. They'd exchanged gifts over lunch so they started packing up their own cars to head their separate ways.

"Did you really like the ornament Uncle Elliot?" Allie asked Elliot as he held her. She had her arms around his neck and was looking him right in the eye.

Elliot smiled as he nodded. "I sure did, and the card you drew for me too."

Allie beamed. "Good." Leaning in she kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas Uncle Elliot." When he put her down she ran over to give Kathy and everyone a hug and wish them a Merry Christmas before finally getting into the back seat of the car.

"Merry Christmas." Olivia said as she looked over at Elliot.

"You too." He replied then got into his van.

"That was so much fun!" Allie said from the back seat as Olivia drove them back towards the city. "Can we do it again?"

Alex smiled as she looked back over her shoulder. "Sure we can baby girl."

"Are we gonna go see Uncle Fin and Uncle Munch and Cap'n Don now?" Allie asked as she tried to wiggle her mittens off.

Reaching back Alex pulled off the wet mittens, scarf, and hat. "I think we should head home first to change into dry clothes. Then we'll go to the station."

"Then we head to Casey and Serena's." Olivia added in. "Then home for the night."

Bright blue eyes lit up as Allie cheered. "Then Santa comes!"

Olivia laughed. "After you're asleep he comes. Then tomorrow we go to Caroline's."

"And then on the twenty-sixth we crash and sleep until spring." Alex said wishfully as she leaned her head back against the headrest. Christmas had always been a busy time of year, but busy took on a whole new meaning when there was an eight year old involved.

Olivia laughed as she reached over with her free hand and laced her fingers with Alex's. "Or at least until noon."

After a bit of cleaning up which included a bath for Allie, a change of clothes, and gathering up the rest of the gifts they'd be giving that evening they all headed to the precinct house. Since Fin didn't really have a family other then his son and Munch was Jewish they'd taken the holiday shift. Olivia knew from experience that everyone working would bring in food, but she still remembered to bring a batch of the peanut butter fudge the guys loved so much.

"And the girl comes through with the goods." Fin grinned as he made a beeline for Olivia and the tinfoil pan full of fudge.

"Didn't think I'd forget did ya?" Olivia teased.

"Nope," Fin mumbled around the chuck of confection in his mouth.

Taking her gifts out of the bag her mama was carrying Allie went over to her uncles. Along with the ornaments she had made each of them a hand drawn card. "Merry Christmas Uncle John."

Munch smiled as he took the gift wrapped in blue and silver paper. "Thanks kiddo." Sitting in his desk chair he opened it and pulled out the Grumpy ornament and smiled.

Fin laughed. "Oh that's prefect!"

Then Munch opened the card and his smile grew. "Your Hebrew is getting really good Als." Then he chuckled. "This is the first Christmas card I've ever gotten in Hebrew."

Allie titled her head with a worried look on her face. "Was that ok Uncle John?"

Munch hugged the girl and kissed the top of her head. "It's was perfect."

There was a bright smile on Allie's face as she went over to Fin. "Merry Christmas Uncle Fin." She's started to call Munch John as they got closer, and she really liked Fin too, but she just couldn't say his name right yet. When she tried it came out all funny and made her mommy laugh.

Fin picked the girl up and sat her on his desk as he opened the small gift then laughed. "That's me, king of take out. Thanks kid." He opened his card and smiled even more before looking up at Olivia and Alex. "You two should really put this kid in some art classes. She's good."

"We're looking in to some summer programs." Alex replied with a proud smile.

Once Allie was done Olivia handed the guys their gifts from her and Alex, and Fin gave them his. Munch had even picked up a book for Allie. They were talking and laughed when Cragen came out of his office to join them. He'd been touched at the gift from Allie and surprised the girl had remembered him saying that he liked John Wayne movies. He'd only mentioned it once while he was trying to keep her busy for ten minutes while Olivia made her way in from the field.

"Look Mommy!" Allie giggled as she held up a piece of her gift from Fin. "I have my own shield now."

Olivia took the little gold shield and looked it over. It looked pretty good, almost real but still clearly a kid's toy. "And here it took me years to get my gold shield."

Allie laughed as she took it back and clipped it to the ribbon that served as a belt for her dress. "It isn't real Mommy." She informed her mother. "Someday it will be though; when I'm grown just like you."

Olivia and Alex exchanged a look that said neither was sure they wanted that.

"You gonna be a cop like you mom?" Fin asked as he beat Munch to another piece of fudge.

Allie nodded. "And a lawyer too, like Mama. I wanna put the bad guys away and keep little kids safe like they do."

The lawyer thing Olivia could live with, but she wasn't so sure she waned her little girl to be a cop. It was just to dangerous. She looked over at Alex and again knew she was thinking the same thing.

They stayed a little longer with the guys then headed for Casey and Serena's for dinner. Olivia was starting to sense a theme in their friends gifts for Allie. Fin's "My first crime scene kit" and now Serena's "Junior lawyer" kit complete with a child edited law book. Where she'd managed to find a children's edition of the New York legal codes she couldn't even began to guess at.

"So now she can arrest the prep and then prosecute him herself." Serena laughed as they watched Allie looking over her gifts, which included a new baseball glove and Yankee's jersey from Casey.

"Or maybe she'll be an artist." Olivia said as she watched her daughter. "Or play music, she's been asking about learning to play something."

Casey watched her friend's face carefully and then said, "You don't want her becoming a cop do you?"

Olivia shook her head. "To dangerous. I'd be ok with her wanting to go to law school though, or medical school, or art school, or anything but the police academy."

"Being a prosecutor isn't exactly hazard free." Serena pointed out. When Casey had been attacked it had scared the hell out of her. She didn't know how Olivia had handled seeing Alex shot.

"She wouldn't have to do criminal law." Olivia replied.

Casey snorted. "She's too much like the two of you to do anything but be a prosecutor."

"Then we'll stick with the art school plan." Olivia said as she started to help clean up.

"Or we'll go along with whatever she wants." Alex added in. "She's eight, she'll want to be a hundred and one things before she's even in high school."

As Olivia drove them home later that night she kept stealing glances of Allie in the rear view mirror. It had only taken five minutes of being in the car before the girl was out cold, her head titled at a funny angle and her new glove clutched firmly as if it were her teddy bear. She couldn't help but wonder if her own mother had gotten a knot in her stomach when she'd told her she wanted to be a cop, if she felt the same sense of fear, or if she was feeling it simply because she knew what it was like out there.

"Liv?" Alex asked softly after watching her wife's face for awhile. "You ok?"

Olivia smiled, "Yeah baby, I'm fine."

When they got home Olivia carried a still sleeping Allie up to their apartment while Alex carried up their gifts. The little girl didn't even stir while Olivia changed her into her pajamas.

"Think she'll sleep all night?" She asked as she and Alex got ready for bed.

Alex set their alarm so they could get up around three to put the presents under the tree and to leave a few near the door for her brother who was going to sneak in as Santa. "Until Chris shows up and makes just enough noise to get her attention. Then she'll probably end up in bed with us."

"Guess that means we sleep with cloths on." Olivia sighed teasingly.

Alex rolled her eyes.

There was something in the living room; a noise, it sounded like… bells? Allie's eyes flew open as she sat up in bed. It took a moment for her to realize she was in her room, in her bed, and that she was hearing bells in the living room. She knew she should stay in bed. Santa only came when kids were asleep, but she had to look, she had to see if it was him. So she very carefully eased out of her bed, her bear clutched tight as she tip toed to her door. She put her finger to her lips to let Arthur know to be quiet, then carefully opened her door. She was surprised to see Max's bed empty, he slept in the hall between her room and her mothers', but she figured he was investigating the noises to. She padded barefoot into the hall and out towards the living room with Arthur at her side and her bear in her arms. Peering around the corner bright blue eyes opened wide as Allie covered her mouth as she gasped. It was Santa!! He was putting presents in her stocking and under the tree. He chuckled softly and waged a finger at Max when the golden retriever mix tried to snort his way into Santa's bag to get his own present.

It was Max who noticed her first which made Santa look her way. Allie froze, she was busted, he was going to take all her stuff back now. But then he smile, reached into his bag and pulled out a small stuffed dog that looked just like Max with a Santa hat on. He walked over to her, handed her the toy and then winked. Allie smiled, her eyes big and bright. "Thank you Santa."

"Now back to bed with you," He said softly and patted her head.

Allie nodded, turned on her heel and ran to her mothers' room. They were both in bed sound asleep so she carefully climbed into bed and made herself comfortable between them, teddy bear and stuffed Max cuddled close. Once her breathing was slow and deep and she was sound asleep, Alex opened her eyes and smiled. She could remember the feeling of getting up and sneaking downstairs to catch Santa and the small stuffed toy he'd give her, her brother, and her sister. As she cuddled her daughter she couldn't help but miss her father, he always played the best Santa.

It was the sunlight on her face that woke Allie up. She stretched as best she could since she was sandwiched between her mothers and noticed the new stuffed toy she was holding. Then it hit her. She'd seen Santa! It was morning! It was Christmas! "MAMA!" She yelled. "MOMMY! Get up get up get up." She called out as she climbed over Alex to get out of bed. "It's Christmas! Santa was here! Come on!"

Two very groggy women moaned and laughed as they got out of bed and followed their daughter into the living room. They found her standing beside the tree with wide eyes and a huge grin.

"Oh wow." Allie said as she looked at the twinkling tree and the presents. "We musta been really really good this year."

Alex snickered. It was more like she and Olivia had never gotten to buy presents for their own child before and went a little overboard.

"Where do we start?" Allie asked as she walked around the tree.

"How about stockings first?" Olivia said as she went over to where five stockings where hung. She handed Allie hers first, then Alex hers, then she put Max's and Arthur's on the floor before grabbing her own. As she joined her wife and daughter on the couch she couldn't help but laugh at the look on the cat's face that clearly said, "I have to do this myself?"

An art set with over a hundred pieces to it including an easel, a singing Hannah Montana doll and most of the play sets that go with it, a Hannah Montana mix max personal media player, High School Musical Two DVD, Hannah Montana DVDS and Cds, the High School Musical sing along Wii game to go with the Wii Alex got Olivia, several leapster cartridges, new drawer boxes for Allie's comic books, Scrabble Junior, tickets to the upcoming Little Mermaid musical, and countless other things later there was a huge wrapping paper mess not only around the tree, but it had managed to spread to most of the apartment.

"Liv," Alex said breathlessly as she fingered the emerald tennis bracelet that was now around her wrist. "It's beautiful."

Olivia smiled and kissed Alex softly. "I'm not done yet." Getting up she walked over to where she'd hidden two more presents. She handed the first one to Alex and smiled.

"Olivia," Alex warned. "I only have so many body parts to wear jewelry on."

"Just open it smarty." Olivia teased as she waved to Allie to come sit with them.

Alex took the paper off and opened the small box. Inside was the tiny sliver of gold that she knew instantly went into her pendent. "52099." Alex read and then turned the tiny gold slip over. "91507"

Allie laughed as she got the meaning of the numbers right away. "Those are my dates! My birthday and the day Judge Donnelly okayed my adoption."

There were tears in Alex's eyes and she nodded. "That's right baby girl."

Olivia smiled as she fingered her own pendent. "I have one too." Taking the tiny slip of gold from Alex she carefully opened the envelop shaped locket and slid it inside. Then she accepted the kiss Alex gave her while Allie giggled madly. When she and Alex pulled apart she held out the second little wrapped box. "Ok Allie-Cat. One more to open."

Allie took the present and torn the paper off carefully. She opened the box and yet again bright blue eyes went wide. "My own?"

Olivia nodded as she took the envelop shaped locket out of the box. She opened it carefully and pulled out the gold slip.

"Love Always." Allie read. "Just like yours and Mama's!"

"Just like ours." Alex said still teary eyed. "Read the back."

"MAMO." Allie smiled and giggled. "Mama Alex and Mommy Olivia."

Olivia nodded as she put the gold slip back into the locket and then put the locket around Allie's neck.

Allie pressed her hand against it, holding it to her chest. She wanted to say something but all her feelings were rushing and dancing and she didn't know what to say. So she tuned on her mommy's lap so she could put an arm around each of her mothers' neck. "This was the bestest Christmas ever!"

An hour later Alex stood in the kitchen door way holding a cup of coffee and watching her daughter sleeping in a pile of warping paper and ribbon. She fingered her necklace and smiled. Was it legal to feel this good?

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asked as she wrapped her arms around Alex's middle.

Alex smiled. "Honestly?"

Olivia nodded. "Honestly."

"What it would be like to stand here and watch two or maybe even three children near the Christmas tree on Christmas morning."

That surprised Olivia and it took her a moment to process what Alex was saying. "Are you serious? You really want another kid?"

Panic squeezed at Alex's heart as she turned to look at her wife. "Yes, I'm very serious. Don't you?"

Olivia paused a moment her mind racing. "Honestly?"

Alex nodded.

"It's been on my mind ever since Thanksgiving and the wedding." Olivia said as she brushed hair out of Alex's eyes. "Watching you with Christian and Meredith; it reminded me how much I wished I'd had a brother or sister. I use to think that dealing with everything would have been easier if I'd had someone to share it all with. I want Allie to have what you had growing up, not me."

Alex sighed in relief and turned fully so she could wrap her free arm around her wife. "Does this mean we can start talking about having another child?"

Olivia laughed then kissed Alex quickly. "I think we just did."


	34. Chapter 34

Sitting on top of the picnic table under one of the pavilions off the walking trail Olivia gripped the paper cup in her hands and watched the light snow as it fell. She was on her lunch break but wasn't really very hungry. For days her mind had felt crowded and overwhelmed. So instead of heading to the diner with Elliot she decided to take a walk and ended up here in the cold watching it snow and thinking.

A year ago, just one year, it had been just her and Alex. They were just adjusting to each other, to living together, and putting their pasts behinds them. Olivia had to close her eyes against the sudden flood of memories. Elliot going for the car, the blinding light, the heat of the car bomb, Alex laying next to her, and then Alex sitting in the back of the ambulance wrapped in a blanket looking pale and shaken up. She shook her head to clear the memory only to have it replaced with the worse one of all.

"_Get ya a cab?"_

"_No I'm not far I'll walk. Thanks though. Look I'm sorry I'm such a buzz kill." _

"_Aw, don't be silly." _

_BANG_

"_Get down!"_

_BANG BANG_

"_Alex. No, no no no no no no no. Somebody call an ambulance! Call nine one one! Now! Alex. It's ok Alex. Alex look at me. It's ok sweetheart. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me Alex. They're on their way now. It's going to be ok. Alex you're going to be ok. Alex look at me. You're going to be just fine. You're going to be just fine. Just stay with me. Hey Alex Alex Alex, it's ok."_

The blood, Her blood, Alex's blood seeping through her fingers covering her hands getting into the crevices of her rings, the silver band Alex had just given her the Christmas before. It was on her shirt, her jacket, the warmth of it soaking through and causing her to shiver against the cold night air. Looking over her shoulder at Elliot and seeing a just as helpless look on his face. Looking back down into beautiful bright blue eyes that were quickly dimming. The hospital, her refusal to leave, the doctor finally coming out and telling them Alex had died. Elliot having to physically pull her away from the doctor as she screamed at him.

The numbness.

Then the call to meet the marshals and seeing Alex in the back of that SUV. The joy and the pain that tore through her. It all played in Olivia's mind and she had to physically shake herself to bring herself back to the present, back to the picnic table in Central Park. She'd become all about the job then. It was all she had with Alex gone. Her work, it took on a new meaning, a new reason, a new passion. Before it had been about putting rapists away so other women wouldn't have to go through what her mother went through. It was all about the victims. Then Alex happened, and then Alex was gone. It was still about the victims, but now it was about putting every scum bag she laid hands on in a dark hole to rot. Men like those who'd hurt the two most important women in her life.

There'd been a brief flicker of hope when Alex had come back to testify against her shooter, but then she was gone again and so was the hope. Then her phone rang.

"_They got him, Liv." _

"_Who got who?"_

"_The Feds, Liv. They finally did something right. They got him and most of his closest men."_

"_Velez."_

"_Yeah, Liv, Velez…"_

It had taken a lot of self control that Olivia had no idea she'd had not to put a bullet from her own gun into that evil corpse. She looked at his body, knew he was dead, knew the danger was over, but she'd still wanted to paid him back for what he'd taken from her. She smiled a little after taking a sip of her coffee. Guess in away she has now. She'd gone to Arizona, she'd knocked on Alex's door and she brought her home.

"_You've been the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before going to sleep for a long time, Olivia. Your a big part of why I want to get back to my life so badly. I want you in it, only this time I want you in it knowing that I love you."_

That's when everything had done a one-eighty, when suddenly her screwed up life was finally right. Alex was home and they were together. It had been a rollercoaster ride with Alex adjusting to her life again and them trying to start a long over due relationship, but they did it, and they did it together. Suddenly Olivia found herself looking at apartments to share and before she knew it they were living together and even had a dog.

Then the call came almost an exact year to the day. It had been just before New Year's when she and Elliot had gotten the call about an elderly rape victim. Almost a year to the day that she followed the sound of a beeping cordless phone to a child's bedroom closet. Almost a year to the day that two tiny blue eyes full of fear and tears looked out at her from behind hanging shirts and dresses.

"_Hi. I'm Olivia. I'm a police officer. What's your name sweetheart?" _

"_Allison… but Allie's shorter." _

Olivia had no clue that the scared little girl she'd eased out of the closest that day would end up bringing so much joy and happiness to her life. When she thought back on it she thought maybe she'd felt something, a jolt, kind of like the first time she'd seen Alex, but she wasn't sure if she was just being overly romantic and sappy. But then again, Alex had felt it too. Her lover had taken to the tiny little blonde with the bright blue eyes just as quickly as Olivia had.

The months just sped along from there. Serena had come up with the idea of them becoming Allie's foster parents, Sally suffered her stroke, and every morning when she opened the guest room door and saw that tiny form sleeping beneath the covers of the full sized bed that seemed to swallow her whole, Olivia handed over another little piece of her heart. God how scared she'd been when Serena brought up the idea of her and Alex taking Allie in. Olivia loved her mother but she didn't want to be anything like her. Remembering what her childhood was like, what her mother was like, what she'd wanted and missed out on; it helped, and in her own strange way Serena Benson was helping her daughter be a good mother.

Or at least Olivia hoped she was being a good mother. Allie was happy, she'd even said so in her letter to Santa. And just like that night when she could see the light in Alex's eyes dim, she could see the light in Allie's eyes get brighter every day. Alex's too for that matter. The take no prisoners, make the tough calls, ice queen of the Manhattan district attorney's office, the woman who seemed to be born in a power suit holding a warrant guaranteeing a conviction; was actually a natural mother. Caring and gentle with just the right measure of give and take. She was able to sooth Allie's fears, cheer her on and encourage her, and even discipline her with a natural grace that Olivia wasn't even sure Alex knew she had. Not once had Alex ever raised her voice to Allie, though she had developed a whole new range of "looks".

Olivia smiled. She'd teased Alex about those "looks". She'd told her she had her "lawyer looks" her "Olivia looks." and now her "Mama looks." and then she'd tell her that she hadn't known the human face had that many muscles to move.

Olivia use to be able to count the most important moments of her life on one hand. Seeing the look of pride on her mother's face when she graduated from college. The day she graduated from the police academy. The day she got her gold shield. The first time her testimony put a rapist in prison. All those years of work and accomplishment had grown dim over the last year. Replaced by even more important moments. The first time Allie called her Mommy. The day they signed her adoption papers. The first time Allie told someone her name was Allison Benson-Cabot. The first time Allie had introduced her to someone as her mother. The day she ask Alex to marry her. Their wedding day. Thanksgiving. Chanukah. Christmas.

She use to be all about the past. Her past, her mother's past, the desire to pull away and the line that kept her tethered to it all. All that; all of it was nothing but shadows now. Passing shades of memories that will always be apart of her, but no longer define who she is. Now Olivia was about the present, about knowing she needed to pick Allie up at three, and knowing she had an appoint with Elizabeth Olivet next week. Alex had given her a future and Allie had made it brighter.

Yeah, Olivia thought as she got down off the picnic table and tossed her empty coffee cup out, it's been a hectic year, but it's been a great year. She smiled as she headed back towards the one-six, her smile turning to a smirk as her cell began to ring. She figured she was late getting back but her smile returned when it was Alex's number on the caller id rather then Elliot's. "Hey beautiful. I was just thinking about you." She paused then laughed. "Yes good things. That sounds great. I'll grab the Chinese and you and Allie can grab the movies." She paused again and then added, "Hey Alex, I love you."


	35. Chapter 35

Unable to sleep Alex carefully slid out of bed. She just couldn't seem to shut down for the night, her mind racing from one thought to the next. Pausing by the bedroom door she looked over to the bed where Olivia was shifting, adjusting to the sudden absence of her body. She smiled softly as the brunette pulled her pillow a little closer, but stayed very much asleep. Padding down the hall she took a moment to check on Allie. The girl was still madly in love with the musical Wicked, but she now had an obsession with Hannah Montana so her bedroom was now a clashing motif of the two. Slipping inside Alex walked over to Allie's bed to pull her Hannah Montana comforter up over her shoulders and to tuck her tiny bare foot under the blankest as well. She smiled softly as she brushed hair from Allie's eyes then kissed her head before slipping back out of the room.

After turning on a small lamp in the living room Alex made her way into the kitchen where she made herself a cup of tea that she hoped would help her unwind. Then she settled on the couch and stared out the window at the bright lights of the city. As she sat there trying to get her thoughts in order, to slow down her mind so she could sleep, she felt herself think back a lot further then she wanted too. How many nights while she was in witness protection had she sat up half the night sipping tea and listening to that one particular Linda Ronstadt song, the one they'd used in that silly movie Allie liked about the little Russian mouse?

_And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby it helps to think we're sleeping under the same big sky._

Back then her mind drifted back to New York and the life she'd left behind. Then it would drift to Olivia and how they'd left so much unsaid. The fear that would grip at her when she thought that she might never get to tell Olivia how she felt was actually physically painful. So were the pretend dates, the act of having a normal life, the nights sitting across from someone thinking "Your not her and never could be." She was kind of obsessed and that didn't really help with her adjustment into her new lives.

…_you're fascinated by her; she may be waiting 'round the comer of your mind but still you know she's there you can feel her inside so don't forget about the reasons that brought you her 'cause she's a miracle._

Emily in Wisconsin and Tiffany in Arizona. God had she been bored out of her mind. Teaching in Arizona wasn't bad, but Wisconsin was torture. Though if Olivia had been with her, if her dark haired dark eyed detective had been there to share those humdrum lives, they'd have been a hell of lot easier to take.

_So hard to find my way now that I'm all on my own. Cast my memory back there, lord,  
sometime I'm overcome thinking about making love with you, my brown-eyed girl, You, my brown-eyed girl._

She hadn't realized it until Olivia had shown up at her door in Arizona, but despite the constant flow of blood through her vines keeping her alive, her heart had stopped beating. The night she'd "died", that's when it had stopped. That night on the cold New York sidewalk as Olivia's voice became fainter and fainter. _Alex look at me. It's ok sweetheart. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me Alex. They're on their way now. It's going to be ok. Alex you're going to be ok. _Those fading words haunted Alex's dreams, and yet hearing Olivia's voice called her sweetheart made her smile. Then she'd found out that they'd haunted Olivia and that her heart had stopped that night too.

As soon as she'd signed the papers that released her from the program she wanted to tell Olivia everything, how she felt, how she'd wanted her, how she'd been falling in love with her. But they'd eased into it, it was kind of like recovering from hyperthermia. They had to warm up slowly or they'd go into shock. But they got there, and now they were here.

_When you call on me; When I hear you breathe; I get wings to fly I feel that I'm alive  
When you look at me; When you reach for me; I can touch the sky; I know that I'm alive._

Why did her mind kept dredging up songs? Alex laughed at herself softly as she continued to look out the apartment window. It was like some play list from her iPhone was suddenly playing along to her thoughts and memories. Memories that only got better after hearing Olivia say she loved her.

She'd tried to come back to New York and pick up as if she'd never left, and in some ways she had, but in other ways she never could. She was a different person, a totally different Alex Cabot then the one who'd been rushed off in a dark caravan of SUVs. But through it all there was Olivia. When she'd have nightmares, there was Olivia. When Olivia would have nightmares, there she was. Alex sighed. She knew Olivia still thought and from time to time dreamt of the night she was shot. She could just tell. There was a particular way Olivia shivered when she was thinking of that moment.

_I cry and you comfort me I'm lost and you hear my scream So its hard to watch you falling When you run so deep in me You live in me Gonna stand by your side now  
Let me kiss all your tears away You can stay in my arms now And I know I can make you believe Again.._

"Ok," Alex said softly to the city outside her window. "I have to stop buying every Celine Dion CD that comes out."

As she went back to the kitchen for a second cup of tea, Alex wondered just how long it had been since she stopped to think, to sort things out, to reflect. At the rapid pace her mind was at now, clearly the answer was a long time. She'd come home to New York, reunited with her family, her mother who she thought dead, her friends. She took her job back, found a place to live, had to explain why she suddenly wasn't dead anymore. And to top it all off, she and Olivia were building a relationship. She'd lost count of the times her emotions for Olivia scared the hell out of her. How could you possibly love someone so much, so completely, and not lose yourself?

_I was her she was me. We were one we were free  
_

It was easy, she learned, you simply do. She learned that lesson again when Allie entered her life. She'd watched Olivia question hundreds of kids, but from the moment she'd seen her with Allie she knew this kid was special. When she went into the children's interview room and sat down, when those tiny blue eyes met hers, something inside her stirred. She'd had no idea when she'd promised Allie she'd see them again that she'd end up seeing them forever. As she took her seat back by the window she smiled. She'd heard Allie describe it once and liked how the little girl had put it. She'd told Mrs. Margolis, their neighbor, that when God looked down and saw the three of them together that very first time he nodded his head and said, "Yes, that's right. That's how I meant it to be."

_Some hearts; They just get all the right breaks. Some hearts have the stars on their side.  
Some hearts; They just have it so easy. Some hearts; just get lucky sometimes _

A year ago she was getting use to having a dog around the apartment and Olivia's annoying little habits. Now she was picking up after an eight year old, a cat, a dog, and Olivia's still annoying little habits, and she would honestly have it no other way. She loved being a mother, more then she ever thought she would. She loved the good and the bad, the laughter and the tears, and everything in between. She'd reached levels of emotion and tenderness that she didn't know she possessed. And to watch Olivia with Allie, it was like seeing a living poem. All Allie had to do for either of them after they'd had a hellish day was smile and the world was right again.

_In my daughter's eyes I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear But the truth is plain to see She was sent to rescue me I see who I want to be In my daughter's eyes _

In a year's time she'd gone from Alex Cabot ADA to someone's guardian, to someone's mother, to someone's wife. Who knew what the next year would bring. Their lives were anything but predicable, not with Olivia's job and not with hers. She also knew their lives weren't going to be easy. They were a lesbian couple raising a child (hopefully children) and there will be people with issues with that. Allie still had nightmares from time to time, and she was still scared either she or Olivia would leave her, but Alex had watched that sweet little girl bloom in just a single year. She didn't want Allie to grow up to fast, but she was really going to take the time to enjoy every moment of it.

_She's at the startin' line of the rest of her life. As ready as she's ever been. Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes. The prize is hers to win. She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits that open road. Baby get ready Get set Don't go_

Alex smiled. The always ready, always willing to put up a fight, always willing to do what needed done Alex Cabot was more then ready to see what life hand in store for her. And no matter what, she knew she'd get threw it cause she had two people who she loved more then anything and who loved her the same way in return.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be._

"Mama?" A sleep voice called out softly.

Alex turned away from the window and twisted on the couch so she could look over at the girl standing there. "What are you doing up baby girl?"

"Had a bad dream." Allie said as she hugged her teddy bear tight with one arm and rubbed her eyes with the other.

Alex couldn't help but smile at how cute Allie looked. "Come here baby girl."

Allie padded over to her mother and climbed into her lap. As soon as Alex's arms were around her she snuggled down, putting her head on Alex's chest and closed her eyes.

Alex pulled the throw off the back of the couch and covered them up with it. She cuddled her daughter close and kissed her head.

"Mama?" Allie asked softly.

"Yes baby girl?" Alex replied.

"Will you sing?" Allie asked.

Alex had to keep herself from laughing. Her head had been full of songs all night long. Holding a little tighter to her daughter Alex sang, "In the nighttime when you sleep  
Oh I bless you while a watch I keep. As you lie in slumber deep. My blessing goes with you. This is my prayer for you There for you, ever true. Each, every day for you, in everything you do."


	36. Chapter 36

The annual Cabot New Year's Eve party. It was half party half charity event and for as long as Alex could remember she'd always had to at least make an appearance. It use to drive her nuts, having to meet and greet and smile for pictures that would be in the society pages. When she got older and decided her career could very well take on a political spin, she didn't mind it so much. While she was gone, she actually missed it.

She had never been required to stay the whole night. When she was younger her nanny would take her home if she was too tired to stay up and as a teenager she was free to go do her own thing as long as she had permission. After law school she pretty much stuck around, but not tonight. Tonight she was going to take advantage of her out clause. Slipping through the gathered guests as best she could she made her way over to where Olivia was and smiled.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," She said sweetly as she interrupted the conversation Olivia was having with the chief of detectives.

"Of course not Ms. Cabot." The Chief said politely.

Olivia raised her brow as Alex wrapped her hand around her arm.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to call it a night. Allison's first society party has worn her out." Alex said as she started to tug on Olivia.

Allie had taken a nap that afternoon because she was determined to stay up until midnight, but if it got Olivia out of any more political small talk she'd play along with anything. "Then we should be going." She said, then looked at the Chief. "Have a happy new year, Sir."

"You as well Detective."

As they walked away Olivia sighed. "Thanks for the save."

"It wasn't just as save." Alex said as they headed for the front sitting room of her mother's Manhattan condo. "And it's good for you to network. With the corners we cut in SVU, it never hurts to have people with shinny medals and pins on their uniforms on our side."

That made Olivia smile. Alex tended to forget she wasn't SVU anymore, that she'd moved up in the legal world, but in her heart the ADA was still their's as much as Casey was.

"Mama," Allie said when her parents came into the room. "Why are we leaving early?"

Alex took Allie's coat from her mother and helped the little girl put it on. "Because we have other plans baby girl."

"We do?" Both Allie and Olivia asked together.

"Yes," Alex replied. "We do."

Both Allie and Olivia just shrugged.

The whole cab ride home was full of unanswered questions from the dark haired detective and blonde eight year old, but Alex didn't say a word. She did however keep checking her watch. Why hadn't they'd left sooner? It was insane to think they could get a cab and get home in time. She didn't fully relax until they pulled up in front of their building with a half an hour to spare.

As they entered the building the elder blonde of the family stole a quick glance at the doorman, Henry, who simply winked. Alex smiled.

"Um, ok, we're home." Olivia said as she pressed the up elevator button. "Why?"

"You'll see." Alex said as the doors slid open. When Olivia went to press their floor she smacked her hand away and pressed the top floor instead.

Allie titled her head. "Are we going up to see Mr. Fergus?"

"No." Alex replied.

"Mr. and Mrs. Davenport?" The girl asked.

Alex shook her head.

Allie looked confused, they really didn't know anyone else on the top floor.

When the doors opened Alex stepped out first and headed down the hall to the right, then went left at the end. As Olivia followed she suddenly realized where they were going. The door to the roof was at the end of the hall they were now walking down. A knot was beginning to form in her throat as they climbed up the stairs carefully since two out of three of them were in heels.

"Over here." Alex said as she went over to the small rooftop patio. On the café style table was a small box, and three balloons tied securely to the cast iron.

Olivia gasped, tears stinging her eyes. "Alex?"

Alex smiled softly as she took Olivia's hand and lead her over to the table. "We've spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my mother, I thought maybe it would be nice to spend New Year's Eve with yours."

Allie looked confused. "I thought Grandma Serena was in Heaven?"

"She is." Olivia said after swallowing the lump in her throat. Then she told Allie what she had told Alex about making New Year's wishes. That's when Alex opened the box and took out three sheets of paper and three pens.

"What do I wish for?" Allie asked as she sat on one of the cast iron chairs.

"Anything you want baby girl." Alex replied as she watched the emotion dance through her wife's dark eyes. She bit the inside of her cheek hoping that this hadn't been a bad idea.

After everyone's wishes were written down and tied to the balloons Olivia stood on the roof of her building, her mind flashing between this moment of having her wife and child with her, and moments when it had been her and her mother. She smiled softly, barely, only someone who knew her would even know it was a smile. For the first time in a long time she could see her own mother's face clearly, her smile, her words ringing through her mind as she pulled Allie closer.

"_It's almost time, Livvy." _

"It's almost time, Allie." Olivia said.

"_Are you ready to make your wish?" _

"Are you ready to make your wish?" Olivia echoed.

Allie grinned up at her mother and nodded. "Yeap, I'm ready." Then she reached up and wiped a tear off her mother's face. "Are you ok Mommy?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm more then ok Allie-Cat." She replied and then looked over at Alex who was on Allie's other side. "Thank you." She whispered as the whole city began to count down.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6..." They counted together and then suddenly it was only Allie's voice. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

Without breaking their kiss Olivia and Alex let go of their balloons then pulled away just as Allie let hers go. The three of them stood there listening to the city and watching as their wishes flew higher and higher.

"Do you think Grandma Serena will get our wishes and make them come true?" Allie asked, her neck bent back so far she'd title backwards if she tried to bend it any further.

"I think she'll try her best." Olivia answered.

Allie smiled.

"What did you wish for baby girl?" Alex asked as they made their way back down to their apartment.

Allie looked at her mother as if she'd said something really stupid. "You have to keep wishes a secret, Mama, or else they don't come true."

Alex laughed. "I thought that only counted for birthday wishes."

"Nope," The girl said as she shook her head. "It's the law for all wishes."

"Well," Alex teased as they went into their apartment and crashed on the couch together. "We can't go breaking any laws now can we."

Allie shook her head and giggled. "Mommy would have to arrest us."

Olivia laughed. "I'm not sure if SVU covers broken wish laws. I'll have to check with Captain Don."

An hour later after tucking in a very tired eight year old Olivia found herself simply watching Alex as she moved around their bedroom. She still couldn't believe her love would do something so incredibly sweet for her. Getting up off the bed she walked over to Alex just as she was pulling a night shirt from her drawer. The dark haired detective wrapped her arms around her wife's bare middle and kissed her neck. "Have I told you lately how incredible you are?"

"You aren't upset?" Alex asked as she turned in her lover's arms.

"Upset?" Olivia asked in surprise. "Baby, you gave me a perfect memory, one with the three people I love the most in all the world. You gave me a chance to share you and Allie with my mother. How could I bet upset?"

Alex sighed in relief. "It's just hard sometimes, ya know? To read you when it comes to her."

Olivia knew that was true, so instead of replying she leaned down and kissed Alex. When they pulled apart she smiled. "Happy New Year, baby."

"Happy New Year, Liv." Alex whispered with a soft smile.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Come to bed."


	37. Author’s Note

My darling readers. **Don't panic!** **The story is not over! **I just thought that ending it at the end of the year here was fitting. I will be continuing, I'm actually going to be picking up right where I'm leaving off. The start of a new year. I'm just going to do it under a new title. So you can all look for the first post of "At the speed of life" tomorrow J

And thank you all very much for reading and reviewing this story. I'm so glad so many people are enjoying it. And like I said, Alex, Olivia, Allie and the rest have a lot of life to live. And I hope you'll all enjoy that as well.

Reese


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